Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Dammit. Next week again.

Great. This is just so great. Well, I don't know whether is it a good thing or a bad thing. I need to present my titan AE 2 next week. Cuz not enough time. I was like so wanna present today because well, I want to finish the earlier the better but the lecturer eventually didn't call out my name today so next week only I present which sucks. Again I got to stress again.
Andrew did came yesterday. I know he wouldn't dissapoint me. And well, he send me a sms today. This morning. Ahahaha. Love him so much. It made me happy. Lol. Anyway, lastnight was okay. Went out with Herman and was happy too. Get to see him at last. And I ate. Suddenly felt hungry. And well, I love the maggie goreng there. It is just so nice. At the banana leaf. Eventually, I need to learn how to go there. Herman always take me there but I eventually as usual I don't memorise the road unless it is a force or a MUST.
Today I saw Chris with that bitch again. Ling Wei. And as usual I was jealous seeing them together. In my mind since lastime, I always think that he and Ling Wei are together. I mean, they are so damn close, arms almost touching and so on la. I don't need to elaborate more. And well, Chris always talks to her and look at her one kind of look or should I say the friendly type of look. Well, I don't hate him so much anymore since what happened. How long was it anyway? 6 months? Or maybe longer. Ahh, what the hell? I don't give a shit anymore la. Anyway, I got Andrew and Herman and that's all matters. Nothing else.
It is just that I was eating alone and then he was with Ling Wei, but seriously if they are together, I really have something to say to Chris. I not yet think what yet, but I will really shout my lungs out and spit at him and slap him and so on. I don't know. I'm suppose to get over him. If only he is not in the same college as me then I won't be this upset. Really wish he doesn't exist. I have no idea why GOD wants me to meet this sort of guy.
Oh yeah, speaking of GOD, Andrew said he wants to go to church. And I'm so happy when he said that. Lol. I want to show him to my friends, and people there and most of all, learn more about GOD. I wouldn't know whether will he love it or might find it boring but all I have to say is I wish he will love it.
Raining again. Heavily. Ahahaha. And after this, I will go sleep. So nice. Raining somemore. And happy to say, I think my cough is getting better. Lol. Wish it is. Alright people. Wanna go sleep liao. Damn sleepy. BYE BYE!

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Well, last thursday Andrew came to my house. Buahahaha. Lol. Kinda suprised. I was just joking on him seeing me but he really did came. And lol, I fetched him from the lrt station. And then we went to eat lor. Then he go home lor after eating. Anyway, well, was very proud of him.
As you all know, that I and Herman are still together. He didn't call me lastnight which I have no idea why but just now he called me and told me he is low on money and yeah..I already guessed it. If he don't call me,or sms me, something must be wrong. It is either he is sick, no money or purposely make me mad so that I will leave him.(The third option, just don't think so much about it and don't ask) By the way, I went out with Andrew again on saturday. Lol. We went and watch show 'she's the man' It rocked! Lol. It's been quite sometime that I have watched a comefy movie like this. Whoever not yet watched, go and watched. Sadly I got to pay the movie tickets but the rest he paid. Even arcade! Ahahahaha.
Well, I had a wonderful day with Andrew. Hwe hugged me. And his body was so damn hot. When he hugged me, I also become hot liao. Lol. Sad later he read this, he'll kill me. I thought he had a fever that time.Yeah, the show rocks and it was not a waste of money. Anyway, we went home at about like 10 something and I have to get ready for another show coming up with Herman. And man was I hungry that time. Even Herman was hungry. So we bought hot dogs to eat and plus 1 mash potato. And Herman is BROKE! CUZ OF ME! But as usual la. I'm his special someone so he don't mind. That's what I love about him sometimes. So lovable. Ahahaha. Anyway, just came back. Tired. And it is raining so heavily. Luckily my dad is in the house if not, I can't come in the house.
Today met my kor kor. And we touched. More than the other days. Touch as in touch arms and stuff la. Not that holding here and there touched. I will never do that with someone I'm not that close with. Sometimes it really scares me that my kor kor has feelings towards me. Always saying that I'm falling for him and he loves to poke me. And today, he was holding my arm. When I was tieing up my hair. And he tried to carry me today and he can't. Buahaha. So big size also cannot carry. My god. He said I'm heavy. Well, as you can see. You see his size and my size you all wouldn't even believe that he can't carry me. Anyway, yeah, we talked a lot and today is the most time I spent time with him.
Nothing much to write anymore. This is basically what happened to me this week. And tomorrow got presentation on my stupid TITAN AE 2. Thanks to my kor kor. Coz due to his creativesness on robots, he gave me ideas on how to create a story on titan AE.I'm not trying to insult the TITAN AE show but seriously, I HATE IT! LOL! Lousy and boring show. Okay, maybe not lousy but boring coz I hate robots. Oh yeah, on thursday got another mini presentation on my final project. Hopefully my partner did it. I already told him and he better take fucking full responsibility. If he don't do anything, he better fucking watch out. I will seriously skin him alive left,right and center. And today, I got exam and I didn't answer 12 questions!!! NO!!!!! Don't know whether the ones which I answered is correct or not. Sigh. So dissapointing. Study so much but dome can't answer!!! So pissed off!! Ok la. Ciao la. Wanna go sleep. Don't know whether Andrew coming or not.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Love Story Chapter 53

