Thursday, December 30, 2004


Y?........Y MUST IT BE LIKE THAT!!!!? roarrrrrrrr!!! I mean, whenever I put my hopes up on something, sure it won't come true. At last, I know that my dear won't be keeping his promiese like what he promised me.
Yes, I do feel sad and guilty about him figting with his parents and everything but well, sometimes all my ex's or my bf now will always fight with the parents and the reason is always it is because of me. ROARR!! Y?!!! I got do anything wrong meh? Look inside la..Look at me la......Did I force ure sons to liek do everythgni for me? They were the one wanted to do things for me not I force them to do!!!! GR!!!!!!!!!!GodDAMMIT!!! I'm a human being man. I have feelings.
This is to all mothers out there. Those mothers that your sons have been couple with me before. And to mothers that need to understand your sons or ure daughters more. Okie, here it goes.
I know this doesn't make sense and all but well, your sons, love some girl or your daughter love someone so desperately and you can't force them to just like break up and all. You have no right to make them fall for someone else. Because you are not them and they aren't you. They love that someone and they see something special inside that person's heart. You parents don''t cause you don't love that person. And for goodness sake, I'm sure your children will know that special someone if they get married. They aren't blind. God create them with eyes and brains and they know how to think because they are all grown up. They won't be so stupid to go n pick someone who is a gangster or a drug adict.
Your sons and daughters aren't so stupid like what you parents thinks. If you want to pick a partner for your child, then why not you go back to the old fashion way like lastime when parents choose brides and bridegrooms for their own child. If you think about it again, it is so stuipd and doesn't make any bluddy sense. This is the new generation now. Face it. If you wanna choose partners for your child, then you are just treating your chld as a stupid person who doesn't know how to make decision.
Your child is not a retarded person. They know how to think. You are actually making them suffer. If they want something until they can die for it, give it to them. Make them happy and yuprself happy. If you are not happy, just believe in God. God knows what to do with your life later on. Just think about it if you were in your childs condition. Will you suffer? Will you hate your parents? Some things, don't comes out perfect like what you hope for. If your child dies and the reason is because you don't let them to be with that person he/she loves, you can't blame the other party. You blame youself. The 1st person.
My mom always lets me have what I wanted. And now my hobby is drawing. I thought that my dad would never put me in animation course but he did. And you know why? It is because it is my hobby and he knows that I really wanted to be an animator.Deep in my heart I know that he scared that it wouldn't do me any good, but after he register me in, I said to myself, that I will succeed. I wanna show my dad that I can. And I will earn 1k or 2k.....Just to create a story of my own.
My mum understand me too. Eventhough she is not staying with me, but the time when she was, she realyl showed a good sample towards me and I really love her a lot that time.Now she changed to be a total no good mother but I still can see deep in her eys and heart that she still loves me and my sis. I still remember that she wanted to get me my favourite computer game and shared with my dad but it was jsut too expensive and there's one time that she gave a good advice to me and my sister. My mom is a good lecturer. I admit it. I really like her when she gives lecturer to me. She is qualified to be a lecturer. I love her so much last time. Now she is just not with me and I'm following what she said lastime. I still remember she said to one mother to don't treat your child so bad because nextime when she grows up, she will runaway and that time you don't go crying and asking for help. Better start now then to suffer later.She somemore said that she never wack us before. Because she knows that it is very painful.And she never did wack us.
I will remember this forever. What she said to that mother, I really love it. It is like she knows what we are feeling.So to all mothers out there, rememebr what I wrote. CIAO PPL.!!

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

I Hate Him

Today I suppose to go out with him. Bryan. And he as usual, alwis ffk me. Maybe his hobbies are always to ffk people. I'm so fuking pissed at him. Everytime when he makes me sad, he has no idea that he did that. ARGH!!! I hate him so much. Sometimes. I feel like somoene should do those fk things to him and then he'll knows how does it feels. ARGH!!! I HATE HIM , I HATE HIM ,I HATE HIM !!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

A story Chapter 14

The curtain opens and there she was. Jessie standing there. She smile at the audience and she spotted Ken and Peter sitting beside each other at the 2nd row from the front. She smile at him. Peter saw that but he didn't cared. He still likes her a lot but they are just not destined to be together.
Jessie sit down on the stool and played christmas songs and she sang and she looks so pretty or Ken. Ken look at her. She looks so pretty as always like how she look when she plays and Ken always hears her play. But the dress she was wearing now make her looks so glamorious. He and the crowd clap as she finish playing but she isn't moving away from the stool and Ken felt weird. Why isn't she moving away? Then suddenly Jessie took the mic and said that there's one more song she will play. Ken felt weird. One more song? He didn't heard this song before.
Jessie took the mic and this is what she said, "good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. I was supose to go back stage now but I decided not too. I was plannign to do one more song for my beloved lover who is sitted ar the 2nd row from the front. I wanna dedicate this song to him. I'm not shy to tell you who is this person is because he is such a wonderful person. He saw me when I was invisible. He spent time with me when I was a nobody. I really love this boyfriend of mine and I'm afraid of losing him and I wish that will never happen. Now all I know is that we have each others parts of our life. I wanna dedicate this song to him. It is call Only Hope by Mandy Moore. Darling, I hope you will like it because it is especially for you. Listen to the words carefully. Love you darling. Hope all of you enjoy it." After Ken heard that he was speechless. She was not having a good health now but she stilll practicing this song just for him to hear. Then Jessie played. Somethings tells Ken that he will never leave this girl tor the rest of his life.
Set By
- Jessica Tan -


