Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Sometimes in life. And promises. Things are really meant to be broken huh?
My bestfriend promised me that she will never change once she found her true love or should I say boyfriend. We mader a promise together. Lastime I have this bestfriend of mine and she's so boyfriend type. Everything is boyfriend here and boyfriend there. When she have a boyfriend, she can't leave without him for a day.
I feel so disspointed in a way which is, first, I don't like top see mushy stuff in front of my eyes when I have no boyfriend beside me. If I have a boyfriend beside me, I don't care if you want to be mushy. It is kinda rude to act so lovey dovey in front of a person whom is heartbroken plus his/her boyfriend/girlfriend is not there. I and her ended up in a very terrible situation after that. She went overboard. That was a long time ago. And when I was working, recently, I do have a bestfriend also. And this is even worst. Everyday, she must be with the boyfriend, and she can't leave her boyfriend even for one second.
I thought I could find one bestfriend who won't be so crazy over guys not even her own boyfriend. I thought I did. Like I said up there, we did made a promise. ANd she did show me a lot of ways that she's not interested in guys as much as I am. But little do I know is that, she's jsut the same as other girls when it comes to being with the boyfriend.
I always asked her to go find her own boyfriend because I don't want to see her alone. As in, I can't forever take care of her. If I'm not around, I need her boyfriend to company her. But I didn't mean that if she do have a boyfriend, she will lessen seeing me. Now she is showing me one kind of strange way. Her so called lover is back here and she is treating me differently. Not yet but I can see that she is starting to change.
I just fought with her this evening and she told me she teared a bit. Well, I don't know whether is that true or not. I feel guilty in a way but at the same time she shouldn't have treated me like that. She went and send a message to my boyfriend and tell him that her lover is back this week and asked him to treat me better. As if she can't take care of me just because of her stupid lover is here. I have no idea what's that message meant but when I was arguing with her on the phone she has no idea why she send that message either so that's why I'm pissed off.
Anyway, I kind of missed her. So many days living here without her is just boring. But still I don't wanna know how will she act once she comes back here because her lover is here. Sigh. I'm just so pissed off plus jealous. I known her for like 3 years or more than that and some guy who only knows her lesser years than me gets her loyalty like shit. Aaahhh, fuck it la!!!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Chinese New Year! :(

Hey guys. Yay! Chinese New Year. Is Gong Xi Fa Cai to everyone. But you wanna know something? I'm not really happy. Every Chinese New Year is just the same old thing. Celebrating reunion dinner with my aunties and uncles. But this year and last year was just aunty and uncle. And what I hate is, that they keep on complaining about the food.
I mean, shut the fuck up and just coem for the reunion. If you wanna complain so much, then why not have the reunion in your house and see how weel you can prepare.
I don't usually go anywhere for Chinese New Year. Just stay in the house until one or two days is over. I wish this year is gonna be different. I wish this year will be not so boring and everything is fine. Well, something is wrong with my health. Not too sure. Hope I will be better soon. Anyway, gotta type off now. See ya and love you guys. Muacks! Adios!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Hi guys. Just came back froM Bangkok company trip.

Hi guys. Just only back frmo Bangkok trip on a company trip. Well, looks like after that trip, people are talking to me more. Good. That's the last thing I need from that company.
I don't know. It's aCTUALLY kind of weird, but what the hell la.
The girl that I thought would never talk to me, is actually talking to me. My leader is talking to me more. Hmm, now I just have to work on my stupid working quality skills. Well, I have nothing to say. Just wanna say that maybe working life is going my way. But my relationship with Afif is not. As always. Nothing is changing. Sigh. Sad life I and him are facing. I wish he could be like Alex. The afif I knew back then is Alex.

