Thursday, June 30, 2005

I don't know whether he likes me.

Haih, I don't know whether that guy like me or not. Somtimes he acts as if he likes me and sometimes he acts as if he doesn't. Like yesterday, I chated with him in msn and he was so curious about my nick. And well, he asked me 3 times. I mean, that's like a lot of times right?
This coming saturday I'mgoing to give him this lucky stars that I folded. I mean, just for fun. I mean I bought it and made it with my hands. Wah, I tell you are, now my finger pain liao. So he got to accept it no matter what.
Any suggestion on what to do on that day. I think I will make something a little more obvious to show him that he should like me or something to show that I love him so much. Which I don't know what to do already. Because on my birthday, we already did hugging and stuff. I think I'll jsut hug him for no reason on that day. Ahahahahahaha. Should I asked him for kiss? Hmmm, I also don't know.
Ceh, goodnite kiss also can ma rite? Hmm, I think I should just wait until I get a new car and that time I got opportunity to go and asked him for a kiss because I fetch him. Now he fetch let him fetch first ler. BUT I WANT A KISS FROM HIM LER!!ROAR!! Sigh, nevermind ler. See what happens on that day.
Oh My God, I tell you ar, I really fall in love with him already until so damn much. If only he knew. Kelvin oh Kelvin. Why don't you know how much I like you? I don't show you enough signs meh? Nevemind. I think i'll sit with him in church this coming sunday. Okay, ciao people!

Monday, June 27, 2005

My best birthday ever!!

Hey guys. Remember I said I'm interested in this guy called Alvin? ACtually his name is Kelvin. Ahahahahaha. Anyway, I and him are damn close now. Very close and I love and enjoying every moment of it.
I was the one made the first move to sms him and everything and then the story goes and we talked over the phone and everythign FOR HOURS! Isn't that amazing? Then later on, the next day was my birthday and well, I was scared to asked him out but I did and I didn't expect the answer to be a 'yes' and it was a yes. WOW! I thought I was dreaming. Serious shit man. I'm so bluddy happy until wanted to jump up to the sky. And whatever I asked him to do he will. I mean, I don't command him or anything like that but well he treats me like a princess and I feel so secure and nice to be with him. (Maybe it was my birthday) Well, who knows?
And he bought for me a birthday present which another thing that I didn't expect it to happen. Wel he was the one told me that he is not going to buy for me anything so I thought maybe he just spent me the tickest and popcorn and drinks but he spent me everythign plus a present. Oh my god! I mean, I feel so bad after that. You wanna know what he gave me? He gave me a necklace with a star shape and a keychain 'from Kelvin' written there.
I didn't expect it to be like that. And we went to catch a movie and Oh my God I tell you. I was so happy. We were like a couple there. And the sit I chose was a nice sit. It is like only two of us sitting there. AHAHAHAHAHA, V.I.P.Wuah!! Lolz! We watch SIGAW, well, a horror and this horror movie well, it scared me (as always) but I still prefer shutter. Anyway, I was cold and I purposely move my hand to his so he can warm my hand. And then he was hugging me. And both of us ended up like we are couples. I lean on his chest and he was holding my waist to cover me. We were like sitting so close to each other. Okay to cut the whole story short, we both were cuddling up. The main reason I thought was because he wanted me not to be so scared but I got another point. Maybe he likes me too.
And after the show, he wanted to go out yarm char somemore. Lolz, as for me, I didn't want to go home too. Well, we went and drink and talk about what problems we face and everything. Hmm, well, it looks like we have a lot of things in common. Then after that we went cyber cafe. He wanted to show me how to play DOTA. However you spelled it. Anyway, he did and well I was having fun playing it with him. And yeah, it is addictive. Lolz, but I'm not so crazy at it yet.
Then after that we went home and that is when he gave me the present. Lolz! I felt it was so romantic. I just love the moon and sigh, I wish the time never moves. I saw him again today coz I asked him to go out with me. Not only me la. My sis and Vincent. I don't care go out with who. The main thing is I need to see him. We didn't talk a lot today but I still feel very happy just by looking at him. I don't mind not talking to him but I just feel happy already just by looking at his handsome and cute face. And I asked him to go out with me nest week and he agrees. Lol. Well, I want to go watch show with me again! ROAR! Ahahahaha. I don't care. He needs to. Ahahahaha.
Okay enough about Kelvin. Let's talk about my other pressies! Well, in my cell, they bought for me and Charlotte one borthday cake and 2 birthday cards with everyone regards there. Well, it was really a sweet thing to do. OMG! I was so tuched by them. The next thing was, Kelvin's birthday gift. And then the next present was Foong Wan's present. This really touched me too. I mean normally she will not buy such an expensive gidt. She bought for me a musical jewerly box. And plus some jewelies inside. (Accesorries) Well, she also as usual do a card for me with her creativeness which I liked and appreciate it a lot. I love my bestfriend so much. Then next was 2 girls in my church. They are sisters esther and grace. They bought me the keychain for the handphone with the letter 'J' there. So sweet. Then the next one was 2 watches from my sister. One watch is from Swatch. WOW! So expensive. I was touched too. =p I really was so happy. Then my dad took me out for lunch. As usual la. CRAB! My favourite food. Lol. so full ler. And then we went out with Vincent and Kelvin! Lol. So happy. Then Vincent gave me a cd. A christian cd with Christian songs. Some songs I love!
Wow, phew. I think I listed down everthing already. By the way, I can't wait for next week and well, sob sob, Kelvin never message me wan. Sad liao. Well, he is nothing to me also ler. What can I do? Well, just got to be patient and wait slowly. Lolz! Um, hopefully he will be my know what ler. Okie ler. My birthday is over and I'm so sad. Haihz! Well, I don't mind. I know Kelvin not only treat me very good just for yesterday. I know he will treat me good everyday. I believe in you Kelvin. I love you so much if only you knew. Let me dream about you tonight. Bye people and nightz!
- J E S S I C A T A N -

