Sunday, July 30, 2006

Just hate sometimes when people never know how much you love them!

Hi all. Need to get ready for college soon. Anyway, yeah, I read someones blog. And then now I know that after all the things that I did with him lastime is all bullshit and nothing really matters to him. Lastime all the kisses that I gave him all means nothing to him. I mean, how could he even not cherish all that moments?
I just read his blog and I hate all the things he said inside there. All the things he said is that he loves his ex and all the other dates that he have dated are no match for the girl that he loves before. Just imagine when you kissed someone and then that someone hug you and stuff and later on he/she tells you that both of you have no chance to be together. I really am angry at him till now. But still, I tried not to show it to him. Still talk to him but still have some of that hatred inside. Anyway, until I read his blog. It made me even more angry. And he never did apologise so much to me after what he had done.
Until now, I jsut feel, that he never even felt guilty on whatever he did. I just wanna know from that moment till now, I wish we were really together and thanks to him now that the guys all go out with me, makes me not to trust them so much. But until now, that's the worst experience I ever experienced and never wanna go out with him dating ever again. I saw his blog and now I know all those things that we did lastime are just a waste of time. Froget that guy better...Ciao guys.!!

Friday, July 28, 2006


Well, as you guys can see from the title up there. Yeah, College is starting again! NO!! Nightmare again! Oh well, looks like I can't play my kingdom hearts anymore. NO!!! I don't care. No matter how busy I am, saturdays and sundays I will play like hell only when it comes to my biggest moments which when I'm about to finish, then I would stop playing for awhile.
Well, you guys knows Reney right? My bestfriend? Well, I don't know. Now that she has her ps2, she is kinda bosy to me. I don't wanan tell her because it might just hurt her feelings, but then again, everytime when I go to her house, well, I see her like, take care of it until sooooooooooo good like the ps2 is her baby like that. I know that ps2's are expensive but you don't need to over exagurate like that ps2 are so fragile. I mean,if it is, they won't sell it right? Anyway, yeah, that is all. Anyway, she won't read my blog anyway. She will never know what am I feeling. Anyway, gotta go. Bye...

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Wedding dinner! And finally my game is over but starting a new one!!

Hi all. Just after playing kingdom hearts 2. Finally I finish playing final fantasy 10 and kingdom hearts 1. Next is kingdom hearts 2 and final fantasy 10 part 2. Can't wait. But just now I play kingdom hearts 2 and then very funny. I thought it would straight away go to Sora the main character in kingdom hearts 1 but then there's this guy nake Roxan I think(However you name it) took place as the main character. But just now I took a peek in the walkthrough and then they said I will eventually paly Sora, Donald and Goofy. Hopefully. I woulnd't want Sora not to be the main character anymore. I will be sad if he isn't.
Anyway, wedding dinner was great. My cousin got married. He is so damn funny. My sister used to have a crush on him before. Oops. Anyway, yeah, he got married and then they look so happy together. Hmm, wonder what will happen on my wedding day. Will it be like that or not? Lolz. And man, am I fat. So many dinner. Last Sunday had another wedding dinner and then today another wedding dinner. Lolz. So fat already. That Sunday, we had it in Muar and now we having it in Subang. Lolz. Nearer and thank God. Had a bad tummy ache. Still having the bad tummy ache but well, I overcome it anyway. Well, wonder who will be my husband nextime. Lolz. That will be a long time. Well guess have to wait.
Anyway, college starting and back to nightmare and stuff again. Sigh, sucks har? Anyway, gotta sleep now. Drank a lot just now at the wedding and well got a little bit of headache now. Lolz. Can't stop drinking. So tempting and they keep on pouring for me. So I drink lor. Lolz. Until I felt my head was like spinning then I stop drinking and drank sprite. Hahaha. I'm still okay anyway. Lol. Ok la. Gotta stop here. Wonder why tummy ache can't stop aching. ARGH!!! Bye guys and goodnite!!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Love Story Chapter 62

