Saturday, November 25, 2006

Love Story Chapter 82

The next day at college, Kirsten was at her locker. Putting her bag inside when Zoey came by.
Zoey: Good morning!
Kirsten: Good morning.
Zoey observe Kirsten's face.
Zoey thinking: Something is definitely bothering her.
Zoey: Alright. Spit it out now.
Kirsten; Something is bothering ya isn't it?
Kirsten; Oh yeah. I want to ask you something.
She close her locker, turn to Zoey and start asking.
Kirsten: You knew all along that Johnathan likes me?
Zoey thinking: Ooooh okay. How the heck does she even knows that?
Zoey: Um...well. Sort of.
Kirsten: And you never tell me?
Zoey: Well, what's the poing in tellin you? Your feelings and your mind is all towards Cal anyway.
Kirsten: Me and Cal just broke up yesterday.
Zoey: What? What happened? Wait a minute. You broke up with Cal and you never tell me till now. Wow. How did you even stand the pain? Why didn't you call me up yesterday?
Kirsten: I went to Johnathan's house yesterday.
Zoey thinking: She what?
Zoey: You what?
Kirsten: I went to Johnathan's house.
Zoey: You went to my boyfriend's house?
Kirsten stop talking and look at Zoey's face.
Kirsten: What? Uh, don't tell me that you're jealous.
Zoey: I'm not.
Kirsten: Then what's that big reaction you're showing to me now?
Zoey: I'm not showing anything to you.
Kirsten: Whatever Zoey. But, I just ended up in front of Johnathan's house just like that after I broke up with Cal okay? It's not biggie.
Then suddenly, Johnathan came.
Johnathan: Hey girls.
Zoey: Oh hi baby.
Johnathan: Oh hi.
Then Zoey and Johnathan kissed on the lips.
Kirsten: Hi.
Johnathan: You okay?
Kirsten: Yeah, I'm fine. Oh...I almost forgot.
Kirsten open her locker and then took out Johnathan's shirt that she borrowed yesterday.
Kirsten: Here. Thanks again.
Johnathan: No problem.
Zoey: Aren't that your clothes? What? You change into his clothes?
Johnathan: Looks like she didn't tell you. Kirsten was wet yesterday after walking in the rain so I borrowed her mine since she was nearby my place.
Zoey: Okay. Whatever. it just me or aren't you two getting much more closer? I mean, I'm her bestfriend. She suppose to come to me instead of you. are my boyfriend. You should be lending me your clothes instead of her. Argh, I'm outta here.
Then Zoey just stormed off.
Johnathan: Hey Zoey.
Kirsten: Just go. I'll catch up with you guys later.
Johnathan: You sure you're okay?
Kirsten" I'm fine. You better go before you regret.
Johnathan: Alright, alright. See ya later.
Then Johnathan went off. When he went off, Kirsten was stun for awhile. He saw Cal standing in front of her. She quickly close her locker and wanted to walk away when Cal grab her hand.
Kirsten: What do you want? Let go of me.
Cal: Kisten, I want to be your friend.
Kirsten turn and look at Cal and said...
Kirsten: You can go and dream if you think that I will be your friend. You don't even need any right? You have your Jamie to keep you company.
Kirsten struggle and then Cal's hand was swang away.
Kirsten: You don't even need me in the first place. I told you I hate you mean I hate you.
Kirsten quickly run away after she said that. Of course there were tears running down her cheek. After school, Zoey gotta stay back in college for some activity she has sign up. So Kirsten and Johnathan walk back to Johnathan's house. They were in Johnathan's house. Kirsten was waiting for Johnathan downstairs while Johnathan was changing upstairs. Kirsten saw pictures of him with someone in a wedding gown.
Kirsten thinking: Could this be....?
Then Johnathan came down and saw Kirsten was looking at his picture with Jamie.
Johnathan: That's Jamie.
Then Kirsten quickly turn and saw Johnathan.
Kirsten; Oh....I'm sorry. You frightened me.
Johnathan: Opps. Sorry.
Kirsten: So this is Jamie?
Johnathan: Yup.
Kirsten: She...she do look like me in a way.
Kirsten thinking: Hmm. Maybe that's is why Cal loves her and always remembers her when he sees me.
Johnathan : She has the same personality as you.
Johnathan then saw Kirsten's face grew ever more sad. Kirsten took out a picture she and Cal took.
Kirsten: Johnathan?
Johnathan: Yes?
Kirsten: this and Cal....we do look happy right?
Johnathan: Of course.
Kirsten: I'm so glad. This is the first picture that I and him took. I don't even have any of his pictures with me. This is the first picture I got. And this is the only picture that I'm gonna have that have him inside standing beside me. (Sniff)