Sometimes, I wonder, should i be angry at him? I'm also not sure is he angry at me. Did I do anything wrong? Probably I'm just jealous. Jealous of what he didn't did to me lastime. I'm talking about Bryan. My ex-bf. He didn't tell me that he has a girlfriend. He has been going out with her for like 7 months and I don't know anything about it. And I was so stupid enough to go and think such stupid things like he likes me back and wants me back. I mean it is like so fucking obvious that he acted that way.
When he was in lumut(if I'm not mistaken) for 1 week, he keep on sms me and said that he was bored or rotting to death and he even said that he misses me. He told me that he don't wanna tell me that he has a girlfriend coz of the way I would react later. Does this means that he think I'll become a mad cow? I mean if he had told me ealier, I wouldn't even wanna go out with him. I wouldn't wanna see him. I mean if he is fucking bored, why not call his SO CALLED gf. Why want me to call him? Now I know why he can sing that eternal flame and sometimes song because of her. I can't believe I was so stupid. I even pick those songs for him to sing but all I did was just let him remember his gf.
I know that I'm already his ex, I'm not suppose to care so much but actually, there is somethings matters. What really makes me damn pissed of at him was he didn't tell me, and that's the 1st thing. 2ndly, was because he use me to be his entertainer and 3rdly, he didn't do what he is doing to his gf now than what he had done for me lastime. He just broke up with the girlfriend and yes I do feel sorry for him. He get's all mad and let out his stupid fucking temper at me and also, he always breaks out our plan. It is like I'm his stupid bitch and doing whatever he wants. I'm so sick and tired of what is he doing to me.
I'm also confused. I'm confuse whether to tell him what am I feeling. I don't even know what I'm feeling actually. It is just not right for me to feel this way. After the message I send to him yesterday, my sister told me that he is feeling pissed of coz I'm not there for him. But actually I really want to be there for him I just can't be there for him in some certain matters. When you actually not 100% forget about that person, you can't really help him with his girlfriend which he didn't tell u about it make up. It is like you are doing him a good deed and he doesn't even know it. I'm so jealous, pissed and confused now. I'm feeling like a dumb girl writing all this stuff. I have my own problem to be worried about but I'm worrying about this. And I'm not suppose to actually be worrying about this. Actually I still like him a bit, but what he had done to me lastime, I can't say that I really love him so so so much. I can't believe that he broke up with me lastime and he really can for get about it that fast and chose someone else so fast.
I really wanna congratulate him for being not so caring about me. I really hope that he will read this. There are just somethings that I hope he would understand. Bryan, if you are reading this, I just wanna tell you that, it is true that I will always be there for you but not all the thins I can help you with, things that really hurt me, I can't help you with. I know that you always thinks that I'm not good enough for you.Now you know that I actually still like to hang out with you, like you to be rigth by my side and happy and sad to be with you. I really love your company. I really like you. I still like you always will. But I know we will never go back to square one because of a lot of reasons. So Bryan please don't be mad at me. I am jealous I admit it. I don't want you to go back with your girlfriend if there's a chance but I know if I make it like that, I'm just thinking about myself. I know you really cared for her and fucking love her. So go ahead and get her back if you want but remember that I can't help it that I like you I can't help you with this thing. I'm just jealous that you never did what you did to her now to me. And I can't beleive that you can straight away forget abotu our whole thing. You have no idea on how much you've hurt me. All that has past and you won't wanna care so much about it. But it matters to me. The painess is still in my heart you know? We are always gonna be good friends and well please don't tell me about what you and your ex girlfriend is going through. I hate it. I will feel angry at you and I don't wanan be pissed at you. Good luck Bryan. Take care.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

A story Chapter 13

Ken went back to his house after that. He went back and did something. He was finding his bank book and see how much money he left. He knew that Jessie isn't going to have the chance to celbrate her birthday. But just incase, he is going to celebrate it earlier.
The next day, Peter saw Ken. He walk towards Ken and slapped Ken's back like old times.Ken smile at him. Peter knew that Ken is sadbut just pretend that he is not. Peter didn't wanna say anything about Jessie. When they went to each of their classes, Ken sat down on his desk. He look at Jessie's sit. Empty. He always picture her there. Ken never felt so in love before.
At break time, Ken waited for Peter to finish his class and they went together. Peter went and buy food. Ken was already at their favourite spot. Peter didn't see any food on his table. He sit next to Ken and asked him where's his food? Ken said to him that he is not eating. Peter asked why? Ken said that he is saving money. Peter asked Ken for what? Ken said, it is for Jessie. He wants to do something for her. Peter asked him what is it. Ken told Peter and Peter was damn shocked. "WHOA!!! Are you serious? It is gonna cost you a fortune man. I suggest you just grant her all of her wishes but not that." Ken look at Peter with a serious expression on his face. Then he said, " I told you before, I will grant all of her wishes didn't I? I know you may think that I'm crazy but nomatter what or whatever it takes, nothign is gonna stop me. I know what I'm doing and that girl that is going to leave me is the person I really love. I love her that I actually can even kill myself when she leaves." Peter slap Ken's back. "Hey, chill man. That's not going to happen. Fine, I'm wrong. Go do what you gotta do" Peter just conmtinue eating his food. Ken thinking, Peter wan right. Is he crazy? But over all, he knows that she is worth anything.
Times and days past by, and Ken always does the same thing. Later on, Jessie get to go back to school and Ken was happy. He can get to see her everyday. The teacher said that there will be a competition for their class and other classes to play an instrument. They can play any songs they like. Everyone ask to vote someone. Everyone said Jessie. Jessie was shocked. Why her? Jessie asked why her? Ken said because when she wasn't in school few days back, they all really miss you and they want you to do something for the class. So that's why they ppick her. Jessie got nothing to say. She was flattered. But also she asked for a backup so that if got anything happens to her on that day,that person can play. Everyone agrees.
At break time, she was the only one eating. Ken didn't eat and Ken always says that he is saving money for something that she will know later. Jessie felt weird but she didn't really care. So everyday after school, Jessie will walk home with Ken and she will practice her pieces on the keyboard. Ken smile as she plays. Everyday, is the same thing until that big day came. Jessie was so scared but somehow Ken told her that he will be there to cheer for her so there's nothing to be afraid of. Ken make her feel so calm and fearless. Ken kiss her a quick kiss on the lips and went off. Jessie was still shaking but she knew that she will not do a single mistake if Ken is over there watching her.
Set By
- Jessica Tan-

Saturday, December 25, 2004

A story Chapter 12

Ken want home, he was so stress out on what to do. He really wantt to grant those wishes which what Jessie had wisjed all of her life. No matter what, he will try. So Ken wrote everythin in a diary so that he won't forget anything. Not even a single word or thing. Jessie's birthday is coming 1 mroe month later it will be Jessie's birthday. He is going to make it the most meaningful things that she never had experienced before.
The next day, Ken went to school as usual. He saw Peter there surrounding wjth lots of girls. Ken couldn't believe that he still can have the stupid happy look in her ace when his ex-girlfriend is going to die. Peter saw Ken. Peter knew that Peter is not doing the right thing. So Peter said to the girls "excuse me ladies, I got somrhting to do. I'll cathc uo with you girls later okay?" Then he catch up with Ken he called out Ken's name. Ken stop walking and turn. Suprise to see Peter was actually calling him.
Peter walk to Ken slowly. He put his hands in his pocket and began to apologise abotu his behaviour yesterday. Ken just smile and shook his head. And asked Peter to forget about it. Peter suddenly took out that watch that Jessie bought for him out from his pocket and handed it to Ken. Ken look confuse. Peter said that this watch doens't belong to him anymore. It belongs to Ken now. Ken didn't accept it. Ken said, it may not be his, but if Jessie really want to give me something, she will give it to me sincerely. Peter look at Ken's eyes. He really wanted something for Jessie but he is just denying. Ken continued to say something that made Peter can't say or think anything. "I do want something from Jessie, Peter, but now all I really wish that I can have from her is her love and her for not leaving me. That's is all it matters. Nothing else matters anymore Peter. She is going to leave the world soon and she is going to leave me soon. I just need her love. I need her to love me with full of her heart and I know she does now. So that watch, let's jsut say it is how she show her love and for you to remember her okay? Please keep it. I'm sure Jessie would say the same thing too." With that, Ken just walk off. Peter run towards Ken and out his hand at the back of Ken's shoulder. At last, they are back at square one.
After school, Ken visited Jessie. Jessie open the door. As usual, her parents aren't at home. Ken just plan to visit her and wanted to be with her more very often before she left. Jessie keep on looking at Ken with a smile on her face but somethign is not right. Her face is smilling but her eyes are full of pain. Ken asked her what's wrong. Jessie's face turn to confusion. Ken told her that he actually can see painess in her eyes. Jessie suddenly cry on Ken's chest. Jessie felst so comfortable eventhough she is crying. Somehow, his chest is so warm and when she is in his chest, she feel so secure. Jessie told her that she had trouble breathing and she felt so painful in her chest earlier in the morning. Normally it is painful but not this painful. And she had trouble finding her medicine and eat it. She said that she has no strength to do anything all of a sudden. I she did a mistake, she can't take her medicine and she needs to go back to the hospital. She said that it is getting worst everyday. And she is very afraid. Finally, she told Ken her last wish which was, to live forever with him in a healthy life, but that will never happen because she is going to leave him. Ken hold her so tight as in don'y want her to leave. Ken felt that his eyes are becoming watery too. Ken erase all those thaughts that he can't do it attitude. Whatever it takes, or no matter what, he is going to grant all those wishes.
Set By
- Jessica Tan-

