Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Just god a dog few minutes ago.

Hi people. I just had a dog few minutes ago. And then now, I just gave it back to the vet. It was just too playful and I couldn't stand it. I wish she was like my previous dog. Too bad she wasn't. She was soooo playful until I scolded her and then she didn't like it and then started barking back at me.
That's why I want a dog which is cute and not so active. Can be playful but not too much like this dog. Super power. I will not have enough rest with she arouond the house. I really want a dog but not this kind. Too playful until when we don't want to play with her, she starts to bark back. And it's scary. Because it's not really my dog. But still, I don't know. Now my dad took her back, it feels so lonely again. I really need a dog. I so missed Ralph until when I think back, I can cry. Sigh, well, now waiting for time pass until Herman cals me which will be long. And very much later. I think my dad should be back by now. Okay la. Ciao.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Love Story Chapter 60

That night on tuesday night, Cal was just lying on his bed. Day dreaming and then he flash back on what Jamie said earlier.
Jamie's flash back: 4 more days Cal. I don't want anything thing to turn out wrong.
Cal thinking: 4 more days. Sigh. I don't know what to do. I'm really so confused.
Then the next day. It was wednesday. Jamie was so moody. She don't know what to do either. The wedding is so close and she's getting all stiffed up already.
Jamie thinking: Do I really want this wedding to happened? Or am I just following Cal's advice?
She was in fron of her locker, taking out her books. Her locker door, has a picture of she and Cal taking picture together when they were bestfriends. She look at it and stare at it for quite sometime. Then she quickly shake her head to get out from her dream world. Then she knew something.
Jamie thinking: No. I don't love Johnathan. I love Cal. I'm just doing this to make Cal happy. Melanie is right. I don't love Johnathan. I'm just lying to myself and to Johnathan. I need to explain this to Cal.
Then she close her locker. The minute she turn to her left, she saw Cal across the hallway. She wanted to chase after him when suddenly someone stop in fron of her. She look up.
Johnathan: Hi baby.
Jamie: Hi.
Johnathan: Anything wrong? You look...exhausted.
Jamie: No..nothing wrong.
Then Jamie try to look at the back of Johnathan but then Cal was gone. Then he face grew sad.
Johnathan: Are you sure? Your face. Their not happy.
Jamie: I have to tell you something.
Johnathan: Tell me what?
Jamie: I...
Kring!! Bell rang.
Jamie thinking: No...I need to tell him now. Before it's too late.
Johnathan: Oh..the bell.
Jamie: No, I need to tell you now.
Johnathan: We can talk later. We have to go to class.
Jamie: No, dear..it's urgent...I really think that...
Johnathan: Whatever it is, we'll talk later okay? We can't be late. Common.
Jamie sigh and then follow Johnathan to their class. Then they sat down on their seats. The teacher is not in the class yet. Jamie look at Johnathan. She went towards him. Johnathan look up. Jamie was standing in front of him.
Johnathan: Okay...what do you want to say? What is so important?
Jamie: It's about our wedding.
Johnathan: Oh yeah, the wedding. 3 more days. I can't wait. Wait, before you say anything. Let me say first.
Jamie: Go ahead.
Johnathan: You know, I can't really wait. I can't wait to say that 'I do' word. And kiss you. It would be so great. And I can't believe and still can't believe that I'm actually marrying you. You know, sometimes I always got this thing in my mind that you are just marrying me because of Cal. And I always remind myself that no, you're marrying me because you love me.
Then Johnthan look at Jamie.
Johnathan: You're not marrying me because of Cal.....right?
Jamie didn't know what to say. She look at Johnathan. He was so upset when he say those sentence. She don't want to upset anybody. Then she say...
Jamie: No. I marrying you because I love you.
Johnathan smile. And then he stand up and hug Jamie. Jamie wasn't happy when he was hugging her. She felt so bad lieng to Johnathan. Then Johnathan stop hugging Jamie. Still holding her hand, Johnathan said...
Johnathan: This is gonna be the best wedding you will ever have. I assure you.
Jamie thinking: Yeah. It will.
Johnathan: So...what is it you wanna tell me about the wedding?
Jamie smile and said...
Jamie: Oh..nothing. I can't wait too.
Then she went back to her seat. She burried her face with her palms. She is so frustrated and don't know what else to do. She can't dissapoint Johnathan. He is looking forward to the wedding. At break time, Cal was eating alone. He purposely seperate himself from his other friends. He was not in the mood for anyone now. Then suddenly a female voice beside him said...
Female voice: May I?
Then Cal look up and see it was Jamie.
Cal: Um..sure.
Then Jamie sat beside him.
Cal: Where's Johnathan?
Jamie: Oh..he has a basketball meeting. But he will be joining me later.
Cal: I see.
Jamie: I see that you're seperating yourself with the others. May I know why?
Cal: Nothing. I just not in the mood to talk about the whole marriage thing with my friends. You know about me not caring whether you are marrying with...
Then he stop.
Cal: Sorry.
Jamie: It's okay. You don't need to be shy about it.
Cal: I thought you don't want to talk to me anymore.
Jamie; Yeah, for a moment.
Cal: What makes you changed your mind?
Jamie: You actually.
Cal: Huh?
Jamie: Nevermind. Forget about it.
Cal: Actually Jamie. I'm still in love with you.
Jamie: Yeah I know that.
Cal: You do?
Jamie: Yes...because I feel the same way.
Cal's eyes grew bigger.
Cal: Huh?
Jamie: Listen...I still love you okay?
Cal: But the wedding is still on right?
Jamie: Yes..I love you but I'm gonna marry Johnathan still.
Cal: Why? Jamie, you can't love two person in the same time.
Jamie: I'm not.
She stand up taking her tray.
Jamie: The person I really love is you. But I'm marrying Johnathan is because I don't want to hurt him. At least I'm not with the person I love but I already did my part to tell you my feelings.
Cal: I mean..Jamie. You can't be like thaT. Does Johnathan knows about this?
Jamie: Nope. I don't intend to tell him, Don't you dare spoil the wedding too. That's all. Now will you excuse me? I want to find my husband.
Then she went. Cal still don't quite get her but he feels that he needs to do something. This is not what he had in mind. Jamie doesn't love Johnathan and that says everything.
END OF CHAPTER 60
Set By
- Jessica Tan -

