Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Fed up and I really mean it this time.

Hi to all my fans of bloggers. Here's another thing that I came in my mind. See that title up there? I think you all don't need to guess who. Yup, it's Ang Teik Sheng. Since Friday when that bitch of his came down for a talk and he took her up to Genting. God knows what happens. And I thought I was like one of his closest friend. Being to care. Being to worry for him. I feel like I shouldn't anymore.
Guess what? He came down from Genting and Lord and behold, nothing and no news from him until Monday early morning, he message me Goodnight and his mood is not really good so that's why he didn't message me on Saturday and Sunday. Uh, to me, I have a bad weekend too. I have bad news, but I don't go and you know, make people all worry about me. I just know that I hate him. He just message me just now and got me worried. Saying things about he has a big issue. Saying that his mum will settle it for him. Some more he got me worried when he say something like the issue is too big until he almost near like dying. That's the first part that made me worried. I send him multiple voice messages...Not even one was response back. Just few seconds ago with asking me not to worry because his mum is talking to him. Again, not telling me. Again just let me and keep me in a dense. 
Who does he thinks I am? A person with no feelings? A girl who will just remain steady and calm when left alone? Wow! If this is what he thinks then fine. If really don't want me to care anymore. I won't! You asked for it. I won't care after today.
After worrying and caring for so long. Wanting to know so badly what he is actually feeling. And if he is not going to share then that means, I AM NOT HIS FRIEND AND NEVER EVER WILL BE FROM THE START. I WAS JUST TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STUPID AND NAIVE TO EVER THINK THAT ANG TEIK SHENG WAS A GOOD GUY! I hate him. And remember this I hate him! Really. I won't care less about him anymore. I don't think anything he can do now to ever bring me to ever talk to him ever again. He wants to clarify things with me on Friday, I don't give a shit. Sure, I will dig out every sense of problem he has but I won't solve his problems, nor I will care anymore about his problems. Since he didn't even give me an open door in the beginning. FUCK YOU ANG TEIK SHENG. Good luck in finding someone else who will care about you like me. I doubt, no one ever will! GOODBYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE!

Sunday, April 07, 2019

Okay, hello to all my beloved bloggers. Whether any of you would wanna judge, I let you be the judge on this one. My whole family today officially had a fight with this guy which is my stupid brother in law. He is my so called brother in law la but I claimed and declare that I'm not anymore from today onwards. Any of you knows who is he then good. But all I can say is that. From day 1, I have never liked him. He put salt, and pepper into my mum's and dad's brain and tried to do it on me just to make the whole family liked him but me being the most sensitive person in the family felt something was wrong. But of course, nothing could have been done so because of my sister's happiness, things goes on.Life goes on. To cut the long story short. I just wanna say when things goes on, and life keeps on going on. With him IN IT!!! Disaster happens. And when disaster happens, in a family relationship, everything will become sour. He have never liked my boyfriend which is soon to be my husband. Lastime he always use this phrase on my boyfriend saying that he isn't my husband yet but now he cannot say that anymore. As for today's incident which made me shouted and sound up nicely to him is as you all know, I have bought a new furniture. And because of buying, the old have to go. So the 2 single bed mattress, we have to throw. So we didn't know where to throw, so we were looking for a place to throw and we saw it. And because the mattress is really long, it cannot be fitted into my boyfriends car. So we asked if we can use my dad's car instead since my dad's car is a mini SUV. Then just now after dinner, we actually already loaded all the things inside the SUV. On the way back, my sister did offered to drive my dad's SUV and she didn't even mentioned anything about how come we aren't using my boyfriends car instead. I think she has more brains than that idiotic bastard. And before we reached our house, he keeps on making a statement (typical Beng Kuan) saying that this is our thing AND WE SHOULD BE THE ONE SETTLING. UH.....hello....we are going to be driving there and throwing the stuff out without your help also we know. It's just that the car can't be fitted inside the saloon car. Explained it but he said 'IT YOUR THING, YOU SHOULD SETTLE IT" And somemore, with that stupid idiotic face, and that annoying voice of his. ,my fiance got really angry and just say "nextime jaga your mulut la" And then he said " THIS IS YOUR THING. YOU SHOULD BE SETTLING IT" AGAIN!!!! OH MY GOD! And then that's where i butt in and say "BK, can you please don't make a statement nextime? That's all we're asking" And then he said "BUT this is your thing" Already raising voice. I got mad and raised my voice "I know this is our thing. I'm just using my dad's car because that mattress cannot fit in the car! Why you always making statements!?? And then he walk straight to me, go very near me like nearly wanted to hit me and shouted at me saying this listen very carefully. He said "I MAKING STATEMENTS BECAUSE I'M RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Wow! good job! Clap hand for you) So just now after he said that, my fiance all pushed him away, my dad have to stop the fight same goes to my sister pulling him too. Can you imagine, he wants to fight with me? A girl? Wow..I can't imagine how if he even fights with my sister. I don't even wanna know but if he ever hurts my sister, he is dead meat. But today, he declared war to me, and my fiance. To my dad he can act like nothing happen but God knows how my dad feels towards him already. And my sister, I can just wish her good luck and feel very sorry that she has no choice but to pick this bastard. No choice.......if anyone wants to know the full length of story, be my guess and PM me. " i have said what I have to say today to him which is..............
1) You are a disgrace to our own religion (Christian) Below is why I say this;-
a) You look down on people who can't speaks English properly
b) You judge people
c) You have never liked my boyfriend/fiance/husband
d) You don't respect your wife family members(this is today and other days)
e) You have never been around to help and be little others
f) Act cheerful and helpful in church but in the house you're a bloody monster! Stop your acting!