Love Story Chapter 24

Jamie : So um, what do you want to tell me?
Jonathan : Um, er, I really miss you.
Jamie : What are you saying? I mean, you always see me
in college right?
Jonathan : Yeah, I know but, um, you see, I can't see you
anymore. With my condition like that.
Jamie : Don't worry, I will visit you everyday after
Jonathan : Yeah I know. but not everyday right?
Jamie : I promise everyday.
Jonathan was shocked.
Jonathan : Really?
Jamie : Yes. I promise. A promise is a promise.
Remember I said that you know, let me do
something for you? I will.
Jonathan : I see.
Jonathan look her directly in her eyes and said...
Jonathan : Thanks.
Jamie : No problem.
Both of them smile at each other. Then later on, Jamie went out of the hospital. She knows that all this happens because of her. And if he isn't serious abotu her, he would not do this just for her.
Jamie thinking : For the first time in my life. Someone really
likes me for who I am. Maybe I should give
him a chance.
Then the next day, Jamie went to college and was looking for Cal. She needs an advice from him. Then she saw him in front of his locker and a girl standing beside her and that girl was Melanie.
Jamie thinking : Maybe I shouldn't intterupt.
But the moment she wanted to turn and walk away, she heard Melanie shouting...
Melanie shouting : I didn't do anything!!!
Cal shouting : Because of you, now Jamie could be mad
at me! And because of you, I can't talk to
her properly!
Melanie shouting : How dare you keep on telling me things
about you and her. I never asked them to
touch Jonathan at all! I'm just too great
for them and they respect me so they feel
that everyone should treat me the same!
Cal shouting : Tell them for their information, no one
thinks that and no one is perfect in this
world! I never want to see you again!
Then he turn at Jamie's side and saw her. He was stun for a minute. Then later he just move towards to Jamie. And Melanie shouted...
Melanie shout : JERK!!!! I hate you!
With that, she turn and walk away too. Cal reach Jamie's side. He look at her and said...
Cal : I really hope that you never heard that.
Jamie : I wanted to walk away but I heard
Melanie shouted so...
Cal : No, it's okay. I just need to settle with her
Jamie : Okay.
Then they were silence while walking to their classes.
Jamie thinking : Oh yes, I need to ask him about his
Jamie : Um, Cal?
Cal : Yes?
Jamie : Um, I was thinking. Are you free after
Cal was so shocked. His eyes lit up.
Cal : Why? You wanna hang out?
Jamie : I want to have a drink and ask you
Cal : I see. I have something to tell you too.
Jamie : Really? Okay, so we meet later okay?
Cal : Sure.
Then the bell rang. Both of them went to their class.
Cal : Okay, I need to tell her my feelings.
my true feelings. I just need too.
Set By
- Jessica Tan -

Sunday, June 19, 2005

I like someone!!!

I always wonder to myself. Why I can't have a guy older than me. Maybe the guys that are older is not attracted to me. In church, I don't like Micheal anymore maybe is because he doesnt talk to me that much.And I like someone who can gets to communicate with me and that is ALVIN!! aHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!He is nice, caring and cute! Lol. Micheal's face is cuter but Alvin is much more friendlier and shy at times but today he was not shy and he talk to me! I and him almost got a lot of things in common. Oh man, I'm so bluddy happy. I mean, he cares for my sister when my sis was cold. Imagine if I'm the one sitting next to him this morning. Argh!! So nice. I even dream of him being my boyfriend just now when I was taking my nap. And next week for the YACHT Meeting, I'm gonna sit next to him. Nyiak nyiak nyiak~~~.I he comes which I wish he will.
Oh yeah, about Bryan, hmph, don't wanna talk about him la. The king of ffkness. Always will be and will never change. Well he never miss call me today. I don't wanna wait for him like what I said before so yeah. I'm not going to wait for him and Alvin is so..... (faint already)
Wish me luck. Bye bye. Can't wait to see him. But he is 1 year younger ler. Dammit!

Saturday, June 18, 2005

House of Wax

Hey guys. Just came back from watching movie with Jeremy. Damn proud of him. Well, I was tired but still I'm not going to miss the opportunity of him gonna drive me if he is willing.Lol. And well, suprises me that he wanted to go and catch a movie. And yeah, he fetched me.
And something that I didn't expect it to happen at all happened. Chris message me. Saying that he feels sorry and he wants to be my friend. And this time, he really means it. Oh, I really wanna laugh. That means that time, he was just fooling around? Look, this Chris gusy is one jerk. I mean, he is asking me to be his friend one more time? I'm not going to fall into this one anymore. Look what will he planning to do la. If he really wanna be my friend, he will come and talk to me on his own. I'm not going to do anything for him. ESPECIALLY NOT FOR HIM!
Yeah, I had fun today. Watched house o wax and it was okay. Don't know someone said to me it sux? Where got? I don't think so. When I came out of the cinema, I was shivering liek hell. It must be scary or it was just too cold. One of those la. Anyway, ahahahahaha, Jeremy keep on asking me to wait for Bryan. I also don't know myself. Because I don't feel like waiting. It is just going to hurt me.Won't it? Haih, I don't know la. When I was just starting to forget about that bluddy jerk, he sms me back. STUPID ASSHOLE! Why did you sms me back? I was just gonna erase you out from my life even as a friend. Dammit.
At least, he is cursing himself right now and that's not gonna make any difference Chris because I still hate you no matter what you do. Yes you are right, but you don't say it this way (works speak louder than words) You want me to repeat it for you? It is, action speak louder than words. Put it in your freaking brain alien. I didn't know that alien has feelings. Somemore knows how to say that you are sorry. Chris, please don't say that you are sorry if you don't mean it. Do you even understand what's the meaning of sorry? Sorry means, that you apologise and will never repeat ths same thing. But I don't think you even get what I mean. Maybe you are too dumb to even understand what does sorry means.
If you wanna asked me whether am I going to forgive him? I will give you a middle finger. No! Unless, he will do that 'action speak louder than words' thingie which I doubt that he will. Coz he won't! GARUNTEE!(However you spell it) .
See ler, I know that Bryan will not come down tomolo and have a car on his own to drive me around. Hmph. For sure ler. Siad he will call me on friday also don't have ler. See ler, what I say, guys cannot give them your full trust to them coz some of them sucks! Ahahaahhahahaha, accept Jeremy. He is the best guy I have ever met and of course ler he is my bestfriend. Why can't all the guys be like him ar? I also don't know. Hmm, well, I wanan go sleep liao. Kinda long oledi ler this blog. So sleepy. Anyway, whoever not yet seen house of wax, go see. It is damn nice. For me ler. Anyway, hmm, Chris leh, out of my life unless he does that action thingie, Bryan leh, um, I will not wait for him unless we are destined to be=jodoh. That's all for now. Ciao people. Goodnite!