Guy A: Hey Cal. What's up dude?
Cal was on his way out from college when his lastime friend's met up with him.
Cal thinking: Shit. Got caught. Oh well. I can't run from them forever can't I?
So he walk towards them.
Cal: Hey.
Guy B: So how are you lately? Heard that your so called girlfriend is getting married to Johnathan.
Guy C: Yeah. A loser that's what I call him.
Cal: Hey, he is not a loser okay?
Guy A: Oh.What's this? Cal is siding a loser.
Guy D: That's new.
Guy A: Hey Cal. Since when do you even side people?
Guy B: Yeah. You've changed man.
Cal: I don't care whether am I changed or not. Okay, I'm different now.
Guy A: Did that bookworm girl changed you?
All of them laugh. Cal can't stand them. He is insulting the girl he loves so much. He turn around and said...
Cal: Hey, that isn't funny.
Guy C: I mean, seriously. I can't believe that she can dump you for him.
Cal: She didn't dump me okay? I...um...
Guy A: You dumped her? If you did, then that's really the 'Cal' we used to know.
Cal: No one dumped anyone okay? It' sjust that things aren't working out bewtween us?
Guy C: Oh really? Maybe is because you still have feelings for Melanie?
Guy D: Oh yeah, speaking of Melanie, why did you even leave her for Jamie?
Guy A: Yeah, I thought you hated bookworms.
Guy B: Bet you're sorry for what you did aren't you Cal?
Cal shout: Look, I don't fucking care okay!?
Guy A: Oh my. What's wrong Cal? Did I hurt your feelings?
Guy B: Di you just say the 'F' word?
Guy A: You're so lucky that your Jamie isn't here to catch you saying those words.
Cal shout: Shut up!
Guy C: Aww, look, the baby is gonna cry.
Cal was so sure that this is gonna happened. So he just run away from them but they were shouting at the back of him teasing.
Guy A shout: Send my regards to the lovey dovey bookworm couple!
Guy B shout: Hey Cal! Where are you going!? Going home alone again!?
Guy C shout: Hey, don't plan anything on their wedding day okay!
Guy D shout: Hey Cal! Come back!
They were still laughing. And then Call, he was still running until he bang someone. That someone fall down. Cal help her up.
Cal: I'm sorry. I...
Melanie: Cal?
Cal look down. And he realise that it was Melanie.
Cal: Melanie?
Melanie: Hi.
Cal: Um...hi.
Melanie: Are you okay? What's the rush?
Cal: Nothing. Gotta go.
Then he just run away.
Melanie: Hey Cal.
Melanie thinking: What's his problem?
Then Melanie walk towards those four guys. They were still laughing.
Melanie: Hey fella's
Guy A: Hey Melanie.
Melanie: May I know what's so funny?
Guy B: Did you bump into Cal on your way here?
Melanie: Oh yeah I did. He was in a rush to go somewhere.
Guy A: Yeah, away from us.
Melanie: Huh?
Everyone look at Guy A. And stop laughing.
Guy A: I mean...um...
Melanie: What's going on? What do you mean away from you guys?
Guy D: Sigh. Well, we kinda like tease him about Jamie. And he didn't like it.
Guy C: But we do it because of you Melanie.
Melanie: What? What do you mean because of me? I didn't asked you to do that.
Guy C: Well, we know that you liked him and we...
Melanie shout: Oh shut the hell up!
Everyone kept quiet.
Melanie: Man, what am I suppuse to do so that y9ou guys will understand that I'm so over him. I already have a boyfriend and I don't need you all to tease Cal anymore. He has a lot of problems on his mind already. Can you guys just leave him alone? Geez.
Guy A: Well, we thought that you still like him.
Melanie: Well, I might if I don't have a boyfriend.
Guy C: Well. Sorry.
Melanie: Now, I need to say sorry for you guys. What a bunch of babies?
Guy B: We're sorry. It won't happened again.
Melanie: Of course it won't and make sure it won't because if it happens again, I'm gonna fucking kill your asses.
Guy D: Yes, Melanie.
Melanie: Alright. Go to your class. I'll handle this.
So they went.
Melanie thinking: Poor Cal. He must be so upset. I need to find him and apologise.
Then after school at Cal's house. He was watching tv but not paying any attention. Then his doorbell rang. He opened it up and saw...
Cal: Melanie?
Melanie: Hi. Can I come in?
Cal: Um..yeah. Sure.
Melanie: Thanks.
Then she came in Cal's house and sat down on the couch.
Cal: Do you need anything?
Melanie: Yes actually, I need you to sit down.
Cal: I mean, can I get you anything to drink?
Melanie: That's okay. Just come here and sit down.
So Cal went next to Melanie and sat next to her.
Melanie: It's been quite sometime since I last came here. How long has it been?
Cal: I don't know. Few months?
Melanie: Yeah. Actually, I came here is because I wanna apologise on what happened earlier this morning. You know..the guys. They thought that I still have feelings on you which I don't. So they teased you. Sorry about that.
Cal: No, it's okay.
Melanie:I know, there's a lot of things on your mind right now. I don't want to make things hard for you.
Cal: Don't worry. I'm fine.
Melanie: Are you sure?
Cal: Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.
Melanie: Okay, If you need anything, you still got my number right? Call me.
Cal: I will.
Melanie: You know. I really missed you. I'm sorry to hear about Jamie.
Cal just look down.
Melanie: Anyway, I gotta run. See ya.
Cal: Bye. Come, I'll open the door for you.
So Cal opened the door for Melanie and she went ofF.Cal close the door behind him and let out a sigh of relief. He couldn't face Melanie anymore after what he had done to her.But she is acting as if they are like good friends again.
Cal thinking: Melanie's different. She changed a lot. More to the good side.
END OF CHAPTER 53
Set By
- Jessica Tan -