My birthday is over! How sad? :(

Hi all. Just finish watching the football match between Brazil and Ghana. And I wasn't happy with the results and the way Brazil was playing. It wasn't fair. And also most of the goals Brazil made were almost all offside goals. I'm not trying to say that Brazil isn't good. They are really good and they have the skills way much more better than Ghana but then I just felt that it wasn't fair to Ghana just now in the game. I was so impress with Ghana the way they were actually struggling for A GOAL, and the ' so called refree' which I hate in this match is like so supporting Brazil instead.
I mean, rules are rules. FOLLOW THEM! Eeeish. Anyway, my point is that common, can't you see that is an offside? Duh! Somemore, I went to the mamak stall with my dad and then there's this malay big fat ass guy, screaming and condemming Ghana so much. And I mean a lot man. Common, don't be so on one headed la please. I know Brazil is like the champion last year but I doubt they will be this year. I know everyone is like supporting Brazil too, but then if you don't like the other opponent, you don't need to like shout or screamed and tell everyone how bad are they. If Ghana people were here, I think they will already stabbed you with thousand of knives already. Ghana is good. I admit that Ghana is really good. They are just not up to Brazil's standard. I really was impress by the way they play. They just need more practice and experience.
My dad also was saying that Ghana was good. So I'm not the only one saying that Brazil isn't god. The way Brazil was playing, it wasn't good enough. Anyway, let's get back to the title up there. Enough of football talking. Yeah, my birthday is over. Yesterday was my real birthday and then I went out with Andrew. Yeah, everyone will be thinking "WHAT"? Lol. What's really wrong with that? Nothing ma. Anyway, we went and catch a movie"scary movie 4". It was not to say damn funny lor. Okay only ler for me. I don't know. Maybe I was just too tired. And then he took me to the ship lor. I ate black pepper chicken. And then he ate chicken also but don't know what it is. And then his sause got a little bit of wine. I can't stand the taste. Too bitter. Anyway, we went home after that. The present he bought for me is a purse from teddy tales. I love it. It's nice. THANKS ANDREW! Appreciate it and yeah, thanks again. You got me the correct colour. Luckily. Then when I came home, I went out with Herman. And this time, he gave me a necklace and he wore it for me. Damn expensive man the necklace. It is like over RM 50 but don't know the exact price la of course. Anyway, yeah, then we went to arcade, then after that go yarm char then go home lor. And today we never see each other again because he has no money as usual again. Since when he entered this new work of his, everything seems wrong and I'm just gonna shut my mouth about it because you all people will think that I'm judging here and judging there. So it seems that I should just shut my mouth and comtinue to just hurt my heart without saying out right? Yes, right.
And we nearly foght just now. Actually, we did fought. I don't know. I just know that my telephone bill for this month is going to up high and it's all because of me. I should cut it down. I think I know what's my problem. Worrying. I'm worrying too much. Okay, starting from tommorrow, I'm just gonna act as if, I'm single, no boys dsitraction until he calls me. Yeah, that's the best thing. I can't stand it anymore. Always calling him and getting hurt. Sucks to da max. Anyway, wanna go and start singing liao. Later might be watching the spain vs france match. Okay la. Ciao people.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