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Thinking and missing him.

Missing who you migth ask. Well, Bryan lor. Who else? And my sister just broke up with her boyfriend and first time in my life she told me. I'm very proud and happy that she trusted me. Wellas usual, I was the victim talking to her and Chung. Well, everything is over and yeah, she and Chung broke up. Well, I have no idea who is going to be the most suitable for her if she isn't going to change her attitude. All the guys that I tell her which is good, she don't wanna listen to me.
And now, I'm in my dad's office. Not to say that I have been thinking about Bryan the whole day. I'm not. For you guys info, I didn't think about him. Only yesterday night. Anyway, my sister isn't really angry about the whole car stuff anymore. I mean, not so much anymore. And my dad says he is going to get a new car which I don't know but A.S.A.P.
I can see that Bryan is very serious about me this time. I mean, we are all grown up now. Both of us should know how to think. As for me, as usual, I'm not going to wait. I'm just going to go with the flow. If me and Bryan really have fate, and a miracle happen, then we will go together later on. But the last thing I won't do is wait for a guy. I'm nto going to wait for anyone. It all depends on fate. So Bryan, you gotta pray hard. Okay, gotta go eat my char kuay teow. YUMMY!!
ciao people.!!~~~

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

FUK MAN...SOMEONE STOLE MY SIS'S CAR.Fuk the Marchants that still the car. I hate whoever stole the car. GO FUK URESELf AND WISH U GO HELL!!

Man, why must all this shit happenes to me? First is Chris, and then now this. Omg, i really don't understand if nothing goes right in my life, why not I just die? I mean like I did lock all 3 doors and still the car lost. I mean, it wasn't that late right? 1.00 a.m is not that late right? Usually I come back much more later than that.
I still don't understan how can the car lose just like that. Tommorrow I must go to the insurans with my sister and dad and surely my sister is going to nag and nag. I hate that. Haih, jsut got to bear with it for like I don't know few days.
Seriously I don't wanna drive anymore. NO MORE!!Hate it so much. I mean like, driving is okay but no parking here and there anymore but for the time being, I'm not going to drive. I don't want to drive anymore. ARGH!!!Hate it so much!
Fuck the person whoever who stole the car. I hate you. OBVIOUSLY BUT WHATEVER IT IS I pray that God will punish you. Anyway, I'm just here to write whatever I wanna say. Obviously my sister and my dad is both mad at me. I know that my dad is angry but well he didn't wanna scold me. It is not pratically my fault. Not all of it.
Oh yeah, about what Bryan wanted to tell me yesterday was actually that he wanted to asked me whether will I wait for him or not? I also don't know. But one thing weird. He didn't get to tell me in a nice way. He told me in a way when I was crying through the phone when my sister was screwing me up. Haih, I know he really cares about me now. A lot. But right now, that is not going to bother me for the time being. The thing that is bothering me now is THE CAR! Freaking hell. Seriously, if the police really found out who stil the car, that fella is going to get a piece of me. YOU WATCH OUT YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!

Monday, June 13, 2005

Badnews or god news wor?

Well, Bryan said he wants to tell me somethign later. I also don't know what is that. Could be a bad news or good news. Well, just wanna ask some opinion. Is he trying to get me back? I don't know. I'm not gonna fall for him unless he settle things with his parents. Or else, nothing is gonna happen between me and him. Okay la. I'll tell you more tomorrow la. Now wanna go play chrono cross. Bye.