Dissapointment running through Cal's mind. It is Thursday. 1 more day and that's it. The end for them. He and Jamie would not see each other in college so often. Not to mention now too.
Melanie: Hey my sweet boy.
Melanie look at Cal's face.
Melanie:Um, let me guess. You are...sad.
Cal: It's none of your bussiness.
Cal walk away.
Melanie: Oh really? You think I'm dumb.
Cal: I don't think you are dumb. You're not and I know that you're a smart girl. I just don't want to talk about it.
Melanie walk nearer to him.
Melanie:And why not?
Cal: Melanie, it's just gonna make me sad.....and hurt.
Melanie: And you do know the reason why right?
Cal keep quiet.
Cal: Melanie, don't start.
Melanie: I'm not gonna start anything. I'm just worried about you. To tell you the truth, you don't look so good.
Then she walk past Cal leaving him there to think.
Cal thinking: I don't look so good? What does she mean by that?
KRING!!!!! Break time. Cal was at his locker, puting his bagpack in his locker and then he saw Jamie at her locker from a distance. He look left and right.
Cal thinking: Hmm, no sign of Johnathan.
Then he walk towards her. He tap on her shoulder. Jamie turn.
Cal: Hi.
Jamie didn't smile back instead, she jsut turn back and face her locker.
Jamie: Whare are you doing here? I told you, I don't want you anywhere near me anymore.
Cal: Oh, so now I'm like a desease to you?
Jamie close her locker, turn to Cal and said...
Jamie: Yes.
She walk pass Cal but Cal grab her arm.
Cal: Jamie, wait.
Jamie: Let go of me. Johnathan, will be here soon.
Cal: Good, so I can tell him what is actually going on.
Jamie: What are you talking about. I told you, I love him.
Cal: Jamie, feelings can't change that fast. And I know you are just lieing to yourself.
Jamie: Hah, you think that you know me?
Cal: Oh, I know you Jamie. I really do.
Jamie: You don't know me. You just assume that you know me but actually, you don't know me so stop acting like you do okay?
Cal: No, Jamie. This is not okay. You are hurting the person you are gonna marry.
Jamie struggle and he let go.
Jamie: I can garuntee you, I love him. And nothing is gonna stop me from loving him.
Cal: Not even me.
Jamie: Yes. Not even you. I've changed me love Cal. I love Johnathan. I finally realise that.
Cal: Really? There's no turning back?
Jamie: If you think that I still love you, then you're wrong.
Then Jamie saw Johnathan waving at her from a distance.
Jamie: My husband is waiting for me there.
Cal saw Johnathan waving.
Jamie: To tell you the truth, I wish you aren't going to my wedding.
Cal thinking: What? Is she serious?
Jamie; I might have second thoughts.
With that, she walk away. Cal didn't know what to say. Now, he is confuse. So depress and don't know what the hell is going on. At Jamie, she was heading towards Johnathan.
Jamie: Hey.
Johnathan: Hey baby. You're talking to Cal?
Jamie: Yeah. I was.
Johnathan: About what?
Jamie: Nothing. Nothing much. Just asking how are we and stuff.
Johnathan: I see. Ho don't want to join us?
Jamie: Oh...I didn't asked him. But I thought you know, we could have some quiet moments together. Just the two of us.
Johnathan: Haha. We could always have that moments once we are married.
Then they went for their break. After school, Cal drove home. And when he reach home, he just lye down on his bed. He feels soooo sick. Jamie means so much to him. And he always fighting with her each time they talk.
Cal thinking: This is just great. The girl I love hates me.
Then his phone rings. He pick up.
Cal: Hello?
Melanie: Hi depress guy.
Cal: Great. You again.
Melanie: Oh, so now you don't want to talk to me?
Cal: Not until you stop being so annoying.
Melanie: Oh, I'm annoying to you.
Cal: Yes.
Melanie: I'm not annoying.
Cal: Yes you are. You keep on asking me about Jamie and Johnathan and the whole thing about the marriage and stuff and it really bugs me and...
Melanie: Look, the only reason you find me annoying and bugging you is because you love her. I'm jsut saying, go get her. You love her, she loves you.So what is there...
Cal: She doesn't love me.
Melanie: Come again?
Cal: You heard me. She don't love me.
Melanie: And how the hell do you even know that shit?
Cal: She told me okay? And I know that she is telling the truth.
Melanie: You don't know what is really inside her heart. She is just keeping it inside Cal. You can't trust her words. She can just say it but what she really feels inside is...
Cal: I have enough. I really have enough. I can't stand it anymore. Sorry. I need to be alone.
Without waiying for Melanie's answer, he just hang up and go to sleep that is if he can sleep.
Set By
- Jessica Tan -

Monday, July 17, 2006

Pirate of the Carribean rocks for people!