Johnathan thinking: Oh no. Don't tell me she is gonna cry.
Kirsten: Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't talk about this.
Johnathan: Listen, Zoey has already finish her practice. And she told me that she is gonna hang out with some of her friends. Why not you hang out with her? I have some things to do. I can't company you.
Kirsten: Okay.
Johnathan: I'll call her.
Then after that, Zoey came with her friends to pick up Kirsten. As soon as they leave, Johnathan quickly snatch his jacket and took a taxi to Cal's house. Then he reach at Cal's house. He bang on Cal's door.
Johnathan shout: Cal! Open up! I need to talk to you!
Cal came out alright.
Cal: Hey Johnathan. You don't need to ba-...
Then Johnathan grab Cal's collar and then shouted...
Johnathan shout: What the hell do you think you're doing?! I told you not to hurt Kirsten did I?!
Cal: you notice. Isn't it good? You can be with her now.
Johnathan shout: For pet sakes, I'm with Zoey now and I would not hurt her again!
Cal shout: Look here! She chose to be with me. Not me! So i fshe's hurt is her bussiness!
Johnathan: What?
Johnathan shout: How the fuck can you even say that shit?! You hurt her and you still can talk dirt to me?!
Cal: If you care about her so much, then be with her.
Cal slap Johnathan's hand away from his collar and walk inside his house. Johnathan went in.
Johnathan shout: I wish I could dumbass, but I 'm with Zoey! I've hurt Zoey many times and...
Cal: You're right.
Johnathan: Huh?
Cal stop walking and say in a soft voice...
Cal: I am a dumbass. Isn't it funny? This is just the way we fought back then when Jamie was alive.
Johnathan: Cal. It is really time to move on.
Cal turn to Johnathan and said...
Cal: Maybe to you it is me...I can't do it.
Back at Zoey and Kirsten. They were walking at the walkside to the shopping mall. Zoey's friends walk first..Zoey saw Kirsten was stopping at a wedding gown shop.
Zoey's friends: Hey Zoey. Coming?
Zoey: guys go ahead. I'll meet you at the entrance.
Then they went off. Zoey went to the shop where Kirsten was staring at.
Zoey: Hey.
Kirsten; Oh, I'm sorry.
Zoey: Hey, no problem. I just wanted to apologise on what I did earlier this morning.
Kirsten: Oh. It's okay. I forgotten about it anyway.
Zoey: Common, lets go and make you forget about that jerk.
Kirsten smile. She was holding that piece of photo where she and Cal took picture. Then she wanted to keep in her pocket when it sliped through her hand. It landed on the road. She quickly pick it up without looking left and right. At the same time, there was a car speeding and saw Kirsten. It could not brake in time. Zoey saw and was screaming...
Zoey shout: Kirsten! Look out!
Kirsten: Huh?
Boom! CRASH! Back at Cal and Johnathan. They were still arguing.
Johnathan Who said it was easy for me?
Johnathan shout: It wasn't easy for me dammit!
Cal: Whatever dude. I'm not in the mood to argue with you.
Johnathan shout: Neither do I! But you are getting on my nervs!
Cal: I'm not getting on anyones nervs. You're just sensitive.
Johnathan shout: I'm not! I just think that you're not being fair to Kirsten!
Cal shout: So?! Yes, I'm a jerk. I'm an asshole. I'm a fucked up Jerk! Happy?!
Johnathan kept quiet.
Cal shout: I tried! I tried to love her for who she is dammit! I really tried!
Then Cal said in a soft voice.
Cal: But....but I can't. I'm just too weak I guess. I'm just to weak. I can't even do this thing.
Then....Johnathan's handphone rang.
Johnathan: Hello? Oh hi Zoey.
Johnathan shout: What?!
Cal look at him. He felt something bad.
Johnathan: Which hospital?
Cal thinking: Hospital? Why is there a hospital word?
Johnathan: I'll be right there.
Johnathan hang up.
Cal: What is it? What happened to Zoey?
Johnathan: After I tell you this, I'm sure you are gonna take back all your sentence you just said about Kirsten. And nothing happened to Zoey. But Kirsten...She's....she's...
Cal shout: What?!
Cal grab Johnathan's shirt.
Cal shout: Tell me!
Johnathan shout: Let go of me!
Johnathan She's in the hospital. She had an accident. A car knocked her.
Cal was stun for a moment. For an instance there, he felt that he can't breathe and think clearly.
Cal thinking: What? She had an accident? Hospital? This is like Jamie again. No, please don't die Kirsten. No!
Johnathan shout: Common Cal! Quick!
Cal: We'll take my car. Let's go.
Sey By
- Jessica Tan -