Love Story Chapter 23

Inside the room. Jonathan was looking at Jamie directly into her eyes. Jamie felt somehow uncomfortable with him doing that.
Jamie : Is there somethign wrong with my face?
Jonathan : Oh, is nothing. Please don't get me wrong. I mean well, I err, just like to
you know, gaze into your face.
Jamie : Oh. Um, you don't need to do that actually. There's nothing special.
Jonathan : Of course there is. Just that, other people can't see it.
Jamie was so happy when he said that.
Jamie thinking : Please remind me why I didn't picked him.
Jonathan : So, um, don't you wanna go home?
Jamie : Nah, I don't take back my words. When I say it, I really mean it.
Jonathan : Oh.
Then Jonathan's face turns to be sad.
Jamie : Um, did I said somethign wrong?
Jonathan : Huh? Oh no. I was thinking. Since you don't take back your words,
which means that I don't stand a chance.
Jamie thinking : Oh. So that's why he's sad.
Jamie : Look, um, Jonathan. I really really don't want to have any love right
now. Not because of Cal that's why I didn't except you. Its just... I
don't know.
Jonathan hold her hand.
Jonathan : It's okay if you don't know. I don't care. But I'll wait for you. Jamie, I
do all this is because you are worth it. You are worth more than
anythign in the whole wide world. I know that deep down in your
heart that, you will except me. Maybe not now..but I know you will.
Jamie just smile at him. Yeah, his words can be trusted and maybe it is true too. Time pass by. Jamie was sleeping. She sleep on her hands at the bad next to Jonathan. The time was 6.00 a.m in the morning. Jonathan woke up. He wanted somethign to drink. He saw the jug of water beside him but not just besidde him. Quite far from him. He has to reach out. So he did. He tried to strech out but he didn't reahc it. He lost out of control and nearly fall but gain back his balance but he accidentally drop the jug of water. Jamie heard noise so she woke up and saw that Jonathan was actually going to fall.
Jamie shout : Jonathan!
Jamie : What are you doing?
Jonathan : I was trying to get that.
Jamie : You should have told me you wanted that.
Jonathan : Well, you are asleep. I don't want to wake you up you know?
Jamie : I don't care. Just tell me what you need nextime okay? Please.
You ar just going to scare the hell outta me.
Jonathan : Alright. Sorry.
Jamie : It's okay.
Then at 8.00 a.m, Jamie has to go to college.
Jonathan : Are you sure you have enough energy to study?
Jamie : Yeah. Don't worry. Alright. It's time or me to go. Bye.
Jamie and Jonathan smile at each other and Jamie went off. Jonathan was so happy. For the 1st time, something good is happening in his love life. Kring!!!!! Jamie went to her locker.
Voice : I thought you won't be coming.
Jamie thinking : Sounds like Cal.
She turn and yeah, she guessed it.
Jamie : Why you say that?
Cal ; I thought Jonathan is much more important then your studies.
Jamie smile and said.
Jamie : Myabe that's you. Not me. I'm different. Nothign is gonna distract
me from my studies.
Cal : Really?
Jamie : Yes, really. Excuse me. I gotta go.
She close her locker and jsut went off. Then after her english class, Cal was already waiting outside for her.
Jamie thinking : What does he want now?
Jamie went out of the class. Obviously she got to stop and talk to Cal.
Jamie :Yes? May I help you?
Cal : Look. Can you just stay put and talk to me for just one second?
Jamie didn't say anythign instead just looking at him.
Cal : Okay, I'm sad.
Jamie : Sad?
Cal : Yes. I'm sad because of us. I don't wan us to be like a stranger.
Jamie ; We're not
Cal : We are. You just don't realise.
Jamie : Look Cal. We have been throught this. A lot of times. And you
will forever be my bestfriend. Remember?
Cal : I know but we are not acting like one.
Jamie : Okay. Fine, we will start acting like lastime again okay? Just
take it slow.
Cal : Alright. Fine with me.
Jamie : Can I go now?
Cal : Where are you going?
Jamie : Hospital. I'm going to visit him.
Cal : Can I follow?
Jamie : Up to you.
Then Jamie just walk away. Cal follow her from behind. Then when they reach there, Jamie open the door.
Jamie : Hey.
Jonathan : Hey.
Then Cal appear from behind.
Cal : Hey.
Then Jonathan's face turns gloomy. Jamie realise that.
Jamie : Um, Cal just wanted to see how are you doing.
Jonathan : I'm fine. Thanks for caring.
Cal : You're welcome.
Jonathan : Can you go outside for awhile? I need to talk to Jamie.
Cal : Yeah sure. Take your time.
Then Cal just go out from the room. Again. He feels that he is losgin to Jonathan. First time in his life, He feel so weak.
Set By
- Jessica Tan -

Sunday, June 12, 2005

I can't believe my bestfriend at all. Argh, hey common la. If you don't like to come to my house then say so la. Don't need to say things at the back of my back okay? Just say in front of my face. Why? Scared is it? I don't wanna go to your yf because I don't like the people there. And since when I will let you sit in front of the computer and I will just let only me play gb? I let you play gb for goodness sake. Oh man. I just can't beleive her. She always like that. Always likes to say things behind people's back. HeY Reney, have you ever think about people's feelings? I don't think so. And I never even complain to you when I wanna go fetch you somemore. Hah, what about that time? Have you ever think about me? Have you ever think that I have to waste my petrol to go and fetch you come to my house and have you ever think that when I'm late, you will go complaining? Have you ever think all the bad things that you have done to me? Why must you only see others people badside but you don't seeyourself. Don you wanna know why you have no friends? Take a good look at yourself in the mirror and see for yourself. And askyourself why don't you have enough friends. I got a feeling I have the answers now. Because of your attitude. Change yourself. Sometimes, you asked me why I'm so scared to sit the rollercoaster and all. If you think that I'm not qualified or not yet reah the level of expectations of your bestfriends level, then why not we jsut become good friends? Say it to my face, dON'T BE A CHICKEN. Because I really can't stand you saying things about me and others. I have never even say any bad things about you when you hurt me. Sure, I will just keep it in my heart but I will not let it out but this time, I've been very patient with you and I really can't stand it anymore. If you still think that I'm a very bad bestfriend, then go find onemore better. I hate it when you do that. THINK ABOUT IT. NOW YOU HAVE MESSED UP BIG TIME!!!!!! I can't say that I really hate you. But if you keep on doing like this then maybe yes I will hate you. SO STOP DOING THOSE BLUDDY THINGS!!

Oh My GOODNESS! I really messed up big time.

Guess what happened yesterday? Um, well, I went out with Bryan and you should know what happened ler. Well, he changed his hair style just by cutting it. Lol. And errrr, ahahahahah, you guys should know my last updates about him. Um, he and me almost kissed again. Always like that. I don't know ler. He is jsut so huggable. Like a pillow.
Well, suprisingly I kinda rejected him. Oh my, does this mean that I really really like Micheal? Oh man. I thought I just like Micheal because of his looks. Well I'm sure the lastime when he was in my car, there were no sparks flying around. Man, I really messed up big time. Oh well, I just don't wanna go with Bryan because a lot of problems are going to happen again and again. Example like his parents. I still can't take his parents problem out of my mind. Maybe that really did hurt me a lot when I was with him. But I can say one thing that I'm very happy being with him because he and me is the most longest relationship. Let's just say that my relationship with Dexter is not a relationship at all. It was all just bull.
And yeah, Bryan suppose to go out with me later for tea. Aiya, who am i kidding. He is not going to call me la for sure. I also cannot trust whatever he says. And yesterday I tried letting him drive. Ajhahahahahaha. Well, he still needs a lot of practice. Lol. Okie ler, I guess that is all. Wanna bet with me RM50 that Bryan isn't gonna call. Lol.
- J e s s i c a T a n -

Friday, June 10, 2005

My birthday is coming!!! I want it to be special.