My birthday outing with Herman!

Hi all! Yeah. My birthday is coming which is soon. Tomorrow lor. Anyway, I have a wonderful outing with him yesterday. Actually it was a little disspointing at first because we suppose to go out after lunch and he didn't show up until 6.00p.m which is so damn late. And the answer he gave me is that he was sleeping and could not wake up. Man.!tHAT'S a lame answer. And he told me thathe was so sorry. And he was begging for my forgiveness. Fine.
Then after that, we went to 1Utama. And he brought me again to Italliannies. But I thought that he will bring me to Chillie's. We went and check out the food in Chillie's. I don't know any of the food and there's like no pasta there and I was feeling to eat pasta yesterday, so we went back to Italliannies lor. And then we ordered wrong food coz it tatsted horrble as ever but then the hot chocolate was super. Anyway, we did not enjoy our food but it was a nice place to go and he take me to an expensive dinner which I really appreciate it. Oh yeah and then he gave me a present. I don't know what it is because he gave me to early. He wanted me to open the present yesterday cause he already show it to me but then I refuse. Cause I want him to give me on my real yand actual birthday. Not like that. He felt shy. Ahahaha, because he gave me so soon and I didn't want to open it.
After that, we went and play arcade lor as usual. Play play play. Then when it is time, we went and watch ' STAY ALIVE' movie. And it was freaking creepy man. Especially the game.Anyway, yeah, at the cinema I felt so romantic. I love him so so much over there. I have no idea why. Maybe I felt sleepy already that time and could not open my eyes already. But I felt so comfortable with him hugging me and so on. Ahh, okay, enough crap. Anyway, all that wasn't crap. Lol. Then after the movie, we went to mamak. Minum. Lol. And then he ordered for me air suam and milo ais. Lol. So we talk lor. Then I told him about the things I don't like and I like lor. Especially his work. And then now he understoof everything. What la he? Now only. Well, let's see got changed or not lor. Seriously, I'm trying to make things work out right here. And I also need help from him. I know he also is trying to make things work out fine and right but he is not trying hard enough. Especially what happen yesterday when we suppose to go out after lunch really really upset me so so so much until I really wanna break up with him but I didn't. Anyway, that's basically it lor. And 'Stay Alive' movie is not to say DAMN nice but it's okay ler. Those who likes to play game can go watch. To me, it wasn't bad and it wasn't good. It was just average and it's not even gross our violent. I don't see any. Don't know why they put it 18 sg. But 'Tokyo Drift' rocks man. Go watch. Okay got to pen off now. See ya.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Changed?