Genting. Coming soon. Woo hoo!~

Hi all. Guess what? Me, Reney, Jennifer and my kor kor. 4 of us will be going to Genting. On monday. I'm excited plus also not excited. Excited because of all the fun we are gonna do there. But the other part is because I'm scared that Reney will drag me to play al the rides which of course I'm afraid. Got phobia will all this rides man. ARGH!. Anyway, I'll update more once I come back. Bye all.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Love Story Chapter 81

Johnathan: Broke up?
Kirsten nod her head. Johnathan look at her and realise that she really is upset seeing her so wet and all is obvious.
Johnathan: Come in. We need to get you into dry clothes.
Not long after that, Kirsten took a shower in Johnathan's house. Then she change into Johnathan's clothes. Then she sat down on the couch. Johnathan took a cup of warm water to her and handed it to Kirsten. Kirsten took it.
Kirsten: Thanks.
Johnathan sat next to her.
Johnathan: So..what happened?
Kirsten: Um...
Johnathan: You don't need to tell me if you don't want to.
Kirsten: No....I'm just....kind of blur. I actually don't even know what happened.
Johnathan: Huh?
Kirsten: He still loves her.
Johnathan: Her? You mean Jamie?
Kirsten; Yes. Maybe he is right. Maybe in his heart is only Jamie forever.
Johnathan: How do you know that he still loves her?
Kirsten: I saw that he is writing love letters to Jamie. It is as if Jamie is with him. And also I saw him building sentence with seashells saying that "Cal love Jamie forever".
Johnathan: With seashells? Wow. That will take a few hours.
Kirsten: That's the reason why he can't go out with me all the time. It seems that he was actually spending time with Jamie and doing all those stuff.
Johnathan: Oh, i get it. So you're upset because he loves someone who is already not here instead of someone is alive right?
Kirsten:Partly. But the other part is that I failed to save him. I want him to move on with his life. But I failed to do so.
Johnathan: Listen, it is not your fault. Really. Look, I know whatever I say right now is not gonna make Cal come back and all. But then you really should find someone else. I mean, I know Cal and I know how much that Jamie means to him. He is not gonna forget her just with a snap of a finger. I'm so sure of that.
Kirsten: How did you manage to do that then?
Johnathan kept quiet for awhile then he begin talking.
Johnathan: Well, I learn that Jamie isn't gonna come back to me and besides I did tell Jamie so many times how much I loved her. I mean, I never really did forget about her. She is still in my heart no matter what. It is just that I have to move on. The past is long gone. But I understand Cal. He could not move on because he regreted so much that he never told Jamie that he loved her. Even something so simple he could not do that is why up till now he could not move on.
Kirsten: But, isn't that such a pity?
Johnathan: The only person who can save him, is himself. I just hope that one day he will find out by himself.
Kirsten: Hopefully.
Johnathan was observing Kirsten's face.
Johnathan thinking: Hmm, she look so sad.
Johnathan: Hey, wanna do something fun?
Kirsten: Like what?
Johnathan: Common, I'll take you the arcade.
Kirsten: Arcade? I don't like to go to the arcade.
Johnathan: Aw, common, it is gonna be fun I promise.
Kirsten: No, I just don't feel like going now.
Johnathan: That's the point. If you stay here, you are just gonna be thinking about Cal and that is gonna make you feel even more sad wherelse if you go to the arcade, is different. Common.
I promise, it is gonna be fun.
After for awhile, she smile and took Johnathan's hand and they went off. Not long after that, they were playing some games and Kirsten was all happy again. Johnathan realise that she was having a great time. After arcade, Johnathan brought her to eat dinner and after that send her home.
Kirsten: I had a great time tonight. Thank you for everything.
Johnathan: No problem.
Kirsten: I'll see you in college then.
Johnathan: Okay.
Kirsten went down the car. Johnathan open his car door and said...
Johnathan: Erm....Kirsten?
Kirsten turn and face Johnathan.
Kirsten: Yes?
Johnathan: Um...
Johnathan thinking: Common, don't be a chicken. Just tell her.
Johnathan: There's...something...I've got to .....tell you.
Kirsten: Okay. What is it?
Johnathan: I know that...Cal always treat you as Jamie because you have the same personality as hers
Kirsten: What is it Johnathan?
Johnathan: I have feeling for you.
Johnathan thinking: There..I said it. Is that hard?
Kirsten: What?
Johnathan: I know..I know you'll find it weird but...
Kirsten: I don't find it weird but I find it annoying. How could you do this to my bestfriend?
Johnathan: She knows that I liked you. She knew it all along. I go with her because I know that I will never have the chance to be with someoenE I love.
Kirsten: So you are just playing with her feelings?
Johnathan: No. I will never do that. Kirsten...the reason I like because you are you. I like you is because of who you are not because you are like Jamie. Cal loves you because you are like Jamie that is why he can't lie to you anymore.
Kirsten: Why are you telling me this? What you want me to do now? Be couples with you?
Johnathan pause for a moment.Then he said...
Johnathan: No. I don't want anything from you. I just need to tell you before it is too late. Zoey is with me now and do not worry. I won't hurt her. And, the truth is, I love you yourself. Goodnight.
Then he went in the car and went off leaving Kirsten there still wondering what had actually happened.
Kirsten thinking: Okay, this day is starting to turn out to be a suckie day.
Kirsten went inside her house. At 1.05 a.m, she was on her bed. She can't sleep after what Johnathan had said to her.
Kirsten thinking: No one had ever tell me that they love me for who I am. Johnathan is the first. Sigh, why is this happening? But anyway, I should forget about it. He is with Zoey and he said he wil never hurt her. I hope he keep his word. But...Zoey knew this all along. I need to ask her tomorrow.
Set By
- Jessica Tan -