Alright people. I don't know. But for me pirates of the Carribean not to say it is damn good. The storyline is dissapointing. And basically, everyone is after the dead man's chest. And well apparently I wasn't really that amazed with the show and there will be part 3 coming out. Lol.
Well, it was a dissapointing show for me. Just a little but I'm so glad I watched it with Herman! And that night was the first time I tried cineleisure's popcorn. And it was damn sweet but nice. Can't complain much. Herman told me that he didn't like popcorn until we ordered that time and then he tried the popcorn and then he likes it. Lol.
Herman is out of money and can't blame him. He just got his salary from delicious last month and then his salary just gone just like that because he needs to pay his car. Which cost the total of RM 500+. Man, sometimes I really wish he is a millionare. And sometimes I wish that I can faster find a chinese guy that has not so much financial problems. Because I don't want to be spending Herman's money all the time. Oh God, quickly give me a partner. Although tow hearts will be hurt but it is for the better. Anyway, gotta stop now. Too late already. I need to update my love story. Anyway, goodnite people. Just watch pirates of the carribean and tell me if it's nice. But I'm sure it wasn't waste of money. LOL. Bye people!!!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Italy plays cheat!

Hi all. Football fever is over already. And so boring now. Well, Italy won and they play cheat. That Italy player. I have no idea how to spell his name go and say something to my hero name 'Zidane' France player and made Zidane so angry. Of course Zidane wack that fella ler.
Well, so glad that he did. They didn't win but at least Zidane gave that Italy fella a wack on the chest. Anyway, Italy won but the next world cup Italy needs to buck up because France gonna win.(I think) Hahaha. Anyway, how's life for me? It's cool. Just met a cool guy from the net but apparently, he turns out to be a malay mix chinese. ARGH! Why! I want to meet a guy that is a chinese but then end up a malay guy. What the heck. Does God wants me to become a muslim? Sometimes I wonder that so so much.
Anyway, I'm back watching anime which is naruto again. I mean, I did download it a very long time ago so better watch it. I mean, when I start something, I wanna finish it. Anyway, I jsut wanna say that is not fair. I mean the game. Oh yeah, and did I mention that I have a dog? Lol. Her name is Coco and she's like so scared of my dad. She can trust everyone accept my dad. That's so weird hor?
Anyway, me and Herman just now ended up fighting. And at the end, I was the one who started the conversation and he said he was sorry. I asked him to convert into chinese if he really loves me and he said he has been thinking about it and he still not yet have the answer yet. And he told me that it is hard. Well of course ler. I also cannot convert into muslim. Or a malay. That's against my policy and through my family's policy too. If I convert and just screw that, I don't obey my parents and don't obey my God.
I think I don't want to be near this Vincent guy. You know, lastime, I got mention a guy name Vincent? Lastime, I know he is trying to love me like his own daughter which really freaks me out. He started hugging me, and started patting me, kissing my cheek and also, he asked me to lye down on his lap. And after that time, I freak out. And then I started to like avoid him and then he tought I was rude to him. And now when he knew that I'm going dating with Herman, he is like over reacting abotu God and stuff. Sometimes I don't like church people because when it comes to religion and especially Muslim, they will over react and do whatever it takes to say that is wrong and stuff. I mean, don't need to over react. I thought that among all the religion, christian is a free thing. I mean, we could do whatever we want as long as is right. But now, after all what Vincent said to me, is like I cannot say that statement and stuff. And when I try to tell him what I'm actually trying to say, he say that I'm wrong. Seriously, that will make me be weaker in my christian life. I knopw what I'm doing and I know who is my real God is. So stop questioning me! ARGH! Another stupid guy I have to handle. Seriously, I had it with him. Not going to talk to him. Not ever!

Friday, July 07, 2006

What I did with my kor kor!