Monday, April 17, 2006

Love Story Chapter 52

Doctor: Just be ready. I t could happen at anytime.
Johnathan: Thanks Doc.

It was a thursday afternoon after their college. And Jamie and Johnathan went to the hospital for Jamie's check up with the doctor. Then Johnathan came out of the room. Jamie stand up.
Jamie: Shh, don't say anything. I don't want to know.
Then she started to walk away. Johnathan followed up behind her. Then when they were waiting for a transportation, Johnathan realise just how sad Jamie was just by looking at her. He hold Jamie's hand.
Johnathan: Hey baby.
Jamie look up.
Johnathan: I don't know if you knew this but I got something very important I need to tell you okay? But first, let's go to my place.
Jamie: Okay.
It was 3.30 p.m and Cal was stll in college. He couldn't go back home yet. Not in the mood to do anything actually. He look at his watch.
Cal thinking: Hmm, I think I better go.
He went to his locker. He opened his locker. He realise the invitation card. He opened it. Inside, there was a letter written by Jamie herself.
Jamie's letter: Hi Cal. I asked the staff to open for me your locker because I can't get to find you in college today. Sorry. Anyway, hope you don't mind that I opened up your locker. Anyway, hope you can make it on our wedding day. Really hope you'll be there. Bye.
After reading that, Cal really felt like dieing. He didn't want to go. He didn't want to see her married and say the word 'I do' towards another guy but him. He just want to pull Jamie to him and say to her how much he loves her. At the same time, Jamie and Jonathan was already in Johnathan's house. He took a glass of water to Jamie. Jamie drank it.
Jamie: Thanks.
Johnathan sat next to her on the couch.
Johnathan: No problem.
Jamie: So, um, you said, that there's something you wanna tell me.
Johnathan: Oh yeah, that...Um, it's quite embarassing saying it to you.
Jamie: It's okay..Just say it. What is it?
Johnathan: Actually, I want to tell you how much I love you now. But not sure whether you wanna hear it or not.
Jamie:Of course I wanna hear it. Why wouldn't I wanna hear it?
Jonathan: Um, I don't know. Maybe because you still love....Cal?
Jamie was stun for awhile.
Jamie: What are you talking about?
Johnathan: Sorry, I mean, I...I'm just too worried that you made a huge mistake about your life. I just don't believe that you will forget about him just like that. Or would you? Jamie, I love you.
Jamie smiled back and said.
Jamie: I love you too. And I'm so over him already. Serious.
Johnathan: Jamie, I don't want you to lie to me.
Jamie: I'm not.
Johnathan: Jamie, I just don't want you to marry someone that you don't love.
Jamie: Listen Johnathan. I want to be with both of you. But I can only choose 1. Yes, I wanted to be with Cal at first. But Cal didn't want to marry me, so I accept whatever he thinks. I respect him. If he thinks that it is better that way, then why not? I just want to see him happy. And I think that you will do a great job as a husband.
Johnathan: You really think so?
Jamie: Definitely.
Johnathan smile and he took her hand into his.
Johnathan: Jamie, I...I really don't know what to say. I wanna tell you right now, how much I love you. But, I don't know how to say. Maybe because I can't believe that I'm gonna get married with you. Okay..Jamie, I wanna tell you that, our wedding day is coming 2 months from now. And I really can't wait. I love you Jamie. I will never leave you. I'll love you till I die Jamie.
Jamie shout: No!
Johnathan: What?
Jamie: Don't say that.
Johnathan: Don't say what?
Jamie: That. About loving me till you die.
Johnathan: Why? I really mean it.
Jamie: Dear, I...I don't want you to not have another life when I'm gone. I want to move on with your life.
Johnathan:But how can I? I mean....you are not here and I...
Then Jamie suddenly hug Johnathan.
Jamie: No...Please, promise me, that you'll move on. Please.
Johnathan kept quiet back. He patted Jamie;s head and down her hair. And he said....
Johnathan: Okay. I will.
Then Jamie pulled back.
Johnathan: Jamie, you know, you're the first girl that I date? You're my first girlfriend.
Jamie: Really? I didn't know that.
Johnathan: That's because I never tell you.
Jamie: Me too.
Johnathan: You?
Jamie: I mean, I don't have a boyfriend before too. I'm more to my studies you know?
Johnathan: Yeah, I know. Right now still the same right?
Jamie: Uh-huh. I will not neglect my studies.
Johnathan: That's good to hear. Um...Jamie?
Jamie: Hmmm?
Johnathan; I love you.
Jamie: How many times must you say that?
Johnathan: Why? Can't I say it a lot of times?
Jamie: Of course you can.
Then Johnathan getting closer to her and then...
Johnathan: I love you so much.
And then they kissed on the couch.
END OF CHAPTER 52
Set By
- Jessica Tan -