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Love Story Chapter 80

Kirsten came out of her hiding place. Johnathan saw her of course.
Johnathan: Huh? Kirsten? She's here too? I thought you might came alone.
Zoey: Well, I was sorta scared so I asked Kirsten to you know, follow me just in case.
Kirsten: Wow, I didn't know you were romantic Johnathan.
Johnathan: Err, well, I don't usually do this. It's just that I made her angry and hurt her several times so I thought the best way is by you know, doing this.
Zoey: Thank you Johnathan. I love you so much.
Johnathan walk nearer to her. And hold her hand.
Johnathan: Zoey, I'm so sorry for what I've done. I never realise how important am I to you and I'm always hurting your feelings. Will you forgive me?
Zoey nodded her head and they hug. Kirsten was standing there looking at them.
Kirsten thinking:
Hmm, I wish Cal can be more like Johnathan.
Then Johnathan realise that Kirsten was standing looking at them.He stop hugging Zoey.
Johnathan: I'm sorry Kirsten. We didn't mean too....
Kirsten: Oh, it's okay. I'm gonna go anyway to see Cal. You guys go ahead.
Zoey: You sure? I can company you if you want.
Kirsten: No, it's okay. Don't worry about me. See ya.
Without waiting for their reply, she quickly went off.
Johnathan: Do you think that she's okay?
Zoey: Why? Worried about her?
Johnathan: Um...yeah, I am. know what kind of worry don't you? You're not going to be jealous of your bestfriend right?
Zoey: Yeah, yeah. Let's go. Nice flowers by the way.
At Kirsten, she was walking home but instead she wanted to see Cal that badly.
Kirsten thinking:
Hmm, Cal is always busy after school this few days. Wonder what is he doing.Well, if he is not free to come and see me, why not I'll go to see him then.
Then she went to his house. When she reach there, she knock on the door. Cal open up the door.