Hi all. I went out with my kor kor and it was really nice. First I was late because me and my dad wanted to go and get a dog from a lady name Lily. After that my dad fetched me to 1Utama. After that I met him in the arcade because he was playing the 'Time crisis 2' After that, I played with him 'House of the Dead 4' and he suck at it. Lol. Wel, for a first timer, he is really goOD.
Anyway, after that, we went and bought the tickets for the movie 'Voice' and then went and makan lor. And we really had a hard time thinking on what to eat. Until I was complaining I was so hungry and then we went and eat kentucky coz I told him I want to eat chicken. Lol. And then after that, we went and eat lor. After eating, we went walk walk around 1Utama and then he bought something in AnimeTech. Ater that, we went back to arcade and started to play. We played 'Time Crisis 3'(I suck) and then we play bishi bashi. Lol. He was really getting so excited playing that game with me. HAAHAHA!
Anyway, after that, the movie is about to start. So we went in the cinema. Waited and waited...Ater that watch show, until 6 something, then we went back to Anime Tech because I wanted the jigsaw puzzle . So he bought 1 and free 1 more jigsaw. So I got 2 jigsaws now. It is gonna take m3 forever to finish it man.
Anyway, after that we went back to arcade for the lastime and played time crisis 3 and photo hunt. We really suck at photo hunt. I really need Herman for this. Anyway, we played and then he played the fighting game. After that, suprisingly, we met Afif there. And Afif wanted to challenge my kor kor with games. So he did. And then after my kor kor lost already, it's time to head back.
So he fetched me home and then I hug him(He deserves it) He really made my day yesterday. Following whatever I want. And spending me everything. Even arcade. Just a little but still. I love him so much. Miss my kor kor. Yesterday I felt so small. Like a small sister. Seriously, I wish I have a brother like him. Alright. And where's this Herman? Suppose to be calling me by now. Don't tell me he take bath so damn bluddy long meh? Sigh, I think better call him. Don't know what the heck is he doing.

Herman is sick and I'm so damn lonely. Tomorrow going out with my kor kor~!

Herman is sick and I'm so damn lonely. Tomorrow going out with my kor kor~!
Hi everyone. Not been writing a lot lately. Coz well, too lazy and yeah, football fever. Lol. Anyway, Herman is sick and can't get to see him today. So damn bluddy miss him and well, what to do? Really wish he stays near here. Sometimes I really wish he could be a chinese person. I know deep down inside him, he wants to be.
Anyway, tomorrow going to go out with my kor kor. Hahaha. Jimmy kor kor. Lol. Watching movie, playing arcade and go makan. It's actually my birthday outing. And how I wish that he will spend me instead of me putting out my money. Don't know will he be that kind or not. Ahahaha, but as far as I know, he is a very loving kor kor. Lol. He loves me so much like I'm his real small sis.
Ahahaha, I also sometimes treats him like a real big brother. Love him so much. Ahahaha, as a brother ar. Lol. The person I really love is Herman. AHAHAHA. Well, if people out there is asking about Andrew, well, I don't know what happened to that fella liao. Gone liao. Lost in action. And anyway, can't wait for my birthday outing and I wanna watch football. But I need to wake up early for tomorrow's outing. Why must it be today? ROAR! Well, I think I'll sleep for one hour and then wake up at 3.00 a.m and then watch. Kinda sleepy anyway now. So I think better sleep first lor.
I know me and Herman is not going to survive in this relationship if this thing is going to happen again and again. He is not spending enough time with me and he is not realising it. We almost everyday have a fight and I really hate it. Not happy at the moment. If you all think that my life is happy, is not. It is like sucks like hell. I mean, he is not like seeing me everyday already. He is seeing me lesser but not loving me lesser but that's not the point. How can you even say that? If you are not loving me lesser, you would already see me everyday like you used too. Well, I don't know. This relationship now sucks. I picked him is because he used to see me everyday and now when he changed his job, everything started to change and well, I'm really getting sick of it.
But you know what, I can't say anything right? So that's why...I'm always the one getting hurt. Always. And sigh, sometimes I wish I was not born and not here. If this continue's, I really don't know how am I going to survive. Really very hurting the way Herman is treating our relationship. Not curently happy with it.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Love Story Chapter 61

