Monday, November 22, 2010

Depressed by my friends.

Hi all. Now am in work. Waiting for my boyfriend to come. I felt weird last night. I felt like my circle of friends had become much more smaller comparing to lastime. Now I only feel like am close with no one. Not even Jennifer which is my bestfriend. Sometimes I feel like she don't really appreciate me. My friendship. I see that she has a lot of friends in her life. Just check out her FB pictures and not to mention albums. Profile pictures lastime are with me lastime but now all I see she ever put in her profile pics are pictures of her marathon, her hiking trip and paintball stuff.
And all of a sudden, I just don't feel close to her anymore like how I used to before this. Nothing in common. No stuffs that we use to do like together? I seldom see her nowadays. I seldom do best friend things with her. I feel that sometimes the relationship with her is becoming looser. I went out with her, Jim, John and Lime lastnight. Afif came after that. As usual, I'm sure they didn't like him to be there. But nonetheless, he is still my kor kor and I DO NOT wanna lose him just because the people who hates him(which I'm not so close to), don't like him. I kind of feel that I was practically yarm charing with Afif lastnight. As for Jennifer, when she's with me alone, I tend to feel she acts different. I used to cuddle up with her and use to stay and spend much more time with her. She now act scared towards that, and feels sick with it.
Now I have a boyfriend. When I first started with my boyfriend, I talk sweet and making pampered voice with my boyfriend on the phone. She used to find that sweet but lastnight she said this 'eeeeish, stop it la. Makes me sick' I was like, what's her problem man? Jealous or what? Now I feel she don't share any sort of common stuffs with me. I can accept her friends, no problem in that but then she tend to treat me like her normal friend but what's different is, much more colder and meaner.
Sometimes I wonder, what did I do to her to deserve this shitty treatment am I getting from her? I don't need this sort of treatment. When she was ONLY with me lastnight, she was cold, and didn't really talked much. But when it get's closer to the time when we suppose to meet Jim and Jon, she started to lighten up a little. In my mind was like 'what the fuck?' I have problems with work now and she never took the effort to comfort me anymore. I felt as if she really don't care and sick of hearing me complaining about my company where we all have to care about her. You guys do realise I use a lot of 'used to here' and 'used to that'. Because she never done anything like what shed used to to with me before. I feel like she's choosing her friends and becoming my bestfriend is just a mistake she made in her life. She didn't realise that until now. She's going to melbourne for 1 week and she asked me if I'm gonna miss her. Well,'duh', OF COURSE!! But how to miss her when she didn't when I went to US? It's a little unfair. It's only a WEEK! Mine was like 3 weeks and that's what she said 'it's only 3 weeks. It's not like you ain't gonna come back what rite?" I was hurt when she said that. But now I know why she never get affected that much when I was in US because she has damn a lot of friends in her life where she don't know how to manage and neglect me. Well, I'm seriously dissapointed in her. Don't know what else to say. calls me. See ya!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Hi all, it's been quite a long time since I last updated about my life. Anyway, this is about my life again. Once again. About work again. Now, my department has been set. And I have no idea why the hell should we even shift up? I hate this place where am I now. I feel like their so many spies eyeing on me.
I don't care so much if I were to shift up but then I don't like the place where I am now. It's like 'wow' are they monitoring me or what? Especially a person, which I bloody hate. Really hate him. How long have I been keeping this shitty feeling from him already la!
Anyway, I just got a feeling that the gossip between me and Felix isn't over in this company. Still wants to blabber here and there. Well, too bad. I and Felix ain't gonna just give up like that just because of some weirdo's complaining. Like they can't accept any couples. Just because you're SINGLE!? Of course you guys are! How pathetic and childish are you guys acting!? Anyway, you want to fuck us up, you guys can go ahead and try. Breaking us up is just gonna make my patients running high and once it does, and whoever it is test my patients, things are gonna look really bad.
Animation and all the other work in Malaysia, are you guys so narrow minded? Open my ass. If you guys are open, all this shits won't be happening and things won't be so messed. Why am I fed up now? Every single angle I'm looking at now, and whatever is happening in this company, the results are shown that me and Felix needs to be apart. And LIKE REAAAAALLLLLLYYYYYYYY APART! Why wanna fucking do that? Who are you guys to determine my soulmate? I have a carreer and a relationship to hang onto. Why will I be so stupid to abandon my work just because I have a lover? That's like so stupid. But of course, if forcing us to split in this indirect way is a method to make you happy and make everyone happy and to boost up the speed of your work, I can tell you, it's not gonna work and it's gonna be the opposite.
Me and Felix will be down, moody, angry, sad and lots more. That equals up to the work will have a bad quality and there won't be any healthy environment of working together as a team already. Like all I can ever say now is..............ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!