Thursday, February 24, 2005

I know who is gonna be my valentine!!!

Hey people. Sorry,4 this blog, I'm actually writing it in my college and my college doesn't have those tools about the fonts and the colours. SO lousy,really lousy!! Anyway, um, i know who is my valentine date already and it is guy name Chris from my college. Although we are just friends, friends can hang out ma right? Well it figures that we are ganna go out and have fun on that day!! ON saturday. This coming saturday. We are going to watch constantine. In my previous blog, i said that whoever goes out with me after valentines day will be considered as my date for valentines day and it will be him!SHH!!Don't tell him man. He will freak out. Okie, looks like that is all i gotta say. Oh and as for Bryan, he is a total jerk ass. I hate him. There are rumors going around saying that he has another girl and well, ahh, what the heck? Don't care la. FOr what I care. Wasting my time. I have Chris and he is so much better looking and well, can talk better and also very cheerful all the time. Hee hee, picture him also he's a very nice person. Okie, gotta ciao. Gotta go and see what time is the movie on that day. Bye bye...

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Nice

Yesterday, I went out with James and it is the most wonderful moments in my life I ever had. I'm not going to tell you what I did but basically all I can tell you it is the most wonderful and most memorable dates I have ever been and funny, we all will never be together forever. Not even a tiny bit of chance we will be together. I kinda like him too but if both doesn't accept to be together then I guess it can't be help can't it?
Bryan suppose to call me up today to discuss on where to go and when we are gonna go out. Tomorrow is valentines day and I wanted so badly to go out tomorrow. Last year was the best valentines moments I have ever experience and I want to have a much more better one with my real boyfriend this year, but Bryan is not making a good move. He is so outdated. Haih.!! I'm so sick of waiting for him. I don't know whether is it a waste of time waiting for him to make a move.
So much things I have been wondering. So many things I don't wanna think about. It always appear in my mind. I'm not so confused anymore. I'm certain and thanks to James for that. He really make me see things that I should have seen years, months and days ago. Yay, at last, I know and certain who is the person I really love and I will never regret this. I know. Even if I regret, I know that losing who is with me now is better. Coz waiting for him is just gonna ruin my whole entire life. AHAHAHA!!! Can't believe I actually believe that lying JERK! AHAHAHAHA! At last I know that everyone was correct. He is not for me.Well, tomorrow is valentines day and I'm gonna get a date no matter what. Even if I don't have a date, the next guy who will be the first date, after valentines day is gonna be my valnetine on this year. Eventhough it is not on valentines day, I'm gonna make it just for the both of us to have fun, a loving relationship and just make it beautiful,wonderful,memorable and romantic. WOO HOO!!I'm already dreaming about it. Well, guess who will be that lucky someone.Ahahahaha! Not that lying asshole for sure.Even if he is the first person, I don't want him. I doubt that he can even come here.Okie, ciao!!

Thursday, February 10, 2005

So much sadness in my life

Sometimes I feel that does people really understands me? Well, maybe they don't. I love to keep problems to myself and it sucks. It really does. Sometimes, I know that I'm so bad to my boyfriend especially when he makes me angry. He always follows what I said and I feel so powerful just seeing him following orders from me. It is good but I don't want him to always follow me.
Sometimes, I don't know who is better really. Is my boyfriend better or Bryan? Obviously I know it myself but don't wanna admit it. Of course my boyfriend is better. I just wanna give sometime to Bryan to change himself.
The thing I hate most about Bryan is, when we have problems, he can't talk things out and yes, I got to obey every single thing about him. I mean when we have problems, it is always me that got to ca him and this and that. About calling me everyday, well, I understand somethings. But well, if you can't call me everyday, then why not just come and see me? I mean, if you are already not seeing me so often, the only least thing you can do is talk on the phone right? If you come and see me everyday, then I don't mind if you don't call me but you are not seeing me everyday, so why not call me even for 5 minutes and that's enough.
I can admit that Dexter is capable of becoming my boyfriend if he is here. But since he is staying so far away and too sensitive then I won't except. The fact that he is so far away, now, I kind to think about the problem everyday and it gives me some sort of headache. Dexter is really my dream guy just that he is too sensitive and assume so many things. Dexter can fully make me happy and what I love about him is especially when he can call me everyday. 1 more thing is that when we have arguments, he always says he is sorry even if he's right. It showd that I really do mean something to him and I know I worth a lot to him. But I really hope that Bryan can be like him instead of Dexter.
Both of them will be my perfect guy if they both combine together. But I know that I only can pick one. I have no idea who to pick. I actually already made up my mind that day but suddenly all of a sudden today, something just came through my mind and ask me to think again. I have no idea what it is. It just seems really strange that suddenly I have to think twice.
Anyway, today, Bryan is comine back and yay!!! I'm so happy. Can't wait to see him on saturday or tommorrow. Well as usual I guess he will ffk me again or maybe not free. I know he didn't miss me a puny tiny little bit. Bahhhh!!! He is always like that.
I just wish that my Bryan can be like Dexter. I mean I just want my boyfriend to treat me like how a boyfriend should do. If you don't know how. go find someone to teach you. Well, ask me la..I also know... Okie..bye..

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Sad

Bryan knows everything and well, that's it I guess. That's it. He gotta find something or figure out a way to plan out things with me and stuff. Somethign happened between me and him and well, I love the way he hold me that day. It was just like a rare moment that I will never get from him. Oh how I wish that I can see him so often and hope he can change his expression and attitude espcially talking on the msn or icq. All his answers to me so short wan...Anyway, Bryan, I can shout out that I love you...(if you want) I just wanna say that I love you not like anymore. I wanna know your answer now. Please tell me you know what to do...bye.