Alright. Look. I had it with my sisters comment and her boyfriend comment. What do they know?
What? They scared that I will become a Muslim or what? What's with them with Malays? And what do they even care about my love life? Anytime when I had an argument with Andrew, they will start questioning me. Duh, I know no one is perfect but think about it. Why do I even fight with Andrew ALL THE TIME. When this type of problem occure means that there's no hope anymore. Andrew is not changing. He is still the same as he was when I started to not like him anymore. When that happens longer and longer than my feelings towards him are starting to become less.
I'm not changed and that's final dammit. Do I even have to write down on my blog? I don't intend to asked people to follow whatever I have to say. And for sometimes, I need to stand up for myself and this sentence that I'm writing down now is so familiar. And do you know where I hear this? From my own sister that is the same one that is questioning me lastnight at 10.30 p.m in her room with her boyfriend that questioning me too. She was the one who asked me to stand up for myself and not letting anyone back me off. So yeah I did that. Thanks to her I already accomplish all that. And now she said that I am changed and she said I'm turning to worst.
The only problem that she is saying this is because the way I treat Andrew is like a pile of shit. And for your information I am trying not too. It is bluddy hard not too when sometimes I find him so irritating. He called me just now to planned for my birthday and when I asked him just to treat me for dinner, he said nevermind la. I planned again. What is there more to planned? Just treat me for a fancy dinner rather than taking me out to so many places. Just plus all that ammount of money to another type of a nicer place to eat la. I don't expect much from Andrew and my sister and her boyfriend thinks that I expect much from him. I DON'T! And for the final time, I say this, I DON'T EXPECT MUCH FROM HIM AND STOP WORRYING YOUR ASSES OUT!
Now the other thing I wanna let them know and please put it in your brain. Me and Herman knows that there are a lot of barriers among us. The only person who understand what are we going through is Jeremy. And I'm shocked of all people. No support from others as well. Reney is trying to support me and I know she is really doing quite well in it. Okay, now to the point. My sister is scared that I won't be with a chinese guy like for example I and Herman will be together forever and then I will become a Muslim and then I will forget all about christianity and then I will only GOD knows what la is she thinking. Okay, stop. That's enough. That day, Herman asked me to make sure that I will move on with my life. Like I said in my pevious post. Herman and me are just temporary until we find someone else( I can't believe that I'm even repeating myself again and again)Alright, I did said that right? Okay. And yeah, he asked me to find someone else as soon as I can. And if he wants me to do that I will. I thought Andrew is the one but no. Who said that I won't find a chinese guy while I'm with Herman? Of coourse and sure he and me will get hurt but still moving on with ouR lives. EEEISH!! So do not worry like shit. I know and he knows what are we both doing. We know we can't marry each other and we know that we are not going to be together forever and we are going to put each other hearts into our own hearts forever. And that's the only thing we are going to put in our hearts forever. Just give this to us and leave us alone and both of us will not dissapoint all of you JIE JIE AND ISAAC PLEASE LA. PLEASE DON'T EVER QUESTION ME ABOUT ANDREW AND HERMAN. YOU DO THIS, I WILL EVEN HATE YOU AND ANDREW MORE UNDERSTAND!?
They are just making things complicating when I don't want things to be that way. I know what I want and I can think rationally. I'm not blinded by love to even wanna marry with him. Please. I still can feel GOD's grace and mercy towards me. I know and I still got the passion for my own religion and race. To tell all of you plus the both of them. I felt the holy spirit in me. Have my sister even forgotten that I fainted? I think my believe in God is much more greater than her towards christianity. And thanks to Isaac too I can see my sister is trying her best to serve God. Thanks Isaac kor kor. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say. Yes, I am with Herman for a long time and I've rejected Andrew but that doesn't mean I rejected Andrew because I am totally in love with Herman. No. Do you both even think that Herman is trying to hypnotize me? Coz if you think that way, it is wrong and you all have no trust in me. What is so dissapointing to me lastnight when my own sister don't even believe what I was about to say. Isaac shut me off. My sister shut me off. So I got no choice but to say and pass the message that I really wanted them to hear my ass out is through my blog. I'm not even shy to say this. Whoever wanna critisize me behind my back go ahead because God is still forgiving me for whatever sins I've done. And I still pray and pray for God's mercy and Grace. I doubt my sister even do that. Okay, Herman and me are together yes. And I rejected Andrew because he is just not my type not because I'm tottally obsessed with Herman and if you both still think that's not it, suit yourself. Because I don't give a damn anymore. Because whatever I'm writing here maybe will not even wash out their brains from Andrew being rejected by me. And if that's so, I'm just wasting my time isn't it?
Now, Andrew is just not my type and I will and soon will ind a guy who is really for me. Me and Herman met in the wqorking place. It is just so happens that we have fate with each other. And no one can fight fate(JODOH). Things happens for a reason. To learn. Like what me and my sister have in their relationship trust, and understanding. I have all that in Herman but I don't have it with Andrew and that's what makes everything fades away. And the only thing I don't have with Herman is same religion and race like my sis. And those two things comes first. So I will and soon will find a person just wait la. I'm so sure everything will turns out fine. Stop worrying okay? I'm 20 like what my sister said. There are still a lot of opportunity out there and I know how to think. So stop worrying. I'm done typing and if this blog and message still didn't get the both of them then I guess they just have no trust in me. Can't believe even my own sister. Sigh. Whatever la. Got to go la. So dark. Can't see what I'm wtiting also. Anyway, wow, longest blog. Writing karangan liao. Lol. Oh..yeah, got one more thing.
She said that I'm changed because of my attitude that I want everyone to follow my orders? No, I don't intend anyone to follow whatever I have to say. The thing is, I don't like Herman's work is because he is going to have lesser time with me and not gonna see me very often. And I got to go back early and stuff and that's good. I just need time to have a changed of life with him throughout the days that have to come. That's all. Of course I have my own opinion on his work and stuff but I didn't asked him to like quit his work did I? And I didn't even expect Andrew to give me something so expensive when I'm not with him did I? What the heck are they even talking and making me blame myself for being so selfish? I'm not. They don't even understand me. And they don't know me. They are not me by the way. So stop acting as if they(you)know who I am and what I'm going to do next. And that's all la. I'm so fed up on people for example liek Jeremy lastime telling me that I'm wrong and telling me what to do and stuff and maybe that's what changed me. If that's what they are saying. I'm still the same old Jessica just a little more carign and standing up for myself more. And is that a crime? Geez! Okay, fine, got to go. Wish can write more but I think this long should be enough for both of them to understand. Alright. Bye...

