Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Feelings plus how sucky life can get!

Hi all. Lately haven't been really updating here. Thanks to my so called work I'm already starting to have doubts about this work I'm currently doing which is animation. Such a sad thing isn't it to have doubts about your work when you're really into that something. Well, thanks to the people there make me wanna scream at their faces.
I have feelings. Everyone has feelings. I want to be an animator but somehow they don't let me have that chance. My friend is already proceeding to be an animator. Soon he is gonna animate things and I'm still there doing clean ups which is the most MAR FARN work to do. Just imagine every week you are given 9-12 scenes to finish up and you are always doing the same old thing again. What can you possibly learn from clean up? The layering? The timing? The drawing style? Look all those, timing, drawing styles and layering, all those you can't really learn unless you take a moment to think then you might see it. Who has the time to go and see all of that? When you are already stressed up with doing the coloring, do you think you can stop and see how the way they draw, and doing researches of the timing?
And today, my friend is teaching me how to do layout, and of course no one was spoon feeding me where else my friend, he is been treated like a prince. Everything is getting ready for him there. So back to the story, my friend was teaching me a little bit on how to do the eyes just when this guy which is my leader of the stupid clean up came in and saw me doing animator's job. He stopped me from doing it and one thing i hate it is when he said this '"Jessica, don't make me marah you ar" I was like in my mind' WHAT THE FUCK?' So what? They expect me to do mt animation after work? Oh, so like I have to stay back and all just to prove to them my animation skills? I mean, like what the heck are they thinking? Do I have to stay back and do my work? I mean, come on, I already finish up your stupid bluddy scenes for clean up already la. I mena, let me move on to animation la. What's the DAMN FUCKING PROBLEM?ARGH!! I feel like smashing their heads up one by one seeing all their blood being splatted here and there.
And one more thing. The people who teach me, how the heck do they want me to do layout when I don't even know every single damn thing there? I'm new in animation, you have to teach me at least SPOON FEED ME LA FUCKERS!!! The word I'm trying to state here is the word 'FAIRNESS' How come my friend can get all the things he wants but I can't? And what makes me even more pisssed is when my leader stated this in the email ' This week, I see a lot of time, Jessica walk and talk to Allan about animation test. Until she completed or succeed in the test, Jessica you're still under my supervision. Today I also see you talking to Mario for a long period of time until I go to you and said something. So consider this a warning & good luck on the test.' What the fuck is he talking? What test? I'm not even taking any test. What the heck is he talking la?
Looks like I'm gonna be stuck in this stupid pose as a clean up artist for the rest of my life. WHY CAN'T THEY JUST LET ME GO AND MAKE ME BECOME AN ANIMATOR!!? I HATE ALL OF THEM, I HATE MY LEADER, I HATE MY BOSS, I HATE THAT PLACE. THAT PLACE IS NOT FAIR TO ME AT ALL!!! WHAT THE FUCK THEY WANT FROM ME!!!!!? LEAVE ME ALONE!! JUST LET ME BE LA!!! FUCK ALL OF THEM LA!!!!!!

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Stupid fucker!

Hey all. As you noe, when I'm not in the mood or when I really feel unhappy with someone, i will surely post it up either in a journal or watsoever right? Alright, I am dissapointed about my so called pet brother but actually I don't think he is my pet brother anymore.Well, within this few months, I have actually provide him with several things. Like money, shelter and his everyday life needs since he is already staying at my house and pays my dad RM120. (That considers fucking cheap already). And all the time when I nags him to respect things at my own way and also not to mention for his own fucking good, he don't really wants to care and all. As for all you guys noe out there, it is really a very wrong thing to do like writing a journal about this fucker but you guys knows wat? I have enough and I tink it is only fair enough to share to the whole wide world what type of life I'm living in.I'sm already kind enough not to even spread out his name out in this journal. Some people might if they really have no heart. And I of course don't mind if they did tell the name out but I wouldn't want to. Not because I care about him I just don't want my own reputation to go down. Okay, back to the story. Well, like I said, I provides him with almost everything I earn and at last, when I nag him and scold him when he get's me annoyed, who wouldn't beat him and shout bach? I mean, seriously, you're staying ay ppl's house and also you're taking ppl's transport. Are you gonna act as if ure so big and gonna just act dumb? Well, this guy doesn't appreciate everything I do for him. He doesn't even know his own doings and wrongs that he is doing and he still act proud. I wanna laugh, you know why? The moment he gets back all the money, I want him to pay me and my friend back our money. And i want him to move out and also I would love to see how he suffers out at the outside world. Because I won't be there anymore with him since he doesn't want me to be there with him so wat for? Might else well, I just you know, go far away from him and let him die. That's what he wants to. He wants to die too. From now onwards I wanna see how can he stands from the normal me being and acting as if he is not in my house. Bye people!