Nice and Happy day

Yesterday was one nice day. At last!! I can have my friends with me yesterday. It was 24th of December. My dad's birthday. So my sister was planning to have a bbq party. So we did and well, everyone did perform. Sadly that Bryan can't come when he said that he will. And sadly my boyfriend can't come too. Well, at least, I wanted to have a partner to dance yesterday. We have a slow session dance yesterday. The most nice part was during the performance.
Me and Foong Wan perform shut up from simple plan. Damn funny. At first, Foong wan and me thaught that our dance was pretty lame. But in the end, they liked our performance maybe it is because its damn funny. Ahahahahaaha!! It is like me and Foong Wan acting yesterday. But anyway, everthing thurns out well. But it was really damn tiring before the party actually started. Ahahahaha!!
Later on, my sister and Jacyln perform singing as usual. An then, my sister's boyfriend and Jacyln's boyriend, perform catwalk.That was damn funny too. You should see Foong Wan laughing until she was crying. I'm not sure whether fif she enjoy herself but maybe she did. I really hope she did. Then we had the cutting birthday cakes session and after that when it was christmas time, we sang christmas songs.
Something really make me sad was when after I send Foong Wan home, I came home and saw Jacyln and her boyfriend dancing in front. If Bryan was there, I will do that too. I don't care I do it with who because I really wanted to make myself hyper and make myself happy on that day. But sadly, I have no more mood and well, Foong Wan had gone home, so there's nothing much more for me to do. So I just greeted them goodnite and merry christmas and went up to the bedroom and sleep.
Well, but overall, it was really nice. Especially the performance. Hope all of you guys out there have such a nice christmas. Have a nice day and Merry christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone of u people out there.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Hello again

Hello to all my friends out there. My dear dear is comign over here!! Woo hoo!!!!!! Damn nice leh..I can't wait. Anyway, when he comes, I'm gonna hug him and tie him up so that he will not go..LOL!!Okie, gotta ciao now..Nothing muh more to write. Oh yeah, I think Bryan is coming back today. Pity him cause he went to lumut for 1 week and I can see he was gonna rot to death.LOl. XD. Okie...ciao!!

A story Chapter 11

At last, Jessie did went back home and she felt so nice to be home. Ken followed her home and carry her begs inside. Then later on, Ken said that he got to go home. There are somethings that he got to settle but he will be back to check on her later. Jessie smile. Ken was being so nice to her. She wanted him to stay but he can't always be there for her. She needed time with her family too. But anyway, she didn't say anything. She just nod her head. Ken smile and gave her a quick kiss on her forehead and went off. Jessie smile again as she saw him leave. She close the door and started to spent time with her parents.
At Ken, he was going back to school. He got some stuff he got to pass up to his teacher. After he did that, he wanted to go and see Jessie. A minute without Jessie by his side, is like a month without her. He was to crazy over her. Anyway, he was about to walk to his car but something caught his eye. It was Peter with a blade on his hand. Ken felt a sense of horror. He saw Peter's hand was bleeding. Ken ran towards Peter and calls out Peter's name. Peter saw Ken runnign towards him. He wanted to cut his hand again but Ken took away the knife with his hand so Ken's hand was bleeding too. Peter was scard so he let go of the knife. Peter shouted at Ken" why did you stop me?!. Just let me die. I have nothing left!" Ken look at Peter wondering how coould he say that? Ken ask Peter to look at the watch he was wearing now. It is the watch that Jessie had given him. He owns that watch and Jessie gave tohim. How dare of him saying that he has lost everything. At least he still has a part of Jessie. Jessie never gave Ken anything and he don't want to ask for anything now. Peter just fell on the floor. Ken ask Peter to think about it and walk off.
Ken arrived at Jessie's house 20 minutes later. Jessie open the door and was so happy that Ken has came back like what he promised. Ken asked her whether she wants to go out or she wants to stay home. She said she has a lot of wishes. Ken and Jessie sat on the sofa. Ken asked Jessie what are those wishes. Jessie said that, she wanted to go to the beach and spent her birthday there. And she wants to go there with her boyfriend and the boyfriend take her there. The present will be in the boot. The boyfriend will open the boot for her. The present will be a huge gigantic stuff toy puppy or a teddy bear with flowers cover all over it before she can see it. So the first thing she would see is flowers then only the toy. Then after that, the boyfriend will set up a birthday cake for her and she will make a wish there. Then she will blow the candle then they can eat. Then after all that has happened, they will hold hands and walk at the beach.After that, they will dance. If there's a nearby tree, they will carved their name there. The last thing what they will do is they will be kissing in the moonlight.
After Jessie explained it to Ken, Ken's eyes were wide open. Jessie look at Ken and she laugh. "Oh common, it is just a joke. It is my dream. I dreamt that once", she said. Jessie sighed and said that she wish it would come true. Anyway, the next wish was, she hope that she can see a shooting star. The next wish was,she wish that can go around the world and she would wanna have a tattoo each have a pair for her and her boyfriend. Ken smile. He might have an idea. Jessie look at Ken and asked him not to grant any of her wishes cause it is hard. Ken shook his head and said, it is not hard. He promise that he will grant her wishes lastime and he will. "Anymore wishes?"Ken asked. Jessie look at the ground and nodded her head. She said there are 2 more but this 2, he can't grant her. Ken look confuse. "Try me", he said. Jessie said that he only can know one. The other one, she will tell him later on when she is ready. Ken smile and said okay. Jessie said that she wants to see her mom and her dad be together FOREVER and she want to live forever until her old age. That's one of them. Ken face suddenly went gloomy. That is very hard. Jessie said to him it's okay if he can't do it.Ken didn't want to dissapoint Jessie and he will make sure he is able to do that. No matter what he will try his best to make her wish a little similar about her living until her old age.