Hey people. Guess what? My birthday is coming!! Lol. Not that soon yet but coming!! Lol. Anyway just wanna keep you guys updated. And well, just now earlier this afternoon, I received a letter from Lim Kok Wing college and they said that I need to go back for enrollment on the 27th of July. That's so fast man. Hopefully I pass ler.
Yeah, and I started playing my play station now and playing Chrono Cross and it rocks man the story line. Lol. Damn nice. Can't wait how the story goes. Getting crazy already ler me. Ahahahaha.
Oh yeah, I wanna tell you my dream with Micheal. Well, I was planning to do this. Because on the 25th of June, 1 day before my birthday, they have this um, YACTH meating(however you spelled it) and one of my friend asked me to go. And well, I will if my sister and Micheal is going and I asked my friend, if he could aske dhim to go, I want him to fetch me. And of course go home but before I go home, I want him to take me out to go watch a movie on that day. Midnight movie. I mean, common, my birthday is on the modnight already ma. I guess he wouldn't mind right? Hopefully he doesn't. Well, just wish me luck and I really got to pray hard. If that really happens, it is goonna be the best birthday of my life.The question now is how am I going to ask him to company me watch movie?
Anyway, about Chris, wanna know the updates about me and him? All I can tell you is nothing special. LOLZX! I mean, he is staring to like avoid me and act like I;m not there and that is definitely fine and cool with me to come and think about it. Lol. I mean like what? I've got my own life and money(especially) to take care of now. I don't need him that's for bluddy sure. He deleted me as a friend in friendster and well, no more blog, and maybe in msn too. Who knows? No need to care so much right? Even if he dies, in the seven seas of hell also I wouldn't wanna pray for peace and mercy for some uesless alien. Well, I'm not mean and I didn't want this whole break up thing to happen. You dumped me, you come talk to me. Not the other way around. And whose fault was it that make all this friendly conversation? Was it me or him? Come and asked me to be his friend and now delete me. MY GODNESS. Such christian this is. Well, not sure is he reading this and if this vlog really break his heart and whatever la, ths sister wanna read and put comments, go ahead because you guys aren't gonna break my heart one more time and your comments, I'm gonna just look at it and throw it out from my wonderful brain. Lastime I'm not like that when I was with Chris but now, who the bulddy hell cares of what the sister writes? I know when I suppose to respect and not too. Becausse when I was Chris, I will try to lighten up his burden and nothing seems to change. But seriously lor. Myabe I'm too good for him. Yeah, HEARD THAT CHRIS? I'M TOO GOOD FOR YOU. NOT YOU ARE TOO GOOD FOR ME. YOU ARE A USELESS SON OF A BITCH! Well, for goodness sakes. Everyone says that. Maybe including yourself. And for your sister, she should go and marry you and God as well. And oh yeah, don't for get to invite me to your wedding. AHAHAHAHA! Well, ta-ta. If you think I'm mean people, think again. Adios!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Love Story Chapter 22

Cal : Yeah, basically that's about it.
They were at a coffee shop just next door of the college.
Jamie : Oh,, It looks like you guys broke up because of me.
Cal : No. Please don't go blaming yourself. Maybe I and her aren't
meant to be.
Jamie : Maybe you just need to give her a little more time to you
know, accept me.
Cal : How much time does she need? I mean, seriously, it's been
so long.
Jamie : Well, maybe she hates me.
Cal turn to Jamie and said...
Cal : Jamie, no matter what, if my partner is not going to respect
you, I will not continue the relationship. You know why?
Because you are more important.
Jamie : Thanks...I guess.
Cal : Sigh.
Then they were so quiet which makes Jamie wanted to just go away from there. Suddenly, she hoped that she is with Jonathan having fun. Then suddenly, Cal, talk in a soft voice.
Cal : Jamie?
Jamie : Hmm?
Cal : Can you be my girlfriend?
Jamie was shocked of course. But becoming Cal's girlfriend is all she wanted wasn't it? But all of a sudden, she sdon't want that anymore.
Jamie thinking : Why am I thinking twice now?
Cal : Jamie?
Jamie : Huh?