Cal: Kirsten. What. What are you doing here?

Kirsten: Nothing dear. I just thought you know, you always are busy nowadays, so I was just wondering and see if I could you know come over instead of you coming over. That way, we stil can see each other.

Cal: But, I'm busy.

Kirsten: I won't disturb you. I promise.

Cal: But Kirsten, we can't stay in my house.

Kirsten: Why not?

Cal: Because....nevermind. Just wait here okay? I'll be right back.

Kirsten: Okay.

Not long aafter that, Cal came back.

Cal: Alright, common let's go out.

Kirsten; But you are busy aren't you?

Cal: Well, I can do that later. Common.

Cal wanted to go when Cal's mum called after him.

Cal's Mum: Cal. Could you come over for a minute?

Cal: Okay.

Cal turn to Kirsten and said...

Cal: One moment.

Kirsten: Take your time.

Then Cal went inside the kitchen. Kirsten was so bored. She went upstairs and into Cal's room.

Kirsten thinking: Hmm, so this is his room. I've never been in his room before.

Then Kirsten saw his diary on his table. She went and touch it but didn't open it. Then suddenly, a paper fell down from the table. She pick it up and then she saw something that caught her eye.

Kirsten: To Jamie?

Without thinking twice, she read the paper. More like a letter. She says...

Letter: Hi Jamie. I know that you're not here. But I always keep on thinking about you. Yeah, I know that you see me from heaven and see me that I'm in love with Kirsten...but to tell you the truth, I don't love her. I have never loved her all this while. I kissed her and all is because she reminds me so much like you and I....I could not forget you if I'm with her. I know that's what you want me to do. Forget about you or move on but how can I? Jamie, please, come back to me.

After reading that, Kirsten felt so hurt. She saw again another piece of paper. She read it...It says...

Letter: Jamie, it's me again. How are you? I saw you yesterday in my dream. I dreamt that you and I married. I know that you and I never had the chance to tell you how much actually we both love each other. Jamie, today Kirsten asked me out but I rejected because I wanna be with you. And to tell you the truth, I don't wanna be with her anymore. I just wannt be with you no matter what. I wanna marry you. Where are you? How come that I don't see you anymore? How come you don't talk to me? Jamie, everyone says that you are gone far far away from here even Johnathan says that. He is moving on just like what you told him to do. I don't know how the hell he do that but as for me, I can't. I can't forget you. Jamie, I'm so hurt. I don't want to hurt Kirsten anymore. I can't lie to her and to myself. I can't just take it. Each and everytime we go out, it is just not the same with you. I love hanging out with you more. Jamie, please, please come back into my arms Jamie. I need you. I don't need anyone. I just need you. Kirsten and I are nothing. Please come back. I'm going to tell Kirsten that I and her are not gonna be together. I don't wanna hurt her so I will break up with her. She deserve better. I love you Jamie. I love you so much until I even built our name with sea shells in my closet. Can't you see that I love and regret so much not doing this when you're here? Please Jamie. I love you. Come back.

Kirsten thinking: Sea shells? Closet?

Then she went and open Cal's closet. And there it was. A sentence saying " Cal love Jamie forever" and it was all done in sea shells.

Kirsten thinking: He must have spent hours doing this. Is that why he is always busy? I mean, how could he do this to me? He didn't love me at all. This...this is not real.

Then Cal came in and saw Kirsten in his room.

Cal: What are you doing?

Kirsten was shocked and turn to face Cal. Cal saw that she was holding a piece of paper.

Cal: What? Why did you came into my room.

And then Cal went to her and snatch the paper away from her. When he was inside, he saw that Kirsten found out everything becaus he saw that his closet was open.

Cal: I told you to wait downstairs didn't I?

Kirsten: Why? So you could hide this from me?

Cal: I'm not gonna hide it. I was about to tell you.

Kirsten: Yeah. When? When I'm really into you and so devoted to you then only you will tell me?

Cal: I don't know when but I'm so sure I will. Haven't you read the letter already?

Kirsten: Of course. Of course I read the letter. And I so wished I didn't. But somehow now I wish I did and I really did. What? You think I'm just a toy don't you. Fooling around with my feelings. For pet sakes, I'm not Jamie. I am me.