2) From today onwards, you can never be whatever we are suppose to be
3) I hate you
4) You are not my brother in law. I do not have this kind of brother in law. You're not even qualifiied.
5) Been tons of months have been patient but today I won't be patient and just shut my mouth already.
6) You are the one that made this day today on how it is. Remember this, I hate you!
This is like a summary on what I said to him. And yes, I called him names because I was really mad at him. And I'm just calling hiM names. But he came to me and shouted at me as if he wanted to hurt me. So you guys be the judges. He has been making a lot of statements about my fiance many times and many times we tried to be the goody person and just stay quiet but today, sorry, he tested my patients and yes HE IS NO MORE MY BIL! I HATE HIM! CASED CLOSED! And I can tell you, a self centered person like him will not know what is sorry. An arrogant person will always be an ego and selfish person. He is a selfish person. If nothing better to say then don't say. If you dont want to help don't either. We have never asked anything from you at all. And keep on asking us to settle our own. When he has something to do in his condo, he also always asked my dad to go with hi to the condo and shit. Did I say someting like " THIS IS YOUR THING! YOU SHOULD SETTLE IT YOURSELF!? Before saying things, ask yourself first la!
A message to him:
Nextime, Jaga your mulut baik baik. Today is too late to turn back the clock. Me and my fiance will never look at you the same because you have declared war against this peaceful family we once have but now because of your bloody existence in this family, I'm very saddened and disappointed that my sister have no choice but to pick you! You! OF ALL PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET! Of all my sister's ex's and her past relationships, NONE....REMEMBER THIS BK, NONE OF THEM HAVE EVER DID WHAT YOU DID TO ME AND MY FIANCE SO YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY ANYTHING! I don't blame my sister. I blame you for everything from day 1 till now! I hate you forever! Mark my words. Unless you learn your own flaws and learn how to respect others and know how to sincerely say you're sorry then only maybe I can 4give you but now is a TOTAL 100% NO! I GOT SICK BECAUSE OF YOU. of you earting so bloody late! And somemore today shouting at you! Anything happen to me, you're so dead! I hope GOD will bless you. And please go and pray more. Don't need to act in work and in church, YOU AREN'T A GOOD PERSON! I KNEW IT FROM DAY 1 BUT LIKE YOU'RE A GOOD ACTOR SO NO ONE NOTICES!
Everything I write here is 100% truth and facts. I'm tired and yes, I am getting rid of him from my life. Adios and goodnight people.