Cal : Are you willing to be my girlfriend? I don't wanna lose you
anymore. I promise that...
Jamie : Shhh. Beore you say anything, Cal I think I can't.
Cal : You can't what?
Jamie : Be your girlfriend.
Cal : And why not?
Jamie : Because I'm also not sure. Maybe I've found someone else.
Cal : Jonathan?
Jamie : I don't know. Maybe.
Cal : Oh.
Jamie : Look. I'm sorry about you and Melanie. About what
happened between you and her. But after what happen,
you can't really just like asked me to be your girlfriend
striaght away. It is just not right.
Cal : I know. But I'm serious. I'm not desperate or anything.
Jamie : I know you are not. I mean, I suddenly don't feel that way
aymore and don't ask me why coz I don't know why too.
Cal : Nevermind. I get your point. So there's no more chance for
me ha?
Jamie : I don't know.
Cal : Oh...okay.
Jamie : Can we go now?
Cal : Yeah sure.
In college, Jonathan was still surrounded with those guys.
Stranger : Comon Jonathan. We are waiting.
Jonathan : You're sorry if you think that I'm gonna say sorry for no
Strnager A : Oh, but there's a reason. You didn't respect Melanie.
Stranger B : Oh common Jonathan, just a simple sorry.
Jonathan : Fine. I'm sorry. Geez.
Then Jonathan turn and wanted to open his locker but they stil won't move.
Jonathan : Can you move? I already apologise.
Then someone tap Jonathan's shoulder. Jonathan turn...
Stranger : But you din't said it sincerely.
Then he box Joanthan. Jonathan fell down on the floor. All of them were laughing.
Stranger : You think you are so tough? Who is on the floor now?
Jonathan look up and said...
Jonathan : I just.......apolo....gise...What you....want?
Then stranger B pull Jonathan's hair and said...
Stranger B : You call that a sincere apology?
Stranger A : Let's just bust him up.
Stranger C : Yeah, good idea.
Stranger : Let's do it.
Then they whack him real good until Jonathan feel like he is going to die any moment. Luckily someone walk pass by and it was Cal.
Cal thinking : What the hell?
Cal shout : Hey you!
Stranger B :Let's get out of here man. It's Cal.
Then all of them run. Cal run towards Jonathan. While he helped Jonathan he asked...
Cal : Who are they?
Jonathan : One of your people.
Cal : One of my people? I don't have any of those people.
Anyway, let me help you...
Jonathan : I don't need your help.
Cal : Jonathan, I want to help you. You need to go to the
Jonathan : I can go myself. I can get up myself. For once, stay out.
Cal knew how much he hates him but he really needs help. Then Jonathan tried to get up but eventually and obviously he fell again.
Cal : Oh common. Let me help you.
This time Jonathan didn't refuse. He was really hurt badly. So Cal brought Jonathan to the hospital. When the doctor was treatmenting him, Cal called Jamie and she sounds very shock through the phone. Then a few minutes later she came. She looks worried.
Jamie : Cal. Where is he? Is he alright? How did it happened?
Is it serious?
Cal : Jamie. Calm down.
Then the doctor came out. Jamie straight away went to him.
Jamie : Doctor. How is he?
Doctor : He is okay. Luckily he came in time if not, I think he
will be losing a lot of blood.
Jamie : Is it that serious?
Doctor : Not really. He is okay now. You can go and see him if
you want. But um, he cannot go to school maybe 4 a
Jamie : Oh..okay.
Doctor : Yeah, that's about it.
Jamie : Okay, thanks doctor.
So Jamie and Cal went in. Jonathan saw Jamie and he smiled. Jamie sit next to him. She straight away put her head on his chest.
Jamie : I'm so glad that you're okay. I thought that I will never
see you again.
Jonathan : Of course you will. I will never leave you.
Jamie look up. She feels so happy being with him.
Cal : So how are you feeling?
Jonathan :Better.
Cal : Good. Jamie, it's getting late. You wanna go?
Jamie : No, I think I'll stay here.
Jonathan was shocked. He open his eyes.
Jonathan : Why won't you wanna go home?
Jamie turn to Jonathan.
Jamie : Because you've been protecting me all this while.
Now, is a change and I'm not going to let anything
hurt you again.
Cal wanted to just go away from there. Cal knew that Jamie already met someone new and that's Jonathan.
Cal : I'll leave you both alone.
Then he quickly went out from the room. And now he knoes, that he has no chance against Jonathan anymore.
Cal thinking : I'm jsut silly to think that Jamie still likes me.
Set By
- Jessica Tan -