Sunday, December 19, 2004

A story Chapter 10

Ken and Peter look at Jessie. Ken couldn't believe what did Jessie just said. Then later on, Peter laugh. Jessie and Ken look at Peter in confusion. Then Peter asked Jessie this is just a joke right? Jessie shook her head. Peter stop lauhing and stare at her. Jessie felt so guilty. She know hoe murt Peter is gonna feel. She wanted to hug him and say that everything is just a joke but the feeling she want to do that in front of Ken she just can't. And because she can't do that, she knows is all because Ken is there. Now she knows that she is concern about Ken more than Peter. Peter then look at Jessie. Jessie said that she was sorry and explain everything. Why she suddenly felt this way. It seems that she likes Ken lastime but she thaught that she has that feeling because she and Ken were very close. But now it is not like that. She actually understand that Ken is actually the one for her. And she don't want to lie to Peter anymore. After hearing all of that, Peter just smile and say to Jessie that he will always love her. He told her that his feelings for her increase wherelsed for her is the other way around. He smile. Then he wished Jessie and Ken luck of their relationship. With that, he stromed off. Ken was in the way. He ask Ken to move. Ken did as what he was told and Peter walk of without looking at Ken. Jessie asked Ken to go after him but before Ken wenr after Peter, Ken asked Jessie is she sure about all this? Jessie nodded her head. Ken told her that he will be right back.
Ken finally did catch up with Peter. Ken grab Peter's arm. Peter shout at him when Ken grab his arm. "DON'T TOUCH ME"!!! Peter looks very fierce. Ken don't know this Peter at all. Peter then pointing fingers at Ken and blaming him for everything that he has done. One reason was stealing his girlfriend. "I didn't steal your girlfriend. This type of feelings comes naturally and you don't want her to lie to you don't you? It's better to tell the truth than to suffer later. Don't you see Peter? I can grant her every wish. Whatever she wants, I can give her but not you." Peter shouted at Ken again saying why can't he? He is Jessie's boyfriend and he knows that he can grant her wish. "I know you can Peter but if the impossible wish that she wants, I can make it possible," Ken said. Ken walk a step closer to Peter and said that Peter would not risk a lot of things for Jessie because he know his character. Now maybe he will say a lot of things like he will do that just because he lost someone special but later on, he won't say that. "She is not going to live long Peter. I want her to go with a life which is very meaningful and don't worry, you will be in her heart and mind forever. I know it." Peter didn't even smile. But deep down in his heart, he knows Ken was just trying to make him feel better and what Ken said is the truth. Peter finally said that he is forgiving Ken because of Jessie.
Ken then went inside the room where Jessie was. Jessie asked Ken about Peter. Ken smile and said everythinG is fine. Ken walk towards Jessie and sit down on the bed this time. He kiss Jessie's forehead. Ken told Jessie that he will grant Jessie's wishes. He will try to grant everything. Jessie was so happy when Ken said that. She told him that she wanted to go out of the hospital first. Ken said he's not sure whether can he do that, but he'll try. Jessie was so happy. Eventhough she can't live long anymore, she feels that she is the most luckiest girl on earth.
Set By
- Jessica Tan -

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Today is a sucky day

Today is a very sucky day. I suppose to go to a concert thingie that I'm actualyl dieing to go in church and watch what performance they are having and no one is free to go with me. It is like everyone having their stuff to do. It is like someone is playing a fool on me. Ahhh!! Anyway, fine, nextime, I won't wanna go to any of this things anymore since that no one is even free to go with me to places that I wish I could go. Everyone is having fun today except me. So what did I do? I just watch show and my computer kept me busy of course. Anyway, I wanna go and watch my chobits. BYEEEEEEEE!!

A story chapter 9

Ken cam walking in the hospital looking and feeling stupid. He shouldn't be doing this. He couldn't sleep last night. All he could think of now is just to go back the way he entered. He stop when he was outside of Jessie's room. "Am I doing the right thing? No, I should just go home. Yeah..I should." Ken thaught. Then as he wanted to go, the nurse who was in Jessie's room just now, came out and saw Ken. "Hey, you are Jessie's friend right?" Ken stop walking and turn to the nurse. Ken smile and nodded his head. He asked the the nurse whether can he visit Jessie. The nurse said sure. So Ken went in.
When he was inside, Jessie saw him. She didn't look that happy at all to see him. "Probably she knows what's the purpose for me to come here today" Ken thaught. Ken sit on the chair beside Jessie's bed. He greeted her. Jessie greeted him back. Then both of them are quiet. Ken couldn't stand the silence. So Ken, turn to Jessie and ask her is Peter coming. Jessie said later. Ken just nodded. He just needed to tell her what he wanted to say to her yesterday, and that's it. He can go home. And maybe he can even jump down from the window. Nah, that's just a stupid thaught.
Ken look down on the ground and tok a deep breath. "Here goes nothing" Ken finally ask her whether did she think about what he said to her the other day at school? Jessie said no. Ken look up and said, it is okie, she can give her more time to think. Beore he can even finish his sentence Jessie repeated..."no!" Ken look up at here. An expression of confusion in his face. Jessie look at Ken. "I can't like you Ken", Jessie said. Ken wanted to run out of the room. He knew she will say that. Jessie explain to him that after what Peter said to her that made her cry will always be in her mind. She said that she can't bear to leave him. Ken knew it but he came here not to hear all that. He came here to tell her his feelings towards her. Ken suddenlt said, " I understand" Then Ken began saying that actually, he never realise that he likes her before. And neither did she. He knows that she did like him before and same goes for now. Maybe she didn't want to admit. But now, no one is hearing or watching. There's nothing to be shy of. He knows that she is going to go soon and before she is going to leave the world and him, he wants her to be happy with her life and make her life a meaningful thing to think of. And he wants her to remember him too. And in order to do that, he is going to make every single of her wish comes true. He knows that he can do it. He knows that he will make her happy. Even if the wish is imppossible, he will make it come true. He ask Jessie to be with him. He know that Peter can't do all of that for her. Jessie said she didn't care. Then Ken hold Jessie's cheeck. Ken told her, it is okie if she didn't want to hear what he wanted to say, but he hope that whatever or whoever she picks, she knows what she is doing and pick the right one. He wanted to go then the door swing open.
Peter suddenly came in. He look shock at first. But then his face suddenly light up. He greeted Ken. Ken smile.Peter greeted Jessie with a kiss on her lips. Then he wanted to put his porridge that he bought for Jessie in a bowl then Ken said he has to go. But all of a sudden, Jessie said, "stay Ken." Ken was stun. He stop walking. He turn and look at Jessie. Peter was looking at Jessie too. Jessie look at Ken's eyes and began saying " I made my decision. I love you too Ken".
Set By
- Jessica Tan-