Cal: What? Are you regretting being with me now? You told me you didn't mind being a replacement.

Kirsten: Yes. I didn't mind back then. But not now. It's been 5 months we've been together and all I ever did was nothing to you? I mean, what did I do all that like hugging, kissing, buying you stuff, go out watching movie together. I did all that is because I want you to get your mind off her and love me as me. Not her.

Cal: I told you. I can't forget about her. I told you a billion times. I can't. I love her Kirsten. She means a lot to me. Don't you understand that?

Kirsten: So you were actually free. You just spend all your free time with her isn't that true? I can't believe that I'm actually gonna lose you to someone that isn't here anymore.

Cal: She's here! She's not gone. Only people like you and Johnathan are just so crazy to think that she is gone.

Kirsten: Let me tell you whose the crazy one. You are.

Kirsten shouting & sobbing: She's not here and you know it youself! All of this is just a make up from your stupid head! She is not here! She is dead Cal!

Cal shour: No! No she's not!

Then Kirsten slap Cal's face. Then there was silence for awhile. Kirsten was still crying. Then she said.

Kirsten sobbing: I'm sorry to do that. I just have too. You're just too much. I love you so much. But I didn't have your love in return. I don't want to be a replacement to tell you the truth. I don't want too. I hate you.

Kirsten shouting: I really hate you!

Then Cal said in a soft voice.

Cal: I'm sorry. I guess, being with me is just wrong. Why not, we just end it right now. It is for the better. No one will get hurt. And you deserve a better guy. Not like me.

Kirsten sobbing: Yeah. You're right. I do deserve a better guy.

Cal: We can still be friends.

Kirsten: That's always what you want isn't it? That's not what I want. All I really want is for you to love me for who I am. Thats all. So...this is the end hah?


Kirsten look at him and then run away crying. Cal just stand there facing the ground...

Cal thinking: Kirsten. I'm so sorry.

Back at Kirsten, she was walking. And she has no idea where she wanna go. She can't believe what actually happened. Then he sky was turning gloomy just like her mood. Then not long after that, it rains. She was walking in the rain. Then suddenlt she stop. She look at her right. She was actually standing in front of Johnathan's house. At Johnathan, he was watching tv when his doorbell rang. He open it.

Johnathan: Kirsten? What? What happened to you? You're all wet.

Kirsten sobbing: Johnathan. We...we broke up.


Set By

-Jessica Tan -

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Pain. Stress. Tomolo presentation ar!! DIE LIAO!!

Hi all. Long time I haven't touch this blog. Lol. Um, somethim really weird happened. Herman's cousin message me yesterday and it is really weird after for so long and suprisingly, she likes herman after she knows that she and him are not related.
I like someone else and it is actually my kor kor. I know. Suprising. But to me it is not suprising. Eventhough my kor kor doesn't want to have a girlfriend now, and I know that he doesn't even know that I like him and he is eventually gonna hurt me tons of times, I just wish that he will soon one day found out that I like him instead of me telling him and all.
Just now he just broke my heart up again. And I just know that whatever I do to like him, is not gonna make me and him be together. It is just too impossible when after what happened today. He is still in college 1 hour ago and when I called him up to talk about my problems about my presentation which is tomorrow, I just want him to give me a little of support but I know that he doesn't have the time to talk to me and he is also stressed out himself. I will just put it that way so I don't get hurt too much. He has a performance tomorrow and I'm not sure whether should I go. And well, honestly I don't wanna go. But the reason I want to go is because he will be there performing and because I can be with him alone in the car later.
I just don't know. Being with him and hugging him and all makes me feel so comfortable but seriously, I don't know about him. Sometimes, I wish herman just will call me and talk to me and be with me back and somehow he is a chinese instead of malay. I love Herman so much until I cried yesterday after what she told me. But eventually, I have to move on. And I choose my kor kor. Coz he is the only guy that pays attention to me. And letting me lean on his shoulder, kiss me on the cheek and all sorts ler. That's why I love my kor kor so much. I don't want him to hurt me. But, I somehow still love herman just that herman is not around anymore. Man, why is this happening la. WHY!! Sucks. Life and love life SUCKS!~