Monday, June 06, 2005

He was not there. How sad?

I went to church today and he was not there. How sad. Who am I talking about? Micheal lor. Sometimes, I imagine what if he and me are couples? Will I be happy? Because for one thing, he is mature, a christian and also, he can crive. He is few years older or either 1 year older. I'm not sure, but all I know is that he is laready working. Very miss him now. Ahahahahahaha. Anyway, I hate the new GB. Cannot buy your own avatars already. RAR!! Haih, so now I just went and bought the avatar I always wanted but only can use for 1 week. Sucks la. Aih, nevermind ler. Okie ler, wanna go play liao. I starting to play my play station now since I already holiday. FREEDOM MAN!! Yay, bye people.

Love Story Chapter 21

Jamie went back to her house. A lot of things had happened. She sit down on her bed and really think back what had just happened.
Jamie thinking : Oh boy. This is not happening to me. He likes me?
How? I mean... sigh, I'm so confused now.
Kring!! The next day in school. Melanie was walking with her friends to her locker. Then she saw Cal waiting at her locker. Wow, he looks so cute for her but she doesn't like the look on his face. The serious look.
Melanie's friend : Hey that's your guy. I think we should just leave you
with you okay?
Melanie : Okay.
Melanie's friends : Bye.
Melanie wave them goodbye and walk towards Cal. Cal saw her. She smile at him but her never smiled back.
Melanie thinking : Somthing is definitely wrong.
Melanie : Hi darling.
Cal : Melanie, there's something we need to talk.
Melanie thinking : Melanie? Since when the word 'darling'change to my
Melanie : What is it?
Cal : Come.
Then Cal hold Melanie's hand and pull her gently to at the back of the locker. So that no one can hear them.
Cal : Look, Melanie... I can't take it.
Melanie : Can't take what?
Cal : Your attitude towards my friends.
Melanie : Oh, you mean Jamie?
Cal : Yes. I mean, common, I respect your friends. You
should at least, respect mine.
Melanie : I repect yours.
Cal : Yes I know, but somehow, you don't respect Jamie.
I know you hate her but you don't need to slap her.
I have no idea how to face her again.
Melanie : Oh common dear. You don't need to see her anymore.
Cal : What's that suppose to mean?
Melanie : Nothing. I'm jsut saying that...
Cal : What, you purposely do that so that I will not get to
see her again?
Melanie : No, I mean...well, sort of.
Cal : Melanie, how could you do that? She's my best friend.
Melanie : Well, I know but she doesn't respect me either.
Cal : Look, fine, if you're not gonna settle this, then this is
Melanie : What?
Cal : You heard me. Over. We are through.
Cal wanted to walk away when Melanie...
Melanie shout : Cal! You get your ass back here!
Cal : What for? I'm nothing to you anymore. Goocbye.
Melanie shout : Cal!!! Cal!!! Cal!!!!
But Cal just keep on walking. Somehow he knows that Melanie is always going to be Melanie. She will never change. At Jamie's side, she was in history class. Her additional class. Her exam has just finish and the teacher is going to give them back their results.
Jamie's teacher : You're not doing very well Jamie.
Jamie : Huh?
Jamie's teacher : Here. Your results.
Jamie can't believe it. She got 85 for her history paper. That's so low for her.
Jamie thinking : How am I going to explain to mom and dad?
Then from her leftside, Jonathan...
Jonathan whispering : Psst!
Jamie turn at the back where Jonathan is.
Jonathan whispering : How much did you get.
Jamie whispering : Very low.
Jonathan whispering : How much?
Jamie whispering : 85
Jonathan whispering : That's low?
Jamie whispering : How much you got?
Jonathan whispering : I only got 62.
Jamie whispering : That's not that bad.
Then after the history class, Jonathan walk with Jamie.
Jamie : Howw am I going to explain to my parents?
Jonathan : If you're not happy with your marks, give me yours.
Jamie : No, I mean, normally i will get 90+.
Jonathan : Oh common Jamie. It is just 5 marks low.
Jamie : That's a lot you know?
Jonathan : Yeah, for you that is.
Jamie grin at him.
Jonathan : Hey, wanna do somethign different?
Jamie : Sure. But stop by at my locker for awhile.
Then Jamie and Jonathan walk to her locker and someone was waiting for her there.
Jamie thinking : Is that Cal?
Jonathan : Hey, that looks like Cal.
Jamie thinking : Yeah. It is him.
Cal look straight up to his right and saw them.
Jamie thinking : He looks serious and upset in a way.
Then both of them reach there.
Jamie : Hey.
Cal : Hey.
Jonathan : What are you doing here?
Jamie : Jonathan.
Cal : I came and talk to Jamie. And I came to apologise.
Jamie : There's nothing to talk about.
Then Jamie open her locker.
Cal : Look, Jamie, I don't want you to be mad at me.
Jamie : I'm not mad at you. Who says I am?
Cal : Look Jamie. I really need to talk to you. There's no
one else I can talk to besides you.
Jonathan : Where's your beloved girlfriend?
Cal : We broke up.
Jamie shut her locker and turn to Cal with a shock expression on her face.
Jamie : What happened?
Cal : That's why. I wanna talk to you.
Jamie wanted to hear Cal's problem but at the same time, she already made plans with Jonathan. If she cancel, Jonathan's plan, this isn't fair to Jonathan.
Jamie :Um, I'm sorry Cal but I already made plans with
Jonathan and...
Jonathan : It's okay.
Jamie turhn to Jonathan. Another shocking thing to hear him say 'it's okay'.
Jamie thinking : Did he just say 'it's okay'? I thought he doesn't like
Jamie : Excuse me?
Jonathan : It's okay. You can go out with him. I mean, you and
me can always hang out other time.
Jamie smile and was so proud at Jonathan. He understands what is she going through.
Jamie : Thanks John.
Jonathan : No problem.
Jamie turn to Cal...
Jamie : Let's go.
Cal : Okay.
Then they went together. Jonathan sigh.
Jonathan : Another day lose to Cal. Well, I was the one ask her
to go with Cal.
Then Jonthan went to his locker. It was 3.00 p.m and there's no one in the college anymore. Then when he open his locker, someone was at the back of him...
Voice : Alone?
Jonathan turn...
Jonathan : Do I know you?
Stranger : No, you don't know me but I suppose you know Melanie. And I know that you didn't respect her enough. Now aplogise to her. She's not here but you can leave her a message. We will pass it to her. If not, you will get it.
Jonathan : Get what?
Then a few guys came out from Jonathans locker from the back and as Jonathan know, that he was surrounded. He got a feeling, he is not going to survive this.
Set By
- Jessica Tan -

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Yeah, I'm so angry at Chris. How can he even delete my hous number? Now I know that he don't even intend to be my friend. Ahh, go fuck off la. Anyway, the phone bill came and yeah la, I got to pay up everything myself. Don't tell me ask from him meh? I doubt he will even pay la. Altogether is RM 49 dollars soemthing. Stupid JERK. I HATE YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. MARK MY SENTENCE!
He will never going to have any girlfriends la. I know he won't. Anyway, he is a homoseksual or gay, I don't care anymore. He is an alien la. No feelings wan. Go get a girlfriend when you die la. I douct you can even find one now. Sure you cannot ind one. I will assure you. You said, you hated BGR=BOY GIRL RELATIONSHIP, then change it to BBR =BOY BOY RELATIONSHIP OR HMR=HOMOSEKSUL RELATIONSHIPS LA. Crazy, never meet this type of human before. Everyone, whom are my friends,(friends that are close to me) please never meet him man. All out from his mouth are all lies!!! Lies i tell you!! liess!!!! Liar!!!
Now always close with Ling Wei somemore. People wanna tackle you also don't know. How dumb can you be? Stupid Chris! Serious shit man. Regreted to een know hhis face and know his name. Wish I never even know that he exist.