Monday, June 19, 2006

Over with Andrew.He is so over me.

Hey all. Andrew and me are not together and maybe are nothing anymore. Considered.I think he already found a new lover. He never writes testimonials to me and he doesn't call me anymore. Yeah, looks like he is totally over me. Well, good la like that. He wants to be like that then let him be. I can't be bothered anyway.
Well, at least I know what kind of a guy is he. Never keep his promise. Like what I said in my previous blog. My birthday is coming and he said wanna take me to an expensive restaurant and what is this? Wanna back off now? Probably because he has no money. Such a cheapskate guy. Can't believe I even have feelings for him lastime.
As usual as all of you gals should know is that guys are all the same. Once they lose something they will really back off. And when that happens, they tend to forget about you totally. And that's what sucks to da max. I hate Andrew so much that I feel like killing him right now till he bleeds. Changing his photo and having another girl writing for him testimonials. All of a sudden, not writing to me anymore. I mean, what is this? Is this some kind of a joke? ot caring about me and all?
Look, if this is how he wants to be, then I will really really and I mean REALLY make it his way. And you guys out there who have been reading my blog for the past years back knows that when I say something, I really mean it right? And this time i MEAN it.He is not calling me anymore, no more messages and no more testi's. WOW!! Who knows, maybe he is out there tackling another girl which I think he will by the looks and the suckie attitudes he have. It will happen. I will play his way then. Watch out Andrew. You're gonna lose me soon enough. AND I MEAN REALY LOSE ME. Maybe even as a friend. Wanna blame anyone? Blame it on you...Think before you blame me..This time is really you.

Not very happy with Herman's new work!

Hi all. Lastnight was suppose to be happy. Herman was trying to make me happy. He was trying to make it up to me yesterday because he didn't came and see me on sunday. So after his work, he came which was 7.00 p.m to my house and then we went to the arcade where we suppose to go on sunday.
Then after that we went adn eat dinner at Jasima and then we went back to arcade and then we went back to my house and it was only 11p.m! OH MY GOD! He needs to go back by that time because the next morning he needs to wake up early. I mean, this is like a nightmare. That's why I hate and I repeat myself, I HATE his new work. He got to wake up at 5.30 a.m and finishes at 6 or 7p.m If like that I know, earlier on I will ask him to stop this stupid work. I mean, I know that you have saturday and sunday off the whole day but still, thinking of my birthday when it will be on next monday is gonna be a total disaster. Coming back early and stuff.ARGH!Nightmare to begin with.
He knows that I wanna go home late. So that's why after that he took me go yarm char near my house. And we talked there. He think it is settle but in my mind is a NO! It is not yet settle. I still am angry. Sigh, don't know la. Anyway, got to go la. Don't know how am I gonna leave with this. Anyway, gonna go sleep now. Bye bye..So upset....Wish he will find another job which I doubt he would.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Love Story Chapter 59