Headache ar!! Damn san fu ar!! Andrew ar!!

Hey guys. College start already. Good news is that I can wake up early. But the bad news is that I can't get to see Andrew often and I'm sick!! Today, my work was okay. My lecturer did not scolded me. As he knows that I'm sick. Thank God. And he lectured(sort of) my partner. Hahahaha, Padan muka. Who asked him not to help me? Anyway, as I expected already that Andrew, (um, my fren from Lim Kok Wing)Aiya, soooooo hard. Now got two people named Andrew. Okay, I relate my friend as Andrew Chin. As I expected already that Andrew Chin did not do the multimedia's work. So I'm counted as HARDWORKING! Buahaha. But not yet finish .
Hmm, sort of miss Herman too. He is not here.he said he will be seeing me tonight but don't know whether true or not. Coz, never heard anything from him. Sigh.Wanna tell him how much I miss him and wanna tell him how sick I am man. Really sick. Even my lecturer knew that. Coughing non-stop today. Until my head gonna explode any moment. Maybe because I cough too hard until it affect my head. I wish Andrew or Herman is here. Anyone. Feel so pain now.
Anyway, My love life, well, it is going well for now. I think. Play girl. You all might say. Say all you want. In my heart. I know what I'm doing and that's good enough. Blek. Walau wei. Head pain ar. Just now I thought I don't want to eat dinner. Coz as usual, every monday I sure eat my lunch at 4 something but normally, I usually still can eat dinner. But today was damn different. Today, I didn't want to eat dinner. I was not full. I know myself I was not full but I know I was so bluddy sleepy. I didn't want to get up from the couch to eat. I thought maybe can eat later at mamak with Herman but then, I tried calling him first and no response from his handphone. And from that moment, I thought, that if he is not back yet, I will die la. No food to eat later. So I quickly get up and eat! Walau wei, tell you guys, I'm like a retarded girl man today. So damn pain man my head. Sigh.
Oh yeah, did I tell you that Andrew came and look for me lastnight? Ahahaha. And that time when he reach my house, I was not at home. He la. Never call me before he come. He told me that he wants to give me a suprise. And at first, I thought he was lying. So I asked him again and again and again whether was he serious, that he is in front of my house, and he said YES! Buahahaha, I know that frustrates him a lot. Anyway, yeah, he came to my house and he met Reney. Yay! Happy! But don't know whether they can get along or not. (Andrew ar Andrew, just bare with her la. You must accept all my friends ar. My friends play a very important role in my life also). Anyway, we talked on the phone lastnight. Me and Andrew. A lot of things. Get to know more about each other each and everyday. Actually, I was plannning on talking to him till 1.30 a.m but then ended up adding another 1 hour. Well, he told me, he will try to be like Herman which is gonna be hard. Herman is already my dream guy and, you know, how hard to find your perfect girl or guy this few days.
Wanna know what Herman does?He calls me twice or three times a day. One time is his break time, and then at night before he sleeps or sometimes around dinner he will call. Sometimes only la. And before he come and see me, he will call. He comes and look for me everyday. And never get tired of just doing the same old thing over and over again. I never did get sad when I'm with him. Coz he never makes me sad. Even if I were to get angry at him, he will pull me towards him and hug me. He will hug me so tight, and never let me go. And he will say this "Bie, I'm sorry. I love you so much. I don't want let you go"Sometimes, when I cry in front of him, he will take my hair, and put it behind my ear, and he will use his fingers two wipe away my tears. When I cry very terrible, he will hold my whole face, do the same thing which he did and then, put his forehead against my forehead. He even borrowed