Love Story Chapter 20

Jamie shout : This is fun!!!
Jonathan shout : I know. This is fun right!?
Jonathan thinking : Yeah, this is definitely fun being with her here.
Jamie : Woo hoo!!~~~
Then the game has finished.
Jamie : Yeah, hey John, let's play another game.
Johnathan : Looks like you are more energetic. I never seen you act this way
Jamie : I never had so much fun since when I was ....I can't even
Johnathan : Okie okie. Let's play...hmmm, racing car.
Jamie : Errr, I'm not so sure how to drive.
Johnathan : Oh common, it's not a real car.
Jamie : Yeah, I know but still, you still need to control the car right?
Johnathan : Okay, you sit on the car, and I help you with the steering wheel.
Jamie : Okay.
Johnathan thinking : That way, I can touch her hand. I'm so smart.
Then they wnet to the daytona racing car. Then Jamie took her seat. Before they wanted to play,...
Voice shout : Hey Jamie!
Jamie and Johnathan turn and look at the direction that the voice was coming from.
It was...
Johnathan thinking : Oh great.
Jamie thinking : Cal? What is he doing here?
Cal reach where Jamie and Johnathan there.
Cal : Hi.
Jamie : Hi.
Cal look at Johnathan from up to down. Johnathan realise that he was doing that.
Johnathan thinking : Who does this guy think he is anyway? Observing me? I'm better
than him. 100 times better. I mean to treat Jamie someone like
a peace of shit? No way.
Jamie realise the quietness and the akwardness that all of them are feeling.
Jamie : Um, Cal, this is Johnathan. Johnathan, this is...
Johnathan : I know who he is.
Jamie : Oh yeah., forgotten.
Jamie gave one look to Johnathan telling him a sign to be nice to Cal but somehow, Johnathan just ignore the look.
Jamie : Um, so what are you doing here?
Cal : Oh, nothing. Just you know, following Melanie around. She wants
to go to the arcade. And what are you doing here? I mean, you
don't come to this type of places...
Then Cal look at Johnathan and back to Jamie and said...
Cal : you?
Johnathan : Yes, she does go to this type of places if she wants to get her
mind out of somethings that she don't want to think about but
I guess meeting you here for her, won't make any difference.
Jamie : Johnathan.
Johnathan just look away. He was angry that Cal needs to show up when he was just getting Jamie to be alone with him.
Jamie : Sorry.
Cal : No, it's okay.
Johnathan : Can you excuse us? We want to play this game.
Jamie : Yeah, sorry Cal.
Cal : It's okay. You go ahead.
Johnathan thinking : It's about time.
So they played the daytona. Johnathan touch Jamie's hand. He put his right hand on top of Jamie's hands. Both of Jamie's hands are on the steering wheel.
Jamie : You will control the steering wheel with me right?
Johnathan : Yeah. Don't worry Jamie.
Johnathan look at Jamie. Jamie look at him too.
Johnathan : I will be beside you until the game finish.
Jamie smile. Somehow, she felt so comfortable and like everyone beside her is fading only left her and Johnathan. And she feels that she is blushing too.
Johnathan shout : Step on it Jamie!
Jamie quickly wake up from her stupid dream and step on the accelerator. She and Johnathan was concetrating and they seem to be winning.
Johnathan shout : Yeah, that's it. We're gonna win!
Cal was watching them and he got the sense of jealousy when Johnathan touch Jamie's hand.
Cal thinking : Well, I chose to leave her. Stop feeling jealous man.
Then Melanie came.
Melanie : There you are. I've been searching all over for you. What are
Johnathan and Jamie shout :Yay!! We win.
Jamie shout : I can't believe it. I mean, this is the first time in my life that
I am playing this type of game and I...I...I won!!
Johnathan : Yeah, not to mention... I was with you the whole way.
Johnathan thinking : I cannot forget about that part.
Jamie : Oh yeah, of course I won't forget.
Johnathan : I deserve a hug from you right?
Jamie smile and straiaght away hug him. Melanie saw it and she said...
Melanie : Oh stop it.
Jamie and Johnathan stop hugging and look at her.
Melanie : It is not like you won something. Won a gold medal or
or something. It is just a game for pet's sake.
Johnathan : And who are you?
Melanie : Oh, you don't know?
Melanie walk closer to Cal and put her hand into Cal's arms.
Melanie : I'm his girlfriend. Melanie. Didn't Jamie told you?
Johnathan : Of course she told me.
Jamie : Look Melanie. I don't want to fight with you anymore. Let's
just go Johnathan.
Melanie grab her arm.
Melanie : Wait a second. I'm not done with you yet.
Johnathan : Hey, don't touch her.
Melanie : Oooo, who is he? your boyfriend or a bodyguard?
Jamie : Huh?
Melanie :Jamie, can you at least, stick to one particular guy? You are
acting like you are a playgirl you know, going here and...
Jamie : Hey, watch your mouth okay?
Melanie : What you want to fight with me? I never even slap your
ugly face yet and you want to count so much on watching
my mouth? You really need to get teach a lesson.
Melanie wanted to slap her but Johanthan stand in front of Jamie and he was the one get
Jamie : (GASP)!
Melanie : Opps.
Cal : Melanie
Melanie : What? I didn't want to slap him. He moved her.
Cal : Well, you shouldn't slap in the first place.
Melanie : Someone got to teach her a lesson.
Cal : Just because she asked you to watch your mouth. Is that
a lesson?
Cal turn to Johnathan and Jamie. Jamie was holding his cheek. They look like a prefect couple in a way.
Cal : I'm sorry. She lost control.
Melanie : I did not.
Jamie : Look Cal. Whatever it is, I don't care.
Jamie look at Johnathan.
Jamie : Common, let's go.
Then they walk away
Cal thinking : I really messed up big time.
Then Jamie and Johnathan sit down on a nearby bench.
Jamie :Does it still hurt?
Johnathan : What do you think?
Jamie : Sigh, I'm sorry.
Johnathan : For what?
Jamie : I don't know. I just feel so guilty. Why did you do it?
Johnathan : Do what?
Jamie : Pull me away and instead you got slapped.
Johnathan : I don't know. But all I know is, I don't want you getting
hurt anymore. Fizikal or mentally. No more. I just
feel that you're worth it Jamie. I..I love you.
Jamie was shocked.
Jamie thinking : Does he know what is he talking about? Love me?
Jamie : Are you serious? I mean, do you even know what is
Johnathan : Of course I know. I don't simply say things Jamie. I...I
really think before I say I love you. Even just now. No
guys who don't love the girl will get slapped just for her.
Jamie thinking : He's right. But, I don't feel the same way.
Jamie : That's really sweet of you Johnathan see, I...
um, don't have the same feelings you have towards me.
Johnathan : I know. I don't want you to accept me or anything but..
I just want you to have a happy life and of course be
happy when you are hanging out with me.
Jamie : I do feel that. I feel happy hanging out with you.
Honest. I would love to go out with you again.
Johnathan smile.
Johnathan : Me too. Common. Let's go home.
Jamie : Oh okie.
Johanthan thinking : Okay, I really made the bigeest mistake of my life.
I shouldn't have told her. And now I will never get her.
Well, of course. Cal is always on her mind. I will never
be good enough for her.
Set By
- Jessica Tan -