The next day, it was Wednesday and Cal was searching all over the place for Johnathan. He spotted Johnathan alright. He wanted to approach Johnathan but then he pause for awhile.
Cal thinking: Wait. If I tell him, what will Jamie think? She will think that I'm breaking both of them up and I'm just jealous. She will think that I'm just thinking about my ownself but...
Then suddenly, Johnathan slapped Cal's shoulder.
Johnathan: Hey man.
Cal: Hey. Um, listen there's something I need to tell you.
Johnathan: Oh really? What is it?
Cal: It's about the wedding.
Johnathan: Wedding? You and Jamie really are into the wedding huh?
Cal: Huh? Jamie?
Johnathan: Yeah, yesterday she asked me about the wedding too. And today, you wanna talk about the wedding too. This is really funny especially you asking. What about it?
Cal: Um...may I know what Jamie asked you?
Johnathan; Well, she didn't say anything just that she can't wait till the wedding.
Cal: Are you sure?
Johnathan: Yeah. That's what she said. Why?
Cal: Nothing. Um, I just thought that she would say something else.
Johnathan: WHat else she would say?
Cal: Well, who knows?
Johnathan: Huh?
Cal: Just forget it. I gotta go.
Johnathan: Hey wait.
Cal stop walking and turn.
Johnathan: Are you okay?
Cal: Yeah, I'm fine.
Johnathan: You said you wanan talk to me about the wedding right?
Cal: No. I changed my mind. Sorry. Bye.
Then he just walk away.
Cal thinking: I can't. I can't do it. This is just not right.
Then back at Johnathan.
Johnathan: Hmm, he's acting really strange.
Jamie: Who?
Johnathan turn.
Johnathan: Oh..hi Jamie.
Jamie; Hi baby.
Then they kissed.
Jamie: Talking to yourself again?
Johnathan: No. I mean, you know Cal? Have you seen him this days?
Jamie: Um...yeah..why?
Johnathan: Don't you think that he is acting strange?
Jamie; He is?
Johnathan; I don't know. He was talking to me just now. And then he said he wantes to talk to me about the wedding but then suddenly I mentioned to him that you also did talk to me about the wedding and then he quicky took off. Weird right?
Jamie: I don't know. Maybe he has some other things to do.
Johnathan: Well maybe. But it stil bother me.
Jamie; What is there to get bothered about? The wedding is 3 more days. Aren't you suppose to get excited rather than getting bothered?
Then suddenly Jamie hold her chest. Johnathan realise.
Johnathan: Jamie? Is coming again isn't it?
Jamie: (Huff puff) Pain...Need medicine.
Johnathan quickly reach out for her bad and find Jamie's medicine. He found it, open it and then let her eat. Then slowly it subsides.
Johnathan: Feeling better?
Jamie: Yeah.
Johnathan: Man. That really scares me.
Jamie: As long you are right by my side and my medicine is with me, I'm fine.
Johnathan: I know. But still.
Then they hug each other. The same day, Jamie went back to her house after college and then she started to wash her hair. When she was srubbing her hair, a few of her hair came out. She was shocked to see the hairs falling and she was sad to see it all falling off. After her bath, she call Johnathan and tell him how sad she is.
Johnathan: Well, what can we do?
Jamie: I'm losing hair.
Johnathan: No matter you're losing your hair, no matter what happens to you, I'll still love you okay?
Jamie: I know.
Johnathan: Alright, go sleep. Tomorrow will be another day of college.
Jamie: Yeah. Love you baby.
Johnathan: Love you too.
Jamie: Bye.
Jonathan: Bye.
After she put down the phone, she remembered what Johnathan said to her earlier. About Cal went and see Johnathan about the wedding. She is so pissed off. So she went and call Cal.
Cal: Hello?
Jamie: What do you think you're doing?
Jamie: I told you not to spoil anything did I?
Cal: So? I didn't say anything to him.
Jamie: I know you didn't but why did you even go and see him?
Cal: Because I know this is not right. You don't love him. You are just using him to make me jealous and further more, if he finds out the truth, he won't ...
Jamie: Listen here. I don't use people. And for your information, the things that I told you yesterday is not true. I loved him. Okay? And what I'm saying right now is all true. I do love Johnathan and I marrying Johnathan not because of you but because I love him. Alright? And don't you dare do anything. If you still wanna go and tell him, I'm begging you to not do it. Please. I just realise just now that I love him. Really. If you still don't believe me, then fine. Do all you want.
Then she just put down the phone. Cal still can't believe what he just heard. But all he knows that somehow what she said just now, is all true.
Set By
- Jessica Tan -