Monday, December 12, 2005

Single...Damn hate the feeling..

Hi people... Nothing. Just wanna tell you guys that I'm sick of being single. Don't know ler. I feel like, everyone in my working place and not only working place but my friends, they say I look so damn cute but then leh, no one wants me. So weird. It is either they are telling a lie or they don't like cute girls.
I like this guy name Hong in my working place but he is too damn young and always bully me and he is stopping on the 16 of december. And then this guy...he is a malay. His name is Syaiful. He leh, married already but still like to kacau me a lot. Kacau me, as in liking me and stuff. He keep on calling me darling and loves to be with me and touch me. He likes to pinch my cheek. But I like him too. I don't mind he does all that. Weird huh?But, how I wish that he is a chinese. So we can like communicate really well. And how I wish he is NOT a malay. Man, really sucks man. He really likes me a lot. I can see that. And well, I feel so nice when he is working with us. Well, maybe, I'll just treat him like a big bro.
I want a boyfriend!! I'm really sick of being single. So bluddy boring. Wanna hug someone also got to think before I do that. Example like Jeremy. Wanna hug him also I got to ask him permission first. Well, I don't want to find a boyfriend that fast. I just want to like hug a guy, and I just want a guy to really really care for me and be good to me. As a friend also nevermind. As long as he treat me like his own girlfriend. But well, got limit ler. Just treat me like more than a friend like a bestfriend. Like what I want me and Jeremy to become(which Jeremy is not doing a very good job) Because right now, I just want a guy to really care for me. I miss that feeling so much. Sigh, well Bryan won't object if I asked him too. I just want to be very vlose with a guy that I feel comfortable with and you know, hug him and kiss his cheek. Just like what americans do. Sigh, for me, hugging, holding hands, leaning on his shoulder and kissing on the cheek or forehead is nothing. More than that like sucking the finger and kissing the lips(long), that's something already. But mine is just normal. Well, of course if the guy got girlfriend, then don't need ler. This Jeremy, ask him to be like that also cannot. Not to say that I'm gonna like him also.
Well, if he don't want, then I ask Bryan la. Bryan, more open minded. I wish Bryan understand what I'm feeling. Actually, you all will feel pretty funny, why I desperately want a guy to be with me and care for me. It is actually, I feel so lonely and bored with my single life. I just want to have fun and always be on a date. That's why. And I also wanna hug someone coz this few days I feel so restless. I see all normal friends also hug their friends and sometimes kiss their cheek for a goodnite kiss. That's more than enough for me. Well, I just got to tell Bryan la better. Jeremy totally cannot already. Don't know whether is he reading this or not?. Hopefully he is. I want him to knwo and change just for me ...PLEASE!!
Okay Adios people.!! Got to go ZZZZzzzz. Tomorrow afternoon shift. Damn man.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005


I'm now working people. And it is very tiring. Lol, but then it is a good experience for once. And finally, I am working now. Well, I was planning to stop in the middle of January but I think I'll stop end of this month. Don't know ler. See how. Anyway, just watched just like heaven in my house, well, kinda nice. Love story and well, how I wish I can just meet someone just like that in a very weird way.
But I don't want to be in a coma that's for sure. Anyway, whoever not yet watched the exorcism of emily rose, should go and watched. It is damn nice and bluddy scary, because well, I'm a christian but still, yeah, go and watched it. And also the animation for corpse bride is damn nice. I really respect whoever who done that animation. And, well, I never watched chicken little yet because I hate chicken little's voice. It doesn't sound like a small boy. It sound like a teenage boy which is all wrong!
I really liked chicken little coz he is damn cute but the small screw everything. Man, that's sad. But I will maybe borrow the vcd from Reney. Anyway, sigh, today I took leave well, got something cannot tell in here and tomorrow, got to go back to work and I'm working afternoon. That's just soooooooooo not good. I don't like working in the afternoon, because I will be going home late and then I will be so hungry. Sigh. Hate working life.
Anyway, I guess I better get going to sleep. Well, sorry people if I've never been updating much because well, kinda busy with working now. Lastime was my assignments but now is like busy with my working life. Sigh, well, I just have to work if I want to earn money. Well, my sister's birthday is coming and I have no idea what to get for her. Maybe I'll get for her a blouse. I also don't know what she wants. Man, I hate buying birthday presents for people. I don't know what will they like man.
Anyway, about my love life, it sucks. I'm still single. Still waiting a guy to find me, and I know that will happened which I don't know when it will happened. Okay, I'm not making any sense am I? Ahh, so what the heck? Well, the guy that I liked, well, trying to forget him fod good. He is just so not my type. I was just too crazy over him. But now, I can see that I'm just nothing to him so time to move on and this time, no more searching for guys. I just wish I don't have any feelings for guys anymore until someone find me and that time I just felt like a spark between us.
As for Jeremy, well no need to say la. His exam just finish and I have no idea what the heck is he doing with his life. It is either, working or hanging around. See, even after his exam, I have no contact over him because I feel so bored asking him out and stuff. He don't even bother la. Asked him go out it is like asking him to go and eat shit. I thought after his exam, he is free to do anything but then, I don't know it is just felt like the other way around. Well, nevermind, hopefully I can find a partner to watch with me a horror movie. Just got to wait Bryan to come back and then go watch movie together. Sigh..damn sad man my life. Got to find a boyfriend fast so that I can have a partner to watch with me horror shows. Alright, got to go. GOD, please, send me an angel to be my partner. I want someone in my life. Can't stand being single!!Man!!!
Sigh, ok la. Ciao...ZZZZZZzzZzZzZzZzZzzzZ!!