A story chapter 8

They rush towards the hospital. Peter was on the right side of Jessie and Ken was on the let side. The doctor and nurses was pushing the bed. Peter was calling Jessie's name and same goes for Ken. Ken look at Peter. He look terrible like he was the one suffering. He must really loved her which what was Ken thinking right now. The not long after that, they reach the operation room. Ken and Peter can't go inside. Then later, Jessie's mom, dad and the sister came. Ken told what had happened. Then Jessie's dad said something about her sickness to Ken and Peter. He said that she was having cancer. A tumor has grown. She was already having this thing quite long but she never tell anyone. Ken and Peter could not believe what are they hearing.
Then the doctor for after a few hours came out and said that all of the should get ready. She could not leave long anymore. She is going to leave the world. She onli can leave at least 4 one month. Now all she need was family support. All of them nodded and the family went in first. Jessie open her eyes slowly. She was so happy to see that her parents was together to see her. Outside of the room, Ken and Peter was there. Peter was sitting down, both of his hands were on his head. Ken was standing up. Leaning his head on the wall. He have no idea what to do next. Why must one problem go to another problem? Then suddenly spoke. He called Ken's name. Ken look at Peter. Peter told Ken that he was scared. Peter told Ken that he don't want Jessie to go. For the past few days, his feelings towards Jessie wasn't that strong but now it is getting stronger each and everyday, and now this thing happen. He don't wanna let her go just like that. After hearing what Peter had just said, Ken had no idea what to say either. He knew that he have no hope to get Jessie now. Ken walk to Peter and just put his hand on Peter's shoulder.
Then the door swing open. Jessie's dad said that Jessie wanted to see both of them. So both of them went inside. Peter went in first. Ken close the door behind him. Peter sit beside Jessie. Ken just stand. Ken can't even look at Jessie. She looks so terrible. He don't want to see her like this. Peter hold her hand and squeese it. Jessie smile at Peter. Peter told everything what he said to Ken earlier on to Jessie. Then after that, Jessie's face was all wet. She was crying. Then she and Peter kiss. Ken saw that of course. Then after they kissed, Jessie then realise that he was there. She called Ken to come and told her thanks to be always there for her. Ken hold her hand too.
Ken went home, later on and feel that he can't stand it anymore. He got to tell Jessie now. It is hurting him each and everyday. He needed a break. Tommorrow after his school, he is going to tell Jessie that actually both of them belong together. He is going to make her every single wish comes true even if it's impossible. He love her too much and now he don't care whether Peter is his friend or not, he is going to tell Jessie his feelings. He know he already did that but that wasn't enough. He wanted to tell him what is bothering him. And now when he knows that she is sufering from cancer and can't live logn anymore, he is going to make her live happy and make her life more meaningful and the only way to do that, is to be with Ken because Ken knew that he can do that for her.
Set by
- Jessica Tan -
Sometimes, I really wish I was not born. I wish that I can just dissapear or vanish instantly. No one really cares about me anymore. Not even my di di. I can't believe that he actually made me cry just now. I hate him!! I hate him so so so much!!! I have so little friends that I wish I have more. I hate this world..This world is not being fair. It is not fair treating me like this in my holidays!! Stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope tomorrow, everyone will suffer of boredom like me.!!!

LOst lost lost!!~~~~~~~~~~~~

Can't believe that today was the most suckiest day of my life. 1st, I can't get anyone to go to the church tommorrow and not to mention that everyone is going to have fun only me. And well, my di di for another guy, he kinda make me cry today. Haih. I mean, of all person. That's why I really feel that I should just dissappear and never come back. I wish that I can really go back to the camp days where I and Eddie was together. I don't like coming back here. I thaught when my di di's spm thingie was over, he will remember me and kinda can spent time with me and this and that. It looks like I was wrong. He was kinda harsh to me today. I have nothign to say anymore. I hate this world. Everyone is going insane including myself. I hate today. It is the most sukiest day of my lifeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..!! I hateeeeeeeeeeee it!!!!!

Friday, December 17, 2004

A story chapter V||

Jessie look directly into Ken's eyes. Ken couldn't move. In his mind he now could at least say he is sorry. He open his mouth and try to say that he is sorry but nothing came out. Jessie scowl Ken saying that he lied to her. All Ken could say was no! Jessie ignore what Ken was saying and just stormed off. Great, he could not get the girl he wanted and he screw things up and made the girl of his dreams angry at him again.
The next day, Ken saw Jessie walking to her class. He call her name but she just ignore it. He ran towards her. At last, he keep up with her and grab her arm. Jessie struggle and asked what he wants. Ken just wanted to explain why is he doing all of this. So Ken explain it to her. Then at last, Ken told her that he actually liked or even love her and in order to remove her from his mind, he got to avoid her. Jessie was shocked. Ken knew he should just walk away. But he can't. Jessie wanted to say something when someone calls out Jessie's name. Both of them look. It was Peter. Then Jessie turn to Ken and said that she'll call him later to tak about it.With that, she walk towards Peter leaving Ken staring at her.
After school, Ken was halfway going to walk off from the school, when someone grab his shoulder. It was Peter. Peter invited him and his friends to the shopping mall because it was his birthday. Ken was suprise. His own friends birthday he can even forgot. So Ken agreed. They went ice skating. Jessie couldn't skate of course. Peter wanted to teach her but she didn't agree with him. She didn't want him on his birthday to teach her how to ice skate. He should have fun. SO Peter, did what she said and go on and skate. Ken came a few minutes after that, and saw Jessie having difficulty of skating, so he went there and teach her hwo to ice skate. Both of them were holding hands and then, suddenly, Jessie fall down but Ken grab her and Jessie fall down on his chest. Jessie felt so comfortable landing on his chest. Everyone saw that and Ken realise that. So he quikly help Jessie up. Peter saw that and he skate towards both of them and ask Jessie whether is she okay.
Later after the ice skating, Ken saw Jessie sitting alone. She was holding her neck as if she was thristy. Ken was drinking a mineral bottle. So he ask her to have some. Jessie said no thanks because Peter is buying for her drink. Ken smile. Then he sit next to Jessie. Then all of a sudden, Jessie feels that she is having a headache. She was holding her head. She was seeing things double vision. Then suddenly she fainted. Ken saw her going to collapsed and then she held out for her before she hit the ground. She landed safely in his arms. Ken shouted for help. Peter came back at the same time and saw what happen and run towards them. Peter squawt down next to Ken and ask Ken what happened. Ken told Peter he doesn't know. But in Ken's mind, this is not a good sign and whatever is going to happen, he is going to be in a major supprise.
Set by
- Jessica Tan -
Ahahahaha...I just woke up and guess what?I not yet eat..Lol.Porbably I'll cook maggie mee and eat.Lol.I can't really eat any rice yet. Hmm...stupid stomache. Anyway, now chatting with people. Haih, and my stomahce is growling for food..I guess gotta go now. By the way, how's the story going on? LOL!! Anyway, bye guys.Gotta go and eat.