Human Changes Episode 4

Julia thinking: Sigh. Is still long. Come on. Quickly pass by.
It was 12.30 p.m on Thursday morning and Julia can't wait till break to see Alex.
Julia thinking: Why the hell do I even want it gto pass by so quickly? I do not love Alex right? Right. But...how come am I always thinking about him? Argh. This is stupid. I do love him before. But that was long ago.
Suddenly a figure came in.
Julia thinking: Oh. A customer.
Julia: Wel..
Julia thinking: What?
It was Alex.
Julia thinking: W-what..is...he doing here?
Julia: Hey.
Alex went to her at the counter.
Alex: Hey.
Julia: What..are you doing here?
Alex: Came to see you.
Julia: Um..for?
Alex: Nothing. For fun.
Julia: Oooookay.
Alex: Why? I can't do that?
Julia: No, you can do that, It's just..um..nevermind.
Julia thinking: My heart is beating quickly.
Alex was looking around. And then he spotted a few toys.
Alex: What does this do?
Julia look at his direction that he was pointing to and went there and explain.
Julia: Well, this is a robot. It listens to your command by a remote. Here. I'll show you.
Then Julia took out the remote from the cashers drawer.
Alex: Wow. That is one cool looking remote.
Julia: Here. Let me show you a demonstration.
So Julia showed Alex.
Alex: That is really really cool. I bet it is costly.
Julia: Yeah, it is. This one is RM980. That one is RM1049 and the other one is RM2000.
Alex: Well, I can't afford it.
Julia: So? Do you have work to go to?
Alex: I'm working afternoon shift.
Julia: Oh. How come you're always working afternoon shift?
Alex: I don't know.
Then Julia's phone rang.
Julia: Hold on.
She pick up.
Julia: Hello? ..............................oh hi bie....................Nope.................yeah,........Okay.....Love you too...Bye.
Then she put down the phone.
Alex: Your boyfriend?
Julia: Yeap. You know him well too.
Alex: Huh?
Julia: It's Jason.
Alex shout: What!? Jason of all people?
Julia:What is wrong?
Jason: No..it's just unexpected.
Julia: I know..but he did save me from a total breakdown before and I thought if a guy can bring me back to life in a total big breakdown, he might be the one.
Alex:Is he?
Then Julia look at Alex's face. Alex was also looking at her. Their eyes were lock on to each others. Then Julia quickly turn away.
Julia: I don't know. Maybe.
Then they both never talk. Then Alex said...
Alex: Well, I wouldn't wanna bother you, I think I should start to get going.
Julia: Okay. See ya.
Alex: See ya at lunch time.
Julia: Yeah.
Then Alex went off from Julia's shop.
Julia thinking: OH no. He looked a me. Our eyes were locked on to each other and I swear he likes me too.
Back at Alex's side.
Alex thinking: I didn't realise how cute she was. I did liked her back in college before. And just now when our eyes were locked onto each other, I felt this feeling at my heart beating faster and faster. What is this that I'm feeling? Love?
At lunch time which was 3.oo p.m.
Julia went out and went to Padini to go find Alex.
Julia: Hey Alex.
Alex: Hey.
Julia: Ready to go to lunch?
Alex: Actually, my lunch is at 5.00 so I can't go now.
Julia: Oh.
A;ex: I'm sorry. Tomorrow I'll go with you okay?
Julia: Well, Anything. Bye.
Alex: Hey Jules.
Julia turn.
Julia: Yes?
Alex: I'm really really sorry.
Julia: Don't worry. I'm fine.
Alex: I'll conme and see you later.
Julia: Okay.
Alex: Bye.
Julia: Bye.
Then Julia walk off.
Julia thinking: Okay. I'm sad. Why am I sad? Julia, this is crazy. Your boyfriend is Jason, JASON.Not Alex. Alex is just an old flame.
Then at 5.10, p.m Julia was sitting in front of the computer playing some random online games.
Julia thinking: I should have known. Who am I kidding? I don't even mean so important to him. He won't even bother to come here.
Then suddenly Alex came. Julia saw.
Julia thinking: It's him. He's here. He really came.
Julia was smilling excitedly. Her heart was pumping pretty hard at the same time.
Alex: Sorry about earlier. It's really hectic back there. Can you like go out for awhile?
Julia: Um...
Julia look at Wendy.
Wendy: Go ahead. I'll cover up for you.
Julia smile at her.
Julia: You're the best.
Wendy: Hey. I'll be doing the same thing too. And you have to back up for me.
Julia: Alright, alright. See ya later.
So she went out with Alex to Burger King.
Julia: I don't like Burger King.
Alex: Why?
Julia: I just don't like burgers. They don't make me full.
Alex: But now you're not eating right?
Julia: Nope.
Alex: Okay.
Then they talk happily and laughing hardly. After that Alex said...
Alex: Um...Jules, can I ask you something personal?
Julia: What is it?
Alex: Um...Jason is your number what boyfriend?
Julia: Um..let's see...1...5..errr..
Alex: Oh my God. How many boyfriends do you even have?
Julia: Hold on...6..7...ah....number 9th. Why?
Alex: Nothing...um...
Alex thinking: Just say it.
Julia: Oh..okay.
Alex: No..therE is actually something..Um..you know I liked you back in college right?
Julia: Yeah.
Alex: Did you like me back then?
Julia: Yeah.
Alex: Really?
Julia: Yeap. But I thought you didn't because when people making fun at us, you feel embarass so I thought you didn't like me.
Alex: Can I be your number 10th?
There was a moment of silence.
Julia thinking: Did my ear deceived me? Did I heard correctly?
Julia: Pardon?
Alex: Ahem. Can...um...I be your number 10th?
Set By
- Jessica Tan -

