Friday, July 15, 2011


I know , I know. I haven't been updating. That's because I'm really damn busy at the moment. No time for myself. As you know, I just renewed my contract and yeah, the raise didn't went exactly as I wanted.

Anyway, I'm an assistant in my company now and well, things aren't really peaceful at the moment. Although this is a blog but I kinda wanna keep this low profile. Anyway, this few months and upcoming months are gonna be a crazy plus busy months for me since we are rushing with deadlines.

As for my darling, he is still facing financial crisis(no surprise). About his father's company, not too sure about the news. The last thing I heard from him is that his father asking him to find another job since his father's type of jub doesn't suit him. So I don't know what's the rest after that. I don't really wanna talk to him about it.

As for friendship, I don't know. I and Jennifer aren't close anymore due to her relationship life. All I know is that I did my part. And the other thing is,I don't know why she likes to copy me. At first, I created an album of me anf my boyrfriend in FB. No one I know did that. But suddenly, out of the sudden, she go and create like me and Felix's album. She and her boyfriend. And when we go for vacation last week(which was suppose to be my birthday trip), I took pictures with Felix here and there, and there she and her boyfriend goes. Taking pictures. It's like trying to compete like that. Please la. Don't compete la.I and Felix are long enough together. It's so obvious we're still strong la. Save your show la. Haiyo. Anyway, I'm still in work now and yeah. Kinda tired. Like I said. I'm rushing right now. Alright...have to stop here. Going back soon. Adios!

Monday, July 04, 2011

Fight with Felix.

Sigh..hi guys. I'm currently not in a good state. I really don't understand why Felix has to be so difficult. I really love him a lot. I love him so much that I just want to be with him 24/7. I know that it's insane and not good. But I just couldn't help it. Probably because he is like a drug to me.

We had a terrible fight lastnight and I nearly tore his shirt because he said something which really made me extremely mad. I am sad and hurt as well that our relationship is going this way. I hurt my own throat lastnight shouting so damn load many many times. Thanks to him. I know that I was really really insane and really upset lastnight. I don't know how am I now. And I really don't know what will happen later.

Just finish browsing through all the videos and wall in FB. From the day he handed me the keychain to his birthday, jen's birthday trip, hiking trip, chinese new year ,valentines day,genting times and my birthday. He stopped loving me after valentines day. And when I said stop loving me is, all the fairy tales and all the sparks that we use to have are all gone. I don't know him anymore. He said he did a big mistake when he was with me. At the very beginning. I didn't think it was a mistake. I thought it was wonderful. And I also though that I found the one. And I will never think twice to even marry this guy but now, I don't know anymore.

I don't want a boyfriend to just leave me be when I cry terribly or not. I don't know why must he hurt me so much. He already knows what I want. But why can't he do it? It's not that hard. It doesn't even cost him any money. All I know why he act this way is because of financial crisis but at the end of the day he has to understand, that everyone suffers from that. I seriously just push down my pride lastnight just hoping that we all will just forget it and start over but he just push me away and asked me to go to sleep. This morning he did the same thing. He said he need sometimes to cool down because whatever happened lastnight, he can never just look away and act as if nothing happened. He speaks as if I'm the one hurting him.

Sometimes, I don't think felix knows what is he talking about. All I want from him is just what couple usually do. I don't want to compare anything but that's just my dream guy. He was once my dream guy so what difference does it make now? Nothing. If he were not to think too much then nothing is hard. I don't need him to spend me. I just want romantic movies and romantic sentences from him. Why can't he give me? It doesn't costs him even RM0.01. He just changed too much and not wanting to pampered me and caress me anymore. I really miss that Felix.

Shit!Eyes getting misty again. Well, he isn't staying at my house tonight. So I'm going to drink. Drink beer in a pub with Jen. Hope everything will be fine. I realyl hate my life now. This friday we are going for a trip. Don't know how are we going to overcome this matter before that friday. Sigh. I feel so sad now. Seriously. Feel really miserable. See you guys again. T.T