A story chapter V|

Ken went home. He was having a headache thinking about what happen today in the canteen. He sit down on his couch when he reach home and well, he didn't feel so good. He needed something to get his mind off Jessie. He needed a distraction. Then suddenly. the phone rang. Ken was happy. At least some of his friends will ask him to hang out but instead, it was Peter calling to tell Ken that he already couples with Jessie today and tell Ken that Jessie was next to him. Peter invited Ken to go watch movie with them but Ken didn't wanna bother both of them. Later on, Jessie spoke to Ken. She went somewhere far to speak. She thank Ken and apologise to him how mean was her to be angry at him after all he had done for her. Ken just smile and said that he didn't help out anything. Then once again Jessie invited him but he didn't want to. Jessie knew somethign was wrong with Ken with the tone of his voice. She asked him but he said that he was having a problem that was nothing she can do to help. So Jessie said okie and well, she put down the phone.
Ken open his exercise book and try doing his favourite subject homework which was maths and he can't do it. He didn't even know how to do it which was weird. He didn't pay attention in the class. The mom came in and teach him and well, the mom talk to Ken about Jessie. And the mom ask Ken to concetrate on his studies since there's no way to get her at all.
The next day, Jessie saw Ken and approach him which make Ken nearly jump up. He was kinda avoiding Jessie which Jessie realise too. And Jessie was sad which makes Ken feels that he was like a jerk to make Jessie sad which he shouldm't be doing. SO HE spent time with her before the bell rings. Peter wasn't in school yet so they spent time until he comes. Th elater on break time, Jessie and Peter, and Ken plus the other of their gang join together. Ken can't stand seeing Peter feeding Jessie the french fries and the way they were so close to each other. He knew that he was jealous and now he knows that he is not just treating Jessie as a normal friend. He loves her as much as how Peter loves her now and all that was because Ken helped them to be together.(Well, part of it)
After school, Jessie asked Ken whether can she follow him home?. Ken told her that can't because he got to go back to his mom working's place to help her with something which was a total lie. Jessie's smile faded. Ken didn't mean to hurt her. He can't keep on spending time with her coz she is making him totally insane. So Jessie said, that she will fins osmeone else to walk home with her. Then she walk away. Ken didn't wan her to leave but he can't change what he had just said. So he left too. Then later on, he reach home. At the same time, Jessie saw him went home. She was at the same road and saw him went in his house. Jessie felt so weird. Jessie remembred that he rejected her because he wanted to go to his mom working place.
Ken opne his door and went in.He throw away his books and his bag on the floor. He was about to sit down when there was a doorbell. He open it. He saw someone that he didn't expected to see. " Huh?... Jessie?.." Ken was shocked. Jessie couldn't believe it. He lied to her. Ken saw her face and knew she was going to burst any moment. Ken never see Jessie's eyes like this before. So much pain inside.
Set by
- Jessica Tan -

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Why am I feeling like that this few days?

Nowaday's. I feel like vomiting and I don't know why. I can't eat as much as I can anymore. It is really scaring me. I hope I don't have any sickness or anything. Anyway, I'm gonna eat my dinner now. So tata~~ Bye guys. Keep on reading the story ya?. Give some comments please. Thanks.

A story chapter 5

Ken asked Jessie where she get the money from and Jessie said that seh work and get the money and get the money. Ken was so shocked and told her that she shouldn't have done something so stupid. Jessie told Ken that it isn't so stupid at all. It is worth it for her. Ken keep on telling her that it wasn't right until Jessie feels that telling Ken is a big mistake and jsut turn away and walk off leaving Ken there looking at her. Ken realise that he was too harsh on Jessie but what's the use in calling her now when she was so far awaY. Ken will make it up to her later.
At break time, Ken saw Jessie showing the watch and giving the watch to Peter. By the look on Peter's face, Ken realise that Peter was so happy and Ken knew that Peter didn't even bother to ask Jessie where she get the money. Ken couldn't stand it. How could Peter just receive it? Ken walk to where Peter and Jessie was standing. Jessie saw Ken walking to their was and she told Peter something and walk off. Ken stare at Jessie when she went off and knew that she was still angry at him about what happen today. Ken slapped Peter's back. Peter turn and greeted Ken. His face is still lighten up in happiness. Ken told Peter the whole story while they were walking to their usual place where they alwayz eat. Peter was shocked when Ken told him that Jessie likes him and that's why she was willing to do all that for him. Ken told Peter to give the watch back if he doesn't have the same feeling towards Jessie. Peter told him that he is going to be couple with Jessie. Ken was shocked when he heard Peter said that. Ken put his hand on Peteer's shoulder and aske him is he sure what is he saying?. Peter nodded hi head and he was looking at the back of Ken's shoulder. Ken was confuse why was Peter looking at the back of his shoulder. Ken turn and saw Jessie stnading there.
Jessie look at Ken and she felt that that Ken has told Peter how she get the money and that makes her hate Ken more. She wanted to run away but Peter chase after her. Jessie felt that someone grab her arm. She turn and look and the person she never expected to grab her arm was the one grabing now. She felt that she's going to faint any moment. She never was this close with Peter before.
Peter when nearer to her until their forehead touches and Peter told Jessie that Ken had told him everything and he said that she was stupid to do all of that just for him just like what Ken had told her but something Ken never said to Jessie comes out from Peter's mouth and that was, " I love you too Jessie. No one does and appreciate me this much as you do" Jessie feel that she was blushing. And then she feel that Peter is going to kiss her any moment and that's what she was hoping for all along that hee dream guy will kiss her in front of everybody only that they weren't in the canteen anymore. They were at the corner of the canteen. Then after a few seconds had past, she felt that Peter's hand was on her cheek and her lips was finally on Peter's lips. She close her eyes and put her hands behins Peter's neck and begin to respond to the kisses.
Someone was watching them from a far. It was Ken. He felt happy and at the same time he was sad. Ken keep on thinking why is he sad? He was the one help Jessie and Peter go together. Ken walk away. He can't stand to see them kissing at the corner. He finally understand that he was actually jealous. But why? He never had any feelings for Jessie and now he has? Or maybe he does just that he never realise it earlier on because they were always having funand maybe that's the reason why he thought that he just treat her as a friend. But now when he sees her in the arms of another guy, not to mention, his friend, he feels jealous. He felt that he lost someone special.Ken just try to not think about it and just buy a drink and went up tp his class.Anyway, he is going to make sure that Peter's and Jessie's relationship is going to work out, and he is going to help out if there's any problem going on. But inside his heart that what he really wants was to let Peter and Jessie to be just normal friends. Ken again shook his head to not to think about him spoiling their relationship. He was going to make Jessie happy and he knew he told Jessie that before and he will do that. Will he?
Set by
- Jessica -