Love Story Chapter 46

It was schooling time. Jamie was at her locker. But she really want to see Cal. It was the day that she is going to tell Cal that she had make her decision to be with him forever. And she means forever. After she did whatever she was doing, she close her locker. To her suprise, Cal was there at her locker standing next to her.
Jamie: Woah, You scared me.
Cal: I did? Oh I'm sorry.
Jamie: It's okay. Actually I was about to go and find you but since you are here...
Cal: Find me for what?
Cal cut her off.
Jamie: Um...there's something I must tell you.
Cal: Okay, what?
Jamie: Um...I...wanna be with you forever.
Cal didn't say anything.
Cal thinking: Did I heard correctly?
Cal: Excuse me?
Jamie: I said....
Cal: No, shh. I know what you said. But, I can't believe you...want to be with me...
Jamie: Why not? I mean, I liked you lastime.
Cal: Hehehe. True.
Jamie: So?
Cal: So what? Oh, I'm sorry.
Then Cal hold her hand.
Cal: Jamie, I waited this day in my whole entire life and now, finally, my dream has come true. Jamie, will you be my girlfriend? I promise you that I will never will leave you.
Jamie: Oh Cal. You are like making a vow to me. Anyway, I....
Johnathan: Jamie?
Jamie and Cal look at Jonathan who was just standing over a few steps away from them.
Jamie quickly take her hand away from Cal's Cal realise that and was a bit upset about the way she react. Jamie walk closer to Johnathan.
Jamie thinking: He looks so upset.
Jamie: Is something wrong?
Johnathan: Jamie, my parents...they are fighting and I heard that they want a divorce.
Jamie: Oh my God. What happened?
Johnathan: I was the problem. Actually, my mom likes you so much that she asked me what happened to the marriage thingie and then I told her what happened and then my dad got so angry that the marriage thingie didn't happen and my mom tried to back me up and then they started to fight over that small thing and later, they started to bring up each other problems that they had lastime and it comes up to be a big problem.
Jamie: It looks like your dad doesn't like me.
Johnathan: Nah, he just upset about what happened. He really ikes you a lot.
Jamie: I'm sorry to hear about that...but, what can I do Johnathan?
Johnathan: I don't want you to do anything but I just find you to tell you this because I don't know who else to find. And you are the only one that knows me well.
Then Jamie hug him. Cal saw that. He don't know whether to be upset or not. But in his mind he keep on reminding himself that Johnathan is having a family problem and Jamie is just being supportive. Then Johnathan stop hugging Jamie and said...
Johnathan: I'm sorry Jamie. I should just leave you and Cal alone. I'm sorry I ruined your time just now.
Johnathan wanted to leave when Cal said...
Cal: Wait John.
Johnathan stop.
Cal: I and Jamie are getting married. And I'm inviting you.
Jamie: We are?
Cal: I didn't want to tell you yet but since I don't really see Johnathan, looks like I got to break the suprise to you.
Johnathan turn to them. He smile and said...
Johnathan: Thanks, but I think I won't be coming. I'm just too depressed over my family problems.
Jamie run to Johnathan.
Jamie: Johnathan, I'm so sorry about your parents and also I know how much it is hurting you now but, I really hope you can come. Please?
Johnathan: Jamie, You know what really hurts me now?
Jamie: What?
Johnathan: Hearing you marrying him.
Jamie: Isn't that what you want?
Johnathan: No. What I really want in my life more than anything else is you marrying with me. But, nevermind...forget what I said. Goodbye. About your marriage thing, I wish you all good luck. If I'm the mood, I'll go.
With that, he walk off.
Jamie thinking: Oh John.
Then Cal walk to Jamie and hold her shoulders. Jamie turn and face him.
Jamie: Are you sure?
Cal: About?
Jamie: About this. Marrying me.
Cal: I'm damn sure about it.
Jamie: Cal, what I said about harsh words?
Cal: Well, the word 'damn' isn't that bad. I can use it once in awhile can't I?
Jamie: Fine.
Cal: Common, let's go.
In Johnathan's house, he was crying over what he heard about Jamie and also about his parents. He can't take two things at once. And this time, he knew, he and Jamie has no chance. At all. He don't know what to do. He feel like killing himself.
Johnathan thinking: No one understands me anymore and no one asked me whether amd I okay with their decisions. I'm no even needed in this world.
Then he hurt himself be banging his head on the wall. The next day, Jamie was in her class, waiting for the teacher to come in. On the other hand, she was waiting for Johnathan too. Then not long after that, Johnathan came in with a lot of plasters on his face. Jamie was shock to see thay many plasters on his face. And there was a big bandage wrap around his thumb.
Jamie thinking: What the heck happened?
Johnathan sat down on his place. Everyone asked him what happened. Jamie can't seem to talk to him because there a lot of people.
Jamie thinking: I'll just ask him later.
Then when it was break time, Jamie waited for all of the people go out of the class first, at last, left him and Johnathan.
Jamie: Johnathan. What happened to you?
Johnathan: Nothing.
Jamie: Please tell me.
Johnathan Alright. I hust myself.
Jamie: What? Why in the world did you hurt yourself for?
Johnathan: Because. I...
Jamie: Because of what?
Johnathan: Because I'm still in love with you.
Set By
- Jessica Tan -