Cal shout: You what!?
It was 9.40 p.m on monday night. Melanie called Cal to talk to him about what she did early this afternoon.
Melanie: Ouch. Hey man. Chill.
Cal: How do you even think that I can calm down after what you did?
Melanie: Hey Cal. It is not all that bad.
Cal: Oh really? I suppose you can tell me how it is not bad?
Melanie: Gladly. Listen...I just did it so that both of you don't regret.
Cal: For the lastime Melanie I don't feel regret. I'm not in pain and please stop all this. It's driving me nuts. I don't want Jamie and Johnathan wedding to be ruin and me not going with Jamie.
Melanie: Then be with her.
Cal: I can't. She won't even be with me. She might not. She might be upset on what happened towards her wedding. Listen, I appreciate what are you trying to do but this is not going to work okay? I and her aren't meant to be, I know this. I love her but that doesn't mean that she needs to be with me. And I can see right through her heart that she loves him. More than anything else in the whole wide world.
Melanie: Alright stop. You're making me piuk. Anyway, I don't think so. I think whatever you said just now is how you feel towards Jamie.
Cal: Look, it's getting late. I really wanna have a good and early sleep. I'll see you tomorrow.
Melanie: Okay. Bye.
Cal: Bye.
Then the next day. Cal was at his locker as usual, taking his things when someone slaps his back.
Voice shout: Hey!
Cal turn.
Cal: Hey John. What's up?
Johanthan: Nothing man. So..how are you? I've never seen you around this few days.
Cal: Are you sure? Probaby you're just too busy with your wife?
Johnathan: Oh..common. You can too. You can just find someone else and then get married.
Cal: Yeah. Very funny.
Johnathan: But seriously, this whole marriage thing is making me feel so old. Imagine, I'm just eighteen. And I'm having a wife.
CaL:Don't tell me that you're backing off now?
Johnathan: Of course not.
Cal: Good. Because if you are, I'll definitely box you.
Then Johnathan saw Jamie coming towards them.
Johnathan: Alright. That's my baby. Gotta go.
Cal; Alright. See you.
Johnathan: Right. Bye.
Then Johnathan went to where Jamie is. Johnathan kissed her forehead and Jamie saw Cal from far. Cal saw her too. But then she didn't smile or anything, she just turn away and walk with Johnathan.
Cal thinking; Well, who am I kidding? She sure will be mad after what had happened.
Kring!! School is over. Jamie was walking with Johnathan home. Then Johnathan said...
Johnathan: Hey honey. I got something to do. I can't send you home today.
Jamie: It's alright but why?
Johnathan: I have important meeting with the basketball team later. I mean, few minutes more. I'm so sorry.
Jamie: It's okay.
Johnathan: I'll make it up to you okay?
Jamie: It's fine. You don't need to apologise. Not to say that you are doing it on purpose right?
Johnathan: Yeah but still.
Jamie: Alright fine. You want to make it up to me then you should.I that's what you want.
Johnathan: Just to tell you something.I'm broke. Because of that wedding preparations and stuff.
Jamie: (Laughing)
Johnathan look at his watch.
Johnathan: Oh no. It's gonna start soon.
Jamie: Alright. Then quickly go.
Johnathan: I'll come by your house later okay?
Jamie: Okay.
Johnathan: Bye sweety.
Jamie: Bye.
Then Johnathan kiss her lips a quick one and left. Jamie smile and saw him leave. WHne she turn and wanted to start walking home, a car stop in front of her.
Jamie thinking: It's Cal's car.
The car window wind down. Cal was inside.
Cal: Need a lift?
Jamie: No.I can walk.
Jamie started to walk. Cal off his engine and get out of the car. He called her.
Cal: Jamie.
Jamie stop walking. Cal walk nearer towards her.
Cal: I know that Melanie went to your house. I didn't ask her to go. She was the one that...
Jamie I know Cal. I know.
CaL:So...need a lift?
Jamie: I can walk. Thanks for asking anyway.
Cal: Jamie. I know that you are angry.
Jamie: Is is true Cal?
Cal: True?
Jamie: About you still loving me and all?
Cal: Sigh. Jamie. My love for you didn't change at all.
Jamie: So breaking up with me isn't what you wanted at all is it?
Cal didn't say anything.
Jamie: So you just break up with me is because you feel that you are not doing a good job.
Cal: Jamie. I don't want anything to happen to you. What if anything happens to you? I won't be there with you.
Jamie: Do you think Johnathan is going to be with me 24/7? He's not with me now. Infact, no one can be like superman. I didn't expect you to be with me 24/7. You just assume that I need extra protection.
Cal: Jamie...I know. I'm sorry that I assume things. It's just.
Jamie: 4 more days to my wedding day Cal. I don't want anything to turns out wrong Please don't ruin my wedding.
CaL: I don't even intend to do that.
Jamie: Alright. Then stop bugging me.
With that, she wanted to walk off. Cal said...
Cal: What does that mean?
Jamie: It means that I don't want to see you until after my wedding. Bye.
With that, she just walk off. Thier backs are facing each other. Cal's head was down. Not only did he lose to Johnathan now. He lost everything. Now Jamie don't even want to see him.
END OF CHAPTER 59
Set By
- Jessica Tan -