Friday, April 05, 2019

A True Love Feeling Episode 4

Gang's message Billy:Hey are you guys coming to Julia's birthday? I already made plans.
Gang's message Guy B: Yeap. Send us the details.
Gang's message Guy D: That girl has always been with us and took care of us. Of course I'm not going to miss her birthday
Gang's message Billy: Alright.

Billy realize that Terrence isn't answering.
Gang's message Billy: Hey Terrence. Are you in? I have to make reservations.
Gang's message Terrence: Sorry. I was checking my schedule. Um...sure I'll be there.
Gang's message Billy: Great.
So as they were confirming on where the place was, Terrence put down his phone and sit at his room table chair. He woke up feeling really drowsy but he knows that he had an amazing time lastnight with the dudes. And he also can remember very clearly that he has spend sometime with a girl. Not even knowing her name.
Terrence thinking: She's hot though. Oh well, I guess I won't be seeing her anymore.
Then he went and browse on his badminton app again. Trying to see which badminton games he can find. And then, that same girl that invited him lastime, invited him again. 
Terrence: Hmmm....Oh alright. I'll try to join her.
So he accepted her invitation. 
The next day, was his first day to work. So after settling all the formalities, he went and sit down on his seat and just getting used to everything. That night, at Billy, he went out with Julia at a cafe. Just the two of them.
Julia: Thanks for going out today.
Billy: Sure, no problem.
Julia: Work is crazy huh?
Billy: Yeah. Working life sucks. I still remember we were in uni with the rest of the guys.
Julia: They are still here. You haven't contacted them lately?
Billy: I did.
Julia: Good. We are always going to be good and close friends. That will never change.
Billy: Yes.
There were a few moments of silence. Then Billy started to talk.
Billy: Are you free in another 2 more days?
Julia: Huh? Why?
Billy: Well, it's your birthday right?
Julia thinking: Wow, he actually remembers.
Julia: I didn't thought that you remember. 
Billy: Of course I'll remember. I will always remember things about you.
Julia thinking: What? Oh my god.
Julia: Oh okay. Thanks?
Billy: Why? Not used on me saying things like that?
Julia: You're right. I'm not used to it. But, I'm fine.
Billy: Okay. 
Then they continue eating and talking about her birthday plan.  The next in Terrence working place, he was at his place just reading over some of his work documents when his phone rang. Then he picked it up and it was his boss, telling him to go to his room. So hew went there. As soon as he approached the room, he saw one girl there. He smile at the girl, the girl also smile back at him. Then he turn to his boss with a confused face on who this girl is.
Boss: This is our new intern Terrence.
Terrence: Oh hi. Pleased to meet you.
Intern: Pleased to meet you too.
Terrence thinking: Wow, she's pretty.
Boss: So Terrence, I will just leave her to you okay?
Terrence thinking: Leave her to me?
Terrence: Um.....okay.
Boss: Although you're also new here but I know you can guide her once you get the hang of it. From time to time, she'll also be handling jobs assigned by me too.
Terrence: Noted boss.
Boss: Alright. You guys are dismissed.
Terrence & Intern: Thank you.
So they head outside of the room.
Terrence: Soooooo, do you know where are you sitting?
Intern: Yes. Registration all are done. I'll be sitting there. 
She pointed where she is going to sit and then Terrence got a shocked on his face.
Terrence thinking: What? She's sitting behind me?
Terrence: Um...that's just behind me.
Intern: Oh really?
She looks really excited
Intern: Looks like you and me are gonna be close from now on.
Terrence thinking: Hmmm, yeah. Close. She's not bad looking either.
Terrence smile to himself and thought that this might change his love life. After that, at night Terrence was eating dinner alone. Then he suddenly feel lonely. He thought about it a long time. He missed his college days where Julia and Billy all were there and thought about at this hour, back in uni, what will they be doing. After dinner, he drove his car. He didn't want to to back to his house yet. He drove for a very long time until he stop. And when he look on his ride. He saw that club. The club that he met that girl. Feeling excited all of a sudden, he went there. As he stepped in the club with loud music, he spotted her at a distance. She also spotted him of course. She smile and walk to him.