Monday, January 12, 2009

Human Changes Episode 3

It was after lunch. Julia came back to her work station still pondering why did Alex hugged her. She went to the computer and stare at ti for a few monintes. Customer came in, Julia didn't even realise. All she could think of is that hug.
Julia thinking: Ah,why am I thinking so much? It was just a hug and I already have a boyfriend. It was just a friendly long time no see hug. Yeah. Thats probably it.....or....is it something else?
Voice: Helllo? Excuse me?
Julia: Huh? Oh: Hello.
Bitchy Girl: I've been calling you several times.
Julia: Oh, I'm sorry. Can I help you?
Bitchy Girl: Yes you can. Just pay more atttention nextime. That's all.
Then she just walk out with her friends.
Julia thinking: Hmph. Bitch.
Well, after that, time passes by. Julia took her bag and waved bye to her friend. When she was near the entrance, she nearly knocked into someone.
Julia: Woah. I'm s-...
Julia thinking: Alex?
Alex: Hahaha. Hey. Just finish work?
Julia: Yeah, I'm about to leave actually.
Alex: Oh, cool. Wanna have dinner with me?
Julia: Oh..um..I'd love to but um..you see I can't
Alex: Why not?
Julia: Because,it's um,...it's like this. If I wanna go dinner or lunch with my friends, I need to tell my dad earlier first. So...Sorry. How about tomorrow?
Alex: Tomorrow sounds great.
Julia: Cool. Then, we'll be eating together at lunch and dinner.
Alex: Yeap. Want me to walk you to where you're suppose to wait?
Julia: Oh...no. It's alright. I can go by myself.
Alex: Come on. I'll walk with you.
Julia: Don't you have work to do?
Alex: Well, yeah, but I just wanna take a break. So boring there.
Julia: Hahaha. But its still work. Don't do the same mistake like you did back then in college okay? Working life is so different.
Alex: Sounds like you experienced a lot.
Julia: Actually. Yeah I did.
Then they reach to their destination.
Julia: Well, you can go back to work now.
Alex: It's alright. I'll wait until your dad comes.
Julia: Um..no,..I think it's best if you just go.
Alex: Why? Your dad has a problem with me?
Julia: No. He doesn't really know who you are. He might ask. And I'm just lazy enough to answer him now.
Alex: Well, today is your unluckyday then.
Julia: Why?
When Julia turn, a kancil stops at the side. Alex pass her back her bag.
Alex: See ya tomorrow.
Julia: Yeah. Bye.
She waved, Alex waved back. And he walk off. Julia went in the car.
Julia's dad: Who was that?
Julia:Oh..college friend.
Julia's friend: He's working here too?
Julia: Yes, but not same shop.
That night before Julia went to sleep, he told her boyfriend about Alex.
Jason: He is?
Julia: Yea. And I'm not too sure about this but he changed a lot.
Jason: Um...I don't think you should judge first.
Julia: No, really. He is like a gentleman now.
Jason: Well, maybe for you.
Julia: Are you jealous or something?
Jason: Of course not. Why would I wanna get jealous over a small thing. I'm just asking you to be careful.
Julia: I will. Alright, it's getting late. Have to go to sleep.
Jason:Alright. Love you bie.
Julia: Love you too.
Jason: Miss you bie.
Julia: Miss you too.
Jason: Muack.
Julia: Muacks.
Jason: Huggies.
Julia: Huggies.
Jason: Goodnight.
Julia: Goodnight.
Then they hung up.
Julia thinking: Funny. I feel like I'm missing someone but not Jason. Could it be? Oh no...plus this feeling...Its like I cam't wait to see him tomorrow.
Set By
- Jessica Tan -

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Hell weekend.