Saturday, December 11, 2004

A story Chapter |V

At last, Jessie got the dress that she thinks suits her. The next day, Ken saw her in school again, and asked her whether did she found out what will she be wearing?. Jessie answered yes. Ken was so happy. But Jessie still don 't understand why he wants Jessie to go instead of other more prettier and popular girls. Anyway, she didn't want to think about it anymore.
That day when was the party day, which was saturday, Ken came and pick Jessie up from her house. Jessie was so shock seeing Ken wear so formal and he looks extremely cute that day. To Jessie, Ken don't look like a guy she knew in school. And he looks completely different. Jessie almost fainted or can say vomit because the way he was wearing and his cuteness is killing her. She keeps on thinking, is she really going to go out with this guy? But she keep on reminding hersel that that guy is Ken. She know this guy in school. What's so strange going out with him today? Is still the same old Ken just that he looks different. Ken came out of his his car and went to Jessie's house doorstep.He look righ into Jessie's eyes same goes for Jessie, then he began saying " you look beautiful today". Jessie smile and thank him. He handed out his hand to Jessie to lead her down to his car like what all guys should do. He open the car door and Jessie went in the car sitting down smilling. Ken sit at the driver's sit and began driving.
On the way going to the hotel, Ken and Jessie talk a lot. Jessei keeps on complaining that she looks ugly and blaming Ken of him convincing her to go for the party. Ken just laugh because she looks cute. Not long after that, they reach the hotel and Jessie was so amaze and shock to see the hotel which is so grand and she really wish one day she can be that rich to hold a party there. Ken look at Jessie and told her that this hotel name is JW Marriot. Then Ken let out his elbow to escort her inside. When they were in, there were so many people and so many popular people that Jessie can't even recognise them or never seen them .She didn't even find any of her friends there. Ken whisper to Jessie to tell her that she don't need to be so shy and scared because he's there. Jessie felt weird hanging on to Ken often and scared that people might get the wrong idea about them. Ken then bring Jessie to meet with his sort of people and they didn't look so happy with Jessie being there. Jessie knew that but she didn't care because just like what Ken said, he is there with her. So both of them dance fast song and both of them were tired. Ken get Jessie a drink. Both of them laugh until Jessie spotted someone who is cute in the dance floor. She asked Ken who is that. Ken said is Peter. Jessie asked Ken for a favor to make Peter realise her. Ken said in order to make her happy, he will do it for her because he wants her to be happy in the party. So he introduce Peter to Jessie that night.
The next day, Ken purposely invited Jessie, Peter, and Ken himself to go out. So they did. They went out and Peter spotted this expensive watch that he wanted all along. But sadly he can't buy it because he can't afford it. Then in one long time of hanging out, all of them went back home. Then this few days, Ken keeps on asking Jessie to study with him in his house because exam is coming but Jessie said she can't. She was busy doing something. Ken felt weird. He keeps on wondering what will keep her so busy, The only thing that someone at her age will be busy is studying. "Maybe she wants to study by herself" Ken wondered. Few days past and one day Jessie came running to Ken and her face lighting up. She was beaming. He asked Ken to guess what had just happened. Ken said he doesn't know. Then Jessie take out a watch that looks exactly like the watch Peter was admiring. Ken was shocked.
Set By
- Jessica Tan -

Thursday, December 09, 2004

A story. Chapter |||

Once upon a time, there's this girl name Jessie. She has no friends and she don't care about all that. She has 1 older sister and she leaves with her dad since her parents has divorce. Everyday she go to school, she will jsut study like what a student should act. And she always gets good results. That's when she isn't interested in drawing yet. Later on when she was interested in drawing, her results always drop down. But this drawing of hers never goes away, cause she knew that this hobby can make her to be a successful girl.
Jessie went to secondary school and starting to think about love. She have friends but not close during break time. When she was form 5, she met a guy name Ken. Ken approach to her when he sees her sitting all alone by herself. He joined her for break and begin to talk to her. Ken is a very popular guy and almost every girl in school loves him. He is the total opposite of Jessie which is the quite type and unpopular. Ken begin to ask Jessie why doesn't she have any friends in school. Jessie explains to him that she has friends but not close duting break time. Then all of a sudden, Ken's friends saw Ken talking to Jessie and they look at Jessie with a disgusted look on their faces and ask Ken to join them. Ken said to them later . So after when the friends left, Ken apologise for their behaviour and started to talk again. Then Jessie tell Ken her problems. About friends mostly. Jessie has no idea why she can trust this guy so much. She can just like talk anythign to him. Then when break was over, Ken invited Jessie to go to a party that the one of the popular girl was having. Jessie refuse because she has nothign to wear. Ken just ask her to wear a mini T and jeans. Jessie still don't agree but Ken beg her saying that he needs to have a parnter. He doesn't like other girls to be his partner. He likes Jessie's character which is understanding. So Jessie agrees to go. Later on, after school, Ken told her that she needs to wear a prom dress because that girl is holding it in a hotel.So she asked her sister for her sister's oppnnion.
Set By
- Jessica Tan-

A story chapter 2

When Jessie went to form 2, she likes 7 guys altogether straight. And well, she can't get any of them. She likes Jeremy when she was in form 2.They are also in the same class and well, Jeremy, didn't even have any single tiny bit of feelings towards Jessie. But to Jessie, form 2 is her most happiest year of her life. In form 3, all her friends seperated from her because of Elizabeth. They all go away from her because they don't like Elizabeth. Jessie tries to go avoid Elizabeth but can't. Until almost end of the year, Jeremy likes Jessie and asked her to be couples with her. Jessie was so shocked that Jeremy has feelings on her so she really did accept.
In form 4, Jessie only last with Jeremy for a couple of days due to the knowledge that he doesn't know how to treat a gf so right. Then days goes on and Jessie found another boyfriend in Seremban when she went for vacation. They lasted for like 1 month Then days goes on and Jessie found another boyfriend which also leaves in Seremban. They met in church camp. His name is Eddie. They lasted for 2 weeks. Then again she met another guy in form 5 who is Bryan. They lasted 4 3 months. In this 3 months, a lot of things she got to go through with her boyfriend, but she try to hold on to it until the boyfriend can't take it anymore and he was the one broke up with her. Later on, she found another guy name Marvin and they lasted for 1 month and a half. After that relationship, she kind of can't believe in guys anymore.
Few days later, she met a guy in the net, name Dexter. He treated her like a normal friend at first. She treated her the same too. Later on, noth of them started to miss each other and they always goes online just to see each other nicks online and that will make them so happy. Later on, Dexter told Jessie, that he likes her and want to be couples with her. Jessie don't know what to do. He stays so far and well, she can't really trust guys anymore, but anynow, she somehow got a feeling that this guy is somewhat different from other guys. She has no idea why in the world she thinks this way but she love it that she thinks this way. Later on they couple up until now. Jessie would like to write a story to you guys out there.
Set By
- Jessica Tan -

Polar Express.