Monday, June 12, 2006

Back liao...Later going sunway lagoon!

Hi all. Back from camp. It was great I would say but still, I prefer PJEFC camp. Maybe is because it is more to young people and have more friends there so I don't feel so left out. And oever there, I'm more emotional. This camp, didn't really touch me that much like I said, PJEFC is better. But overall, its okay.
And later I'll be going to sunway lagoon with Reney. And can't wait but surely, I will be too scared to even sit all the rides. Well, just see ler how. Anyway, when I was back in the camp, there's this sermon where my uncle(pastor) preech. It was about settling conflicts. And it accured to me to Andrew. And I was about to settle with him whatever conflicts we have. We did talk over the phone. And then it was all settled. Then when I came back from pd, things begin to become worst again and all thanks to him la. He went and message my sis wiuthout me knowing in friendster and ask her to go yarm char. He don't want me to know, And how nice is that? What is he trying to do? Spy on me? Ask my sis about me? Later he told me that he is trying to change my sis attitude. And I have no idea why is he so busy body in doing that. He told me that he don't know why he even do that. He ownself also don't know. Anyway, we fought and settle things anyway. Okay la. Better go. Doughing non-stop now. Sick liao ler. Haihz...Don't know what is happening now. Cannot stop coughing. Bye all.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

The Omen totally rocks! And bye bye..I'm off!

Heyyyyyaaaaaaa people. Lastnight was the best night I ever had(not really) but it was okay. I mean, I feel so happy lastnight until there was wind in my stomache. Damn that wind. Anyway, lastnight it all started around 8.45p.m I went to 1Utama to go play arcade wjile waiting for Herman to finish his work. I didn't play..Only watched people play until 9.30 I started to play until he called me up. And then he met me in the arcade. He and I played for awhile.
Then it was time to go watch movie in that new cinema. CINELERISURE(PROMOTING HERE). Lol. It was really cool. And then we went there watch "The Omen'. Whoever not yet watched it, go and watch it. It is damn nice. For me. Not sure for you. Anyway, yeah...we went there. And man was I hungry. So is he. So we bought something unusual that me and him never tried before. It was 4 drumets. In my mind was like "huh? Eating drummets in cinema?" But what the heck, we just tried. And then a regular cup of 7 up and we went up.
It was so damn bluddy cold. And when we reached our cinema, I can see Herman seems to be enjoying the cinema. He said it is so slanting like a cliff and it is so relaxing. Of course la. We were sitting at the couples sit ma. Couples sit is where there has no arms rest. There is but you can put it up if you want. And we need to pay extra 1 dollar. What? Anyway, yeah, and then they serve us the drummets. So nice. Like hotel. Ahahaha. And then I love the entrance. Instead of a door, they put a curtain. And then I and him cuddle up like nobody's bussiness. So love him yesterday.
The Omen tottally rocks man. I thought it was boring. But it ended up quite well I would say. I screamed. That's why I liked it. Lol. It scared the hell outta me. Anyway yeah, should go watched it. And suprisingly Herman loves it too. He told me is same as his religion. Anyway after that, we go yarm char because I and him are still hungry. Hahahaha. That drummets not enough leh. Lol.
So we went off and then go yarm char lor. And that's when the wind destroyed my mood. There was wind in my stomache. Then after that, we went off and to my house. I slept in his car for awhile. And then wake up and then yeah, we kissed as usual. And then he don't want to let me go coz I'll be going to pd NOW. LOL. Waiting for my dad. And then I go in the house lor. Sigh, it was the most nice nights I've ever had for such a long long time. Ok la. I think better go now. Bye bye people. I'm off to church camp. See ya. I'll update when I come back. Bye!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Yay! It's all over. Stressness. And now can't wait to have fun or maybe find work? Hmmm!