Hi guys. How many of you got issues of going out late and how many of you got issues in going out yarm char everynight? It doesn't hurt. Well, even you start to work and you know, it still doesn't hurt. I don't know why my bestfriend needs to make a big fuss about it. And you know what's the worst thing, she wants to cut down lesser time on going out yarm char.
Sometimes I feel like she don't really care about going out with me. Like her health is more important. Well, yeah, but it doesn't hurt to go out right? And we don't even just go out and have a drink like 2-3 hours. The max is like 45 minutes. OR maybe 1 hour only. We don't go more than that and she sometimes complains. I just don't understand. I asking her to go out and she makes a complaint.
And when I tell her she is like the goody goody type, she get's frustrated and shows a black face. And I can tell you that black face, I hate to see it. If she thinks whatever she gonna do like spending lesser time with me is right, then go ahead.
The other hell thing is Afif. He didn't spend time with me at all this whole weekend because on Sat he got this stupid gig of his and then on Sunday, he promised to go out with me and then suddenly, today he said he got this stupid meeting and all. Again band. Fuck him la. It is like he don't want to go out with me purposely. Fuck him man. Really. I really hate his stupid fucking attitude. Anyway, I'm gonna go watch football now. So see ya.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Human Changes( EP.2)

Julia: Hi. Yes, may I help you?
Customer: Nope. It’s okay. Just looking around.
Julia: Sure. No problem. I’ll be at the counter if you need anything.

It was a Friday morning at 11.30 a.m. Julia was alone at the shop working. But at the same time she was also chatting with her bestfriend online.
Julia’s MSN: Hi. Back.
Bestfriend’s MSN: Any luck in sales today?
Julia’s MSN: Nope. Not a single customer is buying anything. There’s a customer inside the shop now but from the looks of it, she’s just another one of the customers that goes in and out without buying anything.
Bestfriend’s MSN: Aww, don’t worry about it. There will be at the end of the day you’ll see.
Julia’s MSN: Hopefully..oh and Joyce, our promise to work together is still there in your heart right?
Joyce MSN: Of course. I will never forget that okay?
Julia’s MSN: Phew..I’m relief to hear that.
Then her boss came in.
Julia thinking: Shit.
Julia’s MSN: Have to go now sweety. Chat later. Boss here.
Without waiting for Joyce to reply, she turn off the MSN.
Boss: How’s everything?
Julia: Good, good.
Boss: No sales yet?
Julia: Nope.
Boss: Damn. You know…you should try to talk to the customers. Make some sales. Do you have any experience in promoting stuffs before?
Julia: Errr..no. So I don’t really know how but I will try.
Boss: Good. I’ll be at the usual place if there’s anything. And um….can u please put the phone line to the other phone line? I wanna use it. Thanks.
Julia: Yeah. Sure thing.
Julia thinking: And now I surf the internet anymore. Damn.
Whenever the boss uses the other line for himself, Julia and her collogues can’t get to go online. So she just sit there waiting. And then her friend afternoon shift whose name is Wendy came and thank God Julia and Wendy can get along. Then her lunch break came and she sms Alex.
Julia’s sms: You here?
Alex sms: Yes, come to the first floor at Clark’s. I’m working there. It’s a shoe shop.
Julia’sms: Okay.
So she went there and she saw Alex.
Julia: Alex.
Alex turn.
Julia thinking:
Hmm..no changes. Still the same look.
Alex: Hey. Long time no see huh?
Julia: Yeah. So..you’re working here?
Alex; Nope. I once worked here but not anymore. Just came to see couple of my friends.
Julia: So in the sms you said you were working here. Where?
Alex: In PADINI.
Julia: Ahh. I see. So….I’m on break now. And I don’t want to waste anytime before my break ends.
Alex: Alright. So where do you wanna eat?
Julia: Anywhere that is cheap.
Alex: Ahh. I know. Jeti.
Julia: Jeti?
Alex: I always eat there. Especially if you want to find cheap food but um…it is not exactly cheap but cheaper than inside. So wanna eat there?
Julia” What do they have?
Alex; Well, fried rice? Hm..Can’t really remember, Why not we go there and take a look?
Julia: Alright.
So they went to Jeti. They order their food and talk a lot.
Julia: Hahaha. You know, I really missed talking to you. You kinda..um….change.
Alex: Change?
Alex: In what way?
Julia: Well, as I remember back in college, you love to tease people and all. And you also love to criticize people’s work. And not only that. You also loves to play around.
Alex: Probably, I was childish back then. Well, I’m all grown up now. I change did I?
Julia: Well, hopefully you’ll stay this way.
After they eat…
Julia: Well, I’m off. So, we’ll meet again tomorrow Okay?
Alex: Yes. Sure.
Then Julia saw that Alex is taking out a box of cigarette from his pocket.
Julia: You’re still smoking?
Alex: Well, yes. I smoke usually when I’m overfull.
Julia: That is not an excuse to smoke.
Alex: Well, it is for me. Seriously though. I’m really full and the food can’t digest properly.
Julia: Can you please stop smoking? It is for your own good.
Alex: Yes, I’m already reducing. Now, run along now. You have work to do.
Julia was just staring at him for a couple of minutes. Then Alex went to her and hug her and said…
Alex: Okay. I listen to you. I won’t smoke that much already okay? I just need time to lessen down.
Julia: Fine. Bye.
Alex: Bye.
Then Julia walk away.
Julia thinking: Why did he even hug me? Why am I feeling all this?