me his ps 2 just because I'm crazy over ff10. And when I'm out in public or with his friends, hugging him anywhere doesn't matter to me. We are sometimes lost in our world, we just don't care what others think. And he is so understanding when I go out arcade with him. He pays for me. And about college work, when I lost hope, there's just something on his mind and brain that he knows what to say to make me get up on my feet again and just do my assignment.On valentines day, no need to tell you guys la what he did. I already posted. If forget, go read it again. Month of february. Don't tell me you guys don't know what month valentines is.Herman always when he has money, he will take me go eat expensive restaurants. If it wasn't from him, I wouldn't even will try my working place food. And if it weren't for him, I wouldn't even try the TGIF food. He told me, next month, he will take me to Itallianies because he knows that I want to eat there. Sometimes, Herman just do whatever I want him to do. If he can, but whatever I asked him to do, it seems like he will do it. So, that's why I love him so much. That's what makes me loves him so much. Andrew told me he is trying to be a better lover like Herman, but I think after he read this, hmmm, I think he might want to think again. So maybe will know why I love Herman so much.Scary or not Andrew? Sigh, I don't know la. Stuck between two guys is really really not a nice thing to experience. Don't try it at home. Sigh. Okay la. Wanna go do assignment already. Ciao people.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Andrew's confession.

Yeah, title up there is Andrew's confession. He told me yesterday that he likes me. And he chickened out at first...So shy la he. Well, I didn't tell him that I liked him. The truth is, that I like him. But, there are just some thing in relationship that I need and I just know that he can't give it to me. If he can give it to me, I'm definitely sure that I will go with him and be with him forever.
He already knows what I want. He knows that I really NEED to see my boyfriend everyday. And also, I need my boyfriend to call me everyday. And when I go out with my bf, I sometimes wants to go to arcade and sometimes hopefully he belanja me. And hope he don't mind if I wanna go arcade most of the time. Well, that's my hobby. I wish he can grant me whatever I want lor. Coz in a relationship which I'm having with my temporary boyfriend, it is hard for me to find this type of guy. Now I need to leave him. And I just hope Andrew is the one. I want Andrew to be like my temporary boyfriend if he can. If he can't, I will be really really hurt. REALLY hurt. I wish that my boyfriend cares for me, love me, and accpet me or who I am. I just want him to think that I'm actually the one and can never let me go forever. Because I don't want to get hurt from any other guys anymore. Really. I just wish Andrew knows how I feel.
I don't know whether to start again. Sometimes, it really scares me to start a new relationship then end it up for a few weeks or months later. That sucks. I want this to be the last and final one. So that's why, I want to see him everyday, call me, be with me wherever I go, spent me things if I want and just grant whatever I want. I don't ask much really. I don't know. This temporary boyfriend of mine is really my dream guy. But if only he is a chinese, I will definitely married him but I can't. He is a malay.
Like I said lor. If only Andrew can be something like him. Sometimes I really want to go eat nice food, but got no money and I wish my boyfriend can spent me once in a blue moon. I think Andrew should talk to my temporary boyfriend. I mean, my temporary boyfriend knew so much about me that he even knows where is my favourite place to go and eat and play and hang out. WIsh Andrew can accept me this way.
We are going out tomorrow. Let's jsut see how it turns out. Will it be good or bad? I will update you guys soon. Bye guys.