Hi all! Woo hoo! Holiday starting from right this moment, second, minute and day. I do look happy don't ya think? Anyway, yeah, tomorrow will be going to church camp. Can't wait in a way. Also I don't wanna go coz I can't get to see my temporary boyfriend for awhile. And guess what? He has a new hp. Yay! At last. So I can lessen my worryness. And also I can keep track in him.
Later after this I want to go print some of my walkthroughs which I have been doing lately. I mean, the lastime. If I don't do now, I can't be doing it anymore next sem. It's gonna be very very hard. And not to mention busy too. I think Andrew will be coming later to my house to take the pen drive. Honestly speacking, I think Andrew has decrease his love for me. And I think it is just fine with me. Well, in any case, he was just talking rudely to me lastnight and I don't love and hate the way he talks to me. I feel so disgusted. Doens't mean that I said I don't want him to be with me, doesn't mean that he can just treat me like a pile of shit. And nowadays, he doesn't call me. How nice is that huh?
Well, if he is going to be like that the whole time and when he really has me, then I suggest its better if I and him remains as friends. Yeah, he is changed alright. Changed to be a total jerk and not to mention don't know how to win a girls heart. He will never be able to win a girls heart. Not mine that's for sure. I just don't have that sparkling feeling I felt for him lastime. Maybe he just need to make him trust him more. But for right now at this moment. I think he is not the one. I really thought he was the one before but right now. I don't think so anymore. And well, he is just putting a lot of fucking burden into my life. I don't know. If he really loves me or whatsoever, he will call me, he will find a way to get to me AND he will never talk to me like lastnight. LOVE ME konon!
Well, I don't like guys like that. I like guys who treat me the way I should be treated. I want my guy to be caring, (each and every second) see me almost everyday,everyweek.Be manja-manja with me, loves to go arcade and loves to watch the movies(especially horror movies even if it is a waste of money), borrow me ps2 and grant whatever I want. (Example, I want to eat in a expensive restaurant, he will try and find a way to grant that wish of mine no matter what) That's the guy I want to be with. Andrew always expect a lot of things from me. Especially my love to him. Okay, I really already think about it and I think this. I have a question for him. If you can't do anything I wish for, then how can you even expect ANYTHING FROM ME? You are a guy for heaven's sake. Always wants me to kiss you on the cheek, go out with you, hold your hand, hug you and cuddle up. I can't do it it's because you never do anything I want you to do. All the things that I wish you can do for me it's not gonna happen in a million years.
One more thing. He is not polite. He is rude and a very rough person which I don't like also. And he always thinks about money, money, money. I think he should go with my sister better ler. I mean, I'm not saying that money isn't important. Yes, money is important but think about it. If you love someone and money is all you think off, and your someone must have a limit, then I suggest you can just throw away your dreams on finding a girlfiend that YOU want to have.
Andrew just have feelings for the wrong gal I guess. Feeling so annoyed by him. And yeah, was kinda impressed one night when he came all the way down to gave me his friends pen drive. That was the only time I felt so nice and was really proud on what he did. He should do something like that more often. Anyway, sigh, I think he is just not the guy I'm looking for. Don't know la. Really really blur. Why he can't be the guy I think he will be? He was perfect the first night. Then all went to ashes all the way till now. I think Andrew will always be Andrew. Nothing to say. Well, I guess I'm off to eat. So hungry. Also need to print walkthroughs. Hehehe. Hope no one is taking care of the printers. Damn this lim kok wing. Don't let us use printers for our own use. We pay the resource fee man. DAMMIT!