Set By
-Jessica Tan -

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Human Changes (EP. 1)

Julia: Hmm? What the hell? Oh no!!!!!!! I'm gonna be late for work.
This is Julia. She is 19 years old. Just after graduating from her college. She was leaving in a very hard life. She has lost her mum due to a car accident when she was 4 years old. She has one older sister and now leaving with her dad. Her big sister hasn't graduated yet. So she is the first to graduate and work. She lost one job that she was not interested in. So now she is working as a sales assistant in a toy shop. Today is her first day of work on that job. She was late. Things really aren't looking good for her. Oh, but one thing she was thankful was that she has a boyfriend. Not a really good one anyway. Let's get back. So she grab her bun and drove off. She reach there just on time. She went in the shop.
Julia: I'm here. (Huff puff)
Her boss turn and look at her.
Julia: Um..I'm sorry if I'm a little late.
Boss:Nope. You're not late. You're just in time. Come on. I have to teach you a few things. Come here.
Julia: Okay.
Julia thinking: I need to work really really hard.
Then she work until her lunch time. After that she went for lunch. She was quite boring walking around the shopping complex, until she remembered one of her college mates is working at that same shopping complex.
Julia: But..that was a long time ago. I wonder is he still working here. Hmm...wouldn't hurt to try.
So she just sms.
Julia's sms: Hi Alex. I don't know whether do you remember me or not. I'm Julia. The one who was in the same class as you. Now I'm working in Toy shop in 1Utama. The last thing I heard was that you were also working here. So I was just wondering are you? If you are, maybe I can come visit.
Then she waited and waited. But there's no response.
Julia thinking:Hmm. Probably he's not working here anymore.
Then there was a sms back. She was so excited.
Alex's sms: Hey Julia: Long time no see. I'm still working there but not today. Tomorrow I'll be working. Bored ha? Well, we'll have lunch together tomorrow. How about that? I'm working afternoon shift. So my lunch we'll be probably be around 3.30 p.m. Is it okay?
Julia's sms: Yeah. Sure. That would be great. I'll see you tomorrow then.
Then she smile.
Julia thinking: Hmm..Probably working here isn't so bad after all. I just have to work here until my bestfriend comes back. Come on Julia. You can do this.
Set By
-Jessica Tan -