Just came back a few hours ago.Buahahaha. Went and watch the Polar Express with Jeremy. It is an animation story. It was okie but I still prefer tjhe incredibles. Well, the cinema was damn bluddy cold. And well guess what?.My dear is comign on christmas eve which is my dad's birthday.Ahahaha, dear, if you are reading this, must buy soemthign for my dad. No la, just joking. Anyway, um, I'm kinda excited to see my own bf coming here and get to spent time with him. Well, i hope he feels the same as me. Hey dear, and all of you guys out there, please read this story that i'm creating. It means something at the end if you read it. Okie, ciao guys..I'm kinda sleepy now. BYE!.Goodnite.

A story. CHAPTER 1

Ever wonder that sometimes, we just couldn't stop asking for more? I have a story to tell. And Im gonna make a comic out of it. Then later, whoever who reads it or follows the story, is gonna be suprised at the end of the day. And now, I'm gonna just like start with my story.
There's this girl named Jessie. Her parents divorce when she's young. And she lives with her dad now. She has 1 older sis and they don't get a long that well.Only sometimes that is and she don't really care. When she was small, in kindergarden, she has friends and she don't care about all that. She only wanna make her parents(including her mom) to be proud at her and to do that, she wanna get good results. So she is trying her best to get good grades and yeah, she did. She continue to have good grades and more and more friends until she reach standard 3.
She have no idea, why she can fail her maths and well, her father was really dissappointed at her. It is like getting 100 all through out the whole year and doing so good at all those years then suddenly 100% becoem 10% at her maths test. She her ownself can't believe it with her own eyes. Her dad was really dissappointed at her and so was herself either. She keep on asking herself, how can she lop that bad on her maths test? Right until the nest year, she didn't really get the answer.
So years went by and Jessie now is in standard 5 and she met a friend who can draw and she loves to draw instead of studying. Jessie's occupation always wish that she could become a doctor but now after she can draw, she wants to become an animator instead. So her results in school always gets low and as usual, her dad isn't happy at her results. So she try harder and harder to study like lastime, but it is just not working because, she isn't interested in things without cartoons. And all of her life, she knew that she can't study righ now after she was addicted to drawing.
When she reach standard 6, she met a guy named Bryan Ng, that she thinks that he is hot. She will do anything, jsut to approach him, and she thaught that Bryan thaught the same thing as her.But she thaught wrongly cause at the end of the year, he gave a rose to her friend and that's how she lost her love.
When she went to high school, she always asked herself that she is going to study hard and gonna find her true love. She went to her class after everything, and then she met a girl name Elizabth, and she didn't really liked her but Jessie isn't that kind of girl which love to hurts people feelings so whoever approach her will jsut be her friends but sadly, she got to change class, so she got to leave Elizabeth and then she went to another class, and over there, she met a lot of people and they striaght away be her friend. There's 1 annoying guy that she think that he is. His name is Jeremy and well,she hates him.
Jessie, likes a guy working in a restaurant and well, he came to the school to learn english.She met him and well, fall in love with him. It is something like love at 1st sight. Then later on, he likes her too just that both don't wanna admit. Jessis asked her friend to tell her friend to ask that guy...and that guys answer is no. Jessie was soooooooo angry at him and well she isnt going to waste her time to like him too. Then one day, the guy asked his friend to ask me whether do Jessie like him or not?Jessie was still angry at him and she straight away said without thinking and said no. The guys friend striaght away went back and tell him the answer. Jessie saw his expression on his face how hurt and sad he is. Jessie didn't care. She thaught that it will serve him right. The next day, that guy that Jessie loves didn't come to school. The day after that, he isn't there too. Then this goes on for a week. Jessie was getting worried and ask 1 of that guys friend. The friend told Jessie that he has gone back to penang. She was so sad but tears wouldn't coem down. She has lost someone that she truly loves and she regreted not telling someone that she loved him. And the worst part is she told him that she son't love him at all.
- Jessica Tan -

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

It's been a long time since I didn't write. Hmmm, well, it is all because of my line la..So I can't even play gb. ROAR!! Anyway, um, I just woke up, and gotta eat soon..Waiting for my sis to finish up her bath then only I can use the toilet. Okay,gotta go now..My stomache don't feel that good...

Sunday, December 05, 2004

I'm BACK OLEDI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi ppl!! I'm back!!! From where?.From camp!! Anyway, um, I just wanna tell all of you guys out there what I experiemced today! In the camp today in Seremban, I kind of felt a but sad and well I felt something that my family never felt before. I actually almost fainted and I bow down and prayed. I never done that before. And I wanna make myself a promise saying that I'm gonaa try change myself after today's prayer and woship. I'm gonna let the God take hold of me. And well. from today, I'm gonna try to believe in God so much until I won't even blame him for now on.
Anyway, I met my ex bf over there and well, we kind of like hold hands there because I was cold, and well, it was nice seeing him again and once again, NOT FAIR!! He did not paid for the camp and he came and eat yesterdday's food for free, and well, okie la.I was glad he was there, if not, I won't be happy. And yesterday was the most happiset day of my life lor. Coz of him also lor. And well yeah, of course I miss my dear also. And not to forget about Jeremy and Bryan toooooo!!Anyway, um, i learned so so so much about the camp and well, I'm able to like learn so so so so much from this camp. Although is not so so so much fun there, at least, I've learn so so much things. To be able to listen and to pay attention to more of God's word. Well, Im starting to change slowly I guess. Maybe my friends will be the only person who know's I changed. And well, I feel so happy now, and I have no idea why. Okie..I gotta go call Foong Wan. I have no idea what had happened. She needs someone like how I need God. I have no idea what I gonna do to comfort her, but anything it is, I'm ready to help.Bye ppl and m,y fwens.I love you all and God Bless.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004


My head so pain leh.! Haih, I wanan sleep but I can't cause early..Sooooooooooooooo early. Anyway, just wanna tell you guys that I will be back on Sunday and I will tell my news about my camp about what is happening on that camp la..Anyway, wanna go play gb oledi..I never play today a lot.Haih, keep on losing. Okie..bye bye..Check out irc 1st la..bye.


Read the title and what does it say?..SHUTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go and watch this show.It is a Thai horror movie.Damn nice. Yesterday I went and watch it with Jeremy and then leh, he was scared for the 1st time. AHAHAHAHAHA~!! I mean I never seen him like this before.Well, we did what I wanted him to do to me and thanks for doing that Jeremy. Sorry guys I never keep you guys updated yesterday. Anyway, um, yesterday wasn't so much like what I expected or wasn't exactly aliek like that day. But overall, well, it is okie. My body doens't hurt so much. ahahahaha....That's the good part.
Tomolo is my camp...It is starting tomorrow. I not yet finish packing, just a little things I got to pack up and then I'm done. Anyway, excited or not for that camp, well, YEAH!!! Now I feel so energetic.Ahahaha..I wish I can see my ex bf there(EDDIE) Anyway, um, don't know what more to write. Well just bless me cause I;m going tomorrow and well, DEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love youuuuu!! My last message before I go..muakzzzzzzzz!! Muakkkkkkkkkkzzzzzzzzz to all of you too out there.