Monday, April 10, 2006

LOve, Love, love.

Love, love, love. Love is nice, love is blind, love is everything and love sucks.
Nice hor the poem up there? I love u, you love me, and I will do everything for you. I'll walk the stars and I will always see your face when I reach the clouds. Why can I only see your shadow each time I travel up the sky? Because you are fading away because you are gonna leave me for any fucking reason.
Alright, I wrote that because I'm feeling that all the damn time whenever I'm in love. It is either the guy hates me, the guy don't appreciate me OR, the guy will tell me I'm too good for him. Anyway, I'm sick and have no voice right now. I sound like a girl that scream non-stop until got no voice. Sigh, so poor me. Wish andrew was here to visit me. I know you readers don't know who is andrew. He is my date. That saturday, I went out with him and it was the perfect date. OMG. Really. Never expected it but wow. THANKS ANDREW! Well, one thing 4 sure is, he is NOT my bf. Well, as I mentioned up there. Maybe love is not for me right now. I'm always the girl screwing things up. Like me and Jeremy. Thanks to my stupidness I lost a bestfriend. Always wanted to be his best girlfriend buddy for the rest of our lives. I always hear our songs together the"vitamin C" song. Friends forever. Yeah, I will not 4get. We will still be, friends forever. No matter how he wanna treat me now. We will always be friends. I know deep down his heart, he didn't even forget me. He just wanna make his darling happy. I know how couples feels. So, I'm just the second best for him. And I'm gonna let him know that I love you no matter what. Support all the way. I know you may hate me all you want, but I know, that you never will 4get me the rest of your lives. Because whenever you are, I'm always remain as a memory to you.
Jeremy, is the guy that I never thought that our friendship can just ended up like this. It is a very sad thing. But, I will accept it. It is his will to do it. BUT, I and him will always remain together as one. No more apart. I still can feel and remember all the things that we had been through. Hope he will still wear the necklace I gave him. Thanks for putting up that picture. I remember it. And no doubt about it he will be with his darling, coz I know he never did like me at all. I know that. I accept that. I will move on with my life. I know that there's a guy out there wants me by his side. You don't want me, he will want me. It's okay. I don't blame u. Maybe I already did found the one already. Ahahaha. Thanks Jeremy for opening up my eyes once again. Buahahaha! Never did expected.
Actually where is that Andrew la. Said he will call one. Soooooooooooo long. MAYBE it is another lie from another guy. I just don't know. Sigh. When and how can I ever repair this damage in my life? Wow, my throat is really killing. Ever think of just waking up and felt like you never did exist?
My dog is gone. GONE I TELL YA. GONE! Y must this year be so suckie? Is it me or am I just too unlucky? So many things has happened to me. I'm losing all the people I love. Even my DOG!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

What a terrible week it has been. Well, love is in the air fro almost everyone. Jeremy has found his dream girl, and then one of my friend finally have this girl's telephone number and my sister just received a bunch of flowers. And what about me? I don't get to see my teomporary boyfriend for 2 days got la.
Alright what really happened was, I already knew that he is not going to see me yesterday night which he didn't tell me, so I decided to go to 1Utama myself to play arcade. I decided to wait for him to call me 1st but then I decided I should sms him and tell him to look for me in the arcade. Then later on he was there but not beside me watching me play which I wish he did. Then later after that, I went to him. He was watching a guy playing house of the dead 4. I knew that there was something wrong and something going on in his mind which I don't know what it is because he is not telling me. He refused to tell me. Then we went outside the arcade and talk. I cried. I cried because I told him that I'm thinking things that are shitty. I told him that I alywas think that he loves me lesser and stuff. He told me that he never thought of breaking up with me and he never thought of breaking up. He told me that he do all of this is because that he has no money to take me out. He told me that he just lost RM 50 and his salary not yet come out yet. He need to pay bills and elctricity bills and a lot la.
Sometimes I'm so frustrated over his stupid father. Not only his father but his mom too. I mean, this is your own son you are talking about. How can you expect him to pay everything by himself when he is not even working in an office?If he is working in an office then it is okay la. Now he is working in a F&B line. And just a normal ranking. How can they expect him to pay EVERYTHING himself. Common la. Even me, my dad retired almost going to be A YEAR and my sis and me aer still studying. How do you expect my dad got to settle with all thouse fees and our cake money? Sometimes I feel like just go to his house and then fuck his parents man. They don't understand his situation that he needs to go through. Even he was complaining that his brother is not paying and my evertime must be him. Yeah, I wanna ask his parents the same question.He already even think that he is adopted. Only adopted parents will treat their sons and daughters this way.
If I have a chance, I will definitely talk to his parents. Only if they understand a word I'm saying. Hopefully they do. It's time to show parents what their sons and daughter's think. I'm not only talking about my temporary boyfriend but I'm also talking about Reney. Her parents. The only think that she is just toooooooooooooooo slow to think that her parents are always the right one. Yes, parents are the right one but not all the time. They love to think that they are the right one but sometimes, they are soooooooooooooo wrong. Well anyway, I hope that tonight he will come. He told me that he die also he will come and see me. Anyway, he told me that he wants to start a new life with me. Ahahaha, as in a new relationship lor. Anyway,I got to go already. Wanna go eat lor. Ciao ciao