Friday, January 02, 2009

A new year 2009. Goodbye 2008 Hello 2009

Wow...Great. A new year...I wish that things in new year will turnh out great. In working place, my friends, family and health and wealth. Well, things turns out to be really shitty in working place back at 2008. I want to burn it and start again. It turn out fine for my work...Um..only a little that is.
Well, there is really one thing I would want it to change for eternity...That is my mum and Afif. Afif, I wish he could be like back then. In the year 2007. When in 2007, he used to be the only friend whom I can share problems with. At my working place, when I have problems or whnever I stayed back, or whenever I'm alone, he will always be there to accompany me. And always help me in my time of need. He stays with me overnight at my hosue just because I have to stay back coz of work. He is being a gentleman back in 2007, always telling me is up to me what do I wanna eat and where do I wanna go. Not only that, he never dares to shout at me. And this is one more thing unbelievable that he did back in 2007. He didn't smoke and he stopped for me.Career back in 2007 for him wasn't so much of deal before. So that's why he could be nice to me. And last year, especially when he turns out to be an animator, he changed a lot. A lot. And I don't see my other collouges or other couples in my working place changed their outings and their feelings towards the person they are closes with back then. They still can remain strong. In the year 2008, my relationship with Afif just fell down ther drain with a snap of a finger. He changed drastically. Not sudden but drastically. So, it is really weird plus hurting for me to went through that whole year with him.
He is not even knowing how much did he hurt me and all. When I cry, he don't even bother. He only says this 'why you always being like this?' or ' that's all you can do is it?' or ' i don noe you la ' and then just walk off. Back in the year 2007, when I cry, he used to panick and embrace me into his arms and apologise. He used to be so caring and sweet. Almost to a big brother. And that's where I thought he is one loyal guy and a person I feel secure with. But I never knew that last year, because of work, he changed. He changed department is always fine with me. But not change his feelings, his outings, his timing and his oldself. He has friends now in my working place. Lots and lots of friends. I do not have that many due to whatever happen lastime. I did try to change myself. I don't know why I still do not have that many. And the worst thing now is Afif prefers them more than me. Its like he prefers them so much until he can even cut down going outing with me, call them using his credit and didn't call me. Eat lunch with them, going dinner with them. You know, all this, he used to do that with me? Now it is like I don't feel like I'm seeing him. Maybe because I don't really talk to him much anymore because he is not close with me.
Do you know how hurting it is that everyday I have to go to work and seeing him there and showing that I'm not feeling anythign towards him?Do you know how much it hurts for not being so close witih him due to work? I don't understand why he can't see it. I don't understand why he don't feel that we are not close anymore. I really don't understand why! That's why in the year 2009, I don't want to suffer anymore. I really will go crazy if this shits keep on going on. aND whnever I try to explain this year, I don't think he gets what I meant. When 2008, is gonna end, almost every Sat, we don't usually spend time anymore. What a year huh? I'm really hurt in 2008. A lot of shits has been happening to me in 2008. I pray and hope that 2009 will be a better year for me.
As for my mum, well, due to the sms she send to me last night, I don't think she changed. She just send me an sms, asking me to lend her RM100 and just sms her back yes or no. As always. When she don't need me, there isn't any call from her. The only time her name pops out in my phone is always she asking money or asking me about my sister. I have no idea why she wants my sister. Probably asking money again. Who does she think we are? Some ATM machine? She don't even wish me on my 21st birthday. nOT onnly 21st birthday but how many years hasn't she been wishing me? It is not like we never gave her money at all. WE DID. My dad, my sis and me. We did. And we don't even earn much now. So who does she think we are? Some reach assholes who dobn't work and moeny comes to us just like that? She thinks money grow on trees? Well, it is true that she is my mum but she is not pratically doing a great job as a mum. I don't want to elaborate so much about my mum in the blog. I'm just fucking pissed that this two person in my life are no changing for the better. Well, I wannna end now. All I wish for is 2009 that Afif will be like 2007 once again and stay like that year forever and for my mum to change and call me not for money, but to tell me that she misses me and shes sorry. And mean it. Not fake. Alright, guys. hhowp you gusy have a wonderful new year. Ciao!