Monday, April 03, 2006

Love Story Chapter 51

Cal was so stun.
Cal: What? What is going on?
Johnathan: Jamie just woke up this afternoon when I went to visit her. And Jamie wanted so much to see you. So, I brought her here.
Jamie: It's been three days Cal that I didn't hear and seen you. How are you?
Cal: I'm...I'm fine.
Then it was so quiet.
Johnathan thinking: Maybe I should leave them alone for awhile.
Johnathan: Um, Jamie, I need to go and buy something. When you are done, just give me a call and I'll be right over okay?
Jamie: Okay.
Johnathan: Hey man, I gotta run for awhile.
Cal: Alright. See you later.
Then Johnathan just went off. It was so quiet in the house.
Cal: Um...why not you sit down?
Jamie: Is it true?
Cal turn around. He has no idea what is Jamie talking about.
Cal: Excuse me?
Jamie: Is it true that you canceled our marriage? Is it true that I got to get married to Johnathan?
Cal: Jamie, I don't have time for this conversation.
Jamie shouting: Is this true!
Cal just sigh and went closer to Jamie. He hold her shoulders and said..
Cal: Yes. Yes is true.
Jamie: I can't believe it.
Cal: Jamie, I...I didn't want to do this...
Jamie: Then, why did you?
Cal: Jamie, I did it because it was the best way for you.
Jamie shouting and crying: Best way for me? (sobbing) That's not the best way for me. The best way for me is getting married to the person I really loved. The person who I cherish the most.
Cal: Don't tell me that you don't love Johnathan at all.
Jamie: I do. I do love Johnathan but not so much as I do for you.
Cal: Jamie, I...
Jamie sobbing: You think that you can just give me to someone else. Is that it?
Cal: No, Jamie. That's not what I meant.
Jamie sobbing: I hate you!
Cal tried to calm her down. He hold her shoulders and hug her. Jamie was still crying away hitting his chest. Cal just hug her eventhough she was hitting him. Then for a moment, she stop hitting and just cry. Cal was patting her head.
Cal whisper: I'm sorry.
Jamie sobbing: Why, why?
Cal whisper: Jamie, I'm not the one for you. Trust me in this. Jamie, I can't even call you. I don't know what is going on around you and I'm so busy with my programs when sometimes I might not be able to be with you whenever you need me. And I need someone else to tell me that you are not alright. I don't want that. I want you to have a husband that can always be with you. And I'm sure you want that too do you?
Jamie: And you think that Johnathan can do all that?
Cal: I think that he can do a lot much more better job than me. Serious.
Jamie stop crying.
Jamie: Okay then.
Cal: You agree?
Jamie: Yes. But, there's one more thing.
Cal: What's that?
Jamie: You do this, not because you don't love me right? You still love me do you?
Cal: I don't know.
Jamie: What you mean you don't know?
Cal:Jamie, eventually, the feeling will go away, if you know what I mean.
Jamie: I'm talking about now.
Cal just nod his head. Jamie smiled.
Jamie: Okay. Can I lend your phone?
Cal: Yeah sure.
Then Jamie called up Johnathan. After that Johnathan came. He came and Jamie was at Cal's frontdoor.
Johnathan: Finish?
Jamie: Yeap. Done. Johnathan, I decided something.
Johnathan: Decided?
Jamie: I'm going to get married with you.
Johnathan was so stun. Is she serious? Is this happening? They were suppose to get married once and was canceled because of Cal but now they are getting married again because Cal wanted them to.
Johnathan: Are you sure?
Jamie: Yeah. I've already think about it.
Johnathan: But Jamie, I thought maybe you need a little more time.
Jamie: Are you having second thoughts now?
Johnathan: No. I mean, it is just all a sudden. I can't have second thoughts. Not about you Jamie.
Jamie smiled. Cal was just standing there looking at the couples. The girl that he have to let go.
Cal: Well, Johnathan, congratulations man.
Johnathan: Thanks.
Jamie: Thanks Cal.
Cal: No problem.
Johnathan: Well, common dear, let's go tell my parents and your parents about the goond news.
Jamie: Okay. Bye Cal.
Johnathan: See you later dude.
Cal: Yeah, see you later.
Then he watched them went. He was sad of course. It isn't fair really but still, he knows that Jamie needs someone to take care of her. So he just close the door and went to his room and lye down on his bed. At Jamie and Johnathan, they were already spreading the good news. And they already printed some invitation cards. The following day, Jamie went to Cal's locker. She ask the staff whether can they open Cal's locker so that she can put the invitation card into his locker. She didn't want to give him in private because she may have second thoughts. So the staff open for her. And she put the invitation card inside. Later in the afternoon, she went and try out the wedding dress. Johnathan was with her. Then later on, she was going to change back to her normal clothes when a drop of blood drip onto the floor. She saw that and was terrified. She put her hand on her nose and there was blood. She quickly took the medicine that the doctor give and eat it. And then she took her tissue and wipe it off. She was so scared. Then went she has done changing, she told Johnathan about it. Johnathan was scared of course. But he just comfort her. Then she went home. She didn't have second thoughts anymore. She knew that she is going to die. So it doesn't matter who she is gonna be with anyway. She went to her diary and write. This is what she wants Cal to know before she goes after her wedding day.
Jamie thinking: And I'm gonna make sure he reads it.
Jamie's diary: Dear diary, I'm gonna get married and today is the most exciting day of my life. I'm gonna get married. With Johnathan. Hahahaha. Weird right? But anyway, I need to say to Cal before I go.....................................
END OF CHAPTER 51
Set By
- Jessica Tan -

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Hmm.I guess, this is the path he has chosen and also, I really need to congratulate him on finding "THE ONE"

Hi all. April is here. Anyway, yeah, I have a very very very sad thing I wanna share. It is suppose to be happy but to me it is sad. I want to start of with "THIS GUY" I like lastime. Remember? Yeah, well, I just only found out he already found the one. His "dream girl" Wow! Congratz! To me, it's bull. I just don't understand, for someone he knows for 8 years and he don't see anything special in her. And for a girl he know for like I don't know how long in the internet. Seeing each other how often? Maybe not even everyday.
Fine, I admit. I am jealous. I was like waiting for him for the past few years and right up until his exam and what do I get? Nothing. And he even knows that I like him. He didn't even tell me about his girl. I found out myself. Some friend he is. What? He feels guilty that he has a girlfriend and not telling me?Is that how it is? I see the whole damn thing here. I'm not so free to go and check out of his life the whole freaking time. Man, I can't believe I was waiting for this GUY! I hate him. Really. What does that girl has that I don't? She is not even pretty. (Even some people says that) Alright, I don't care about features but...what about her attitude?
Man, he says I'm childish. He says that he don't feel any special feelings when I'm with him. So, when I was doing all those sweet things to him, it doesn't mean anything? What for did I cancel all my plans for him? What for did I even do my assignments earlier or last minute just to go out with him? Do he even know that I waited the whole week to finish so that I can go out with him on saturday? I don't even mind fecthing him here and there but does he know all that? Oh common. I love him. I do. So much that it hurts to even know that he doesn't appreciate all that. I realise that he was the one. Because whoever I am with, he is the one always there beside me. He is the one that I'm always thinking of. Why didn't he appreciate me? WHY! Why? What does he wants from me? He wants me to commit suicide then only he will acknowledge me izzit? How many times have he rejected me and I never did give up? Because I want him to see the inner part of me which he failed to see. And now, now he has another girl that he wants to share his life forever with. He never did say I am pretty at all and he said that girl is pretty. To even say that pretty word to me is so hard. How can he even say to that girl that he barely even know her inner part?
I hate him. I won't talk to him. I will try to stay far from him so that I won't get hurt. I don't want to keep on getting hurt from him. He has always been hurting me for the past few days and he doesn't know. He always thinks that I'm happy. He thinks that he means nothing to me. He is so wrong. He means more to me than anything in the whole wide world. Lastime he says that I am important to him. That's all a lie. I'm not gonna talk to him nor listen to him. I'm not gonna believe in anything he says anymore. It's all lie's! LIES!!!! I thought, he was the only guy I could trust. Now I know, that all the guys are just the same damn thing. I HATE YOU!!!