Girl: Hi Handsome. You're here again? Alone this time?
Terrence: I came because I kept my promise. I say I'll see you again.
The girl smile at him and then said.
Girl: I believe that you left this with me?
She took out a piece of paper. Terrence took the folded paper and unfold it and it was the note that he put inside the pocket.
Terrence: Yes, I purposely put it there for you to actually call me but you didn't.
Girl: I don't need to do that. I know you'll come find me and now you're here.
She lean nearer and nearer to him and wanted to kiss his neck but Terrence pull away.
Terrence: Sorry. I'm just no money to pay you now.
Girl: It's okay. It's on me.
Terrence: No. I mean....can we just talk normally somewhere else? Here's too noisy.
Girl: Okay.
So she grab Terrence's hand and lead him to the back where it was quiet and no one was around.
Girl: We can talk here.
Terrence: Actually I want to ask you. Are you happy with this kind of life?
Girl: What kind of life?
Terrence: Like this. Working in a club? Selling your body just like that?
Girl: I'm not selling my body.
Terrence: Whatever you did to me it's not selling your body?
Girl: You know, I think you're not happy today so you just go and order a drink. I still have to work.
She wanted to go but Terrence grab her hand.
Terrence: Tomorrow. Tomorrow night. Take off. I'm coming to bring you somewhere and talk.
Without waiting for her answer. Terrence just walk away. The girl didn't even have time to answer him. But as he walks away, she smiles and knew that he actually cares for her.
Girl thinking: I think I've found the one
Then she quickly went inside to apply her leave. The next day after work. Terrence was packing up his bags when his intern saw him packing. So she just asked.
Intern: Rushing off?
Terrence: Errr...not really but I have to be somewhere.
Intern: Looks like the thing you're suppose to be at is important.
Terrence thinking: I'm not sure myself.
Intern: Anyway, tomorrow I have to go out with boss. So I'll be back by afternoon.
Terrence: Okay. I'll see you.
Intern: See you.
Then he went off. He can't wait to see the girl at the club. Then as soon as he reach there. She saw her standing outside. He park his car at one side and wave to her. She smile and wave back. And  then she walk to him.
Terrence: Ready?
Girl: Yeah. 
Then they went off. Terrence took her to a fancy dinner. 
Girl: Wow, I've never been to this kind of restaurant before. It must be expensive.
Terrence: Well, once awhile is fine.
Girl: Okay.
Terrence: So by the way. I don't even know your name.
Girl: You can call me Melanie.
Terrence thinking: Evcn her name is sexy.
Terrence: Nice name.
Melanie: Thanks.
Terrence. You know my name?
Melanie: Yea..That day your friends have mentioned your name so I know.
Terrence: Okay.
Then suddenly, Terrence phone rang.  It was Billy calling. He put a 1 minute gesture to Melanie saying that he h as to pick up this call a minute. Melanie just smile and nodded. Terrence get up and walk away to answer the phone.
Terrence: Hello?
Billy: Terrence. Where are you? Everyone's waiting for you.
Terrence: Waiting for me? For what?
Billy: Didn't you remember? Julia's birthday party? You said you're in.
Terrence: That was today?
Terrence quickly look at his calendar and for that instant, he was so pissed with himself,
Terrence thinking: Ahhh, I'm such a jerk,
Terrence: I'm sorry Billy. Can you just tell all of them I can't make it?
Billy: What? Why? Dude, You know today is that day I'm confessing right? You have to be here.
Terrence: I know you can do it. Besides the others are all with you. I......um....I'm busy...with work. Sorry. I also got lost track of time.
Billy: Sigh. Okay. But Julia won't be happy about this. Don't work too hard and wish me luck.Bye.

Terrence: Good luck bro and bye.
Then Terrence hang up the phone and sigh deeply. 
Terrence thinking: Well, it's better to not go and seeing my bestfriend confessing to a girl I like right? Besides, I'm on a date with a beautiful girl here waiting for me. Yup, I have no regrets.
Then Terrence walk back to his seat. Back at Billy there, Julia was constant looking for Terrence. She saw Billy and she knew he has called him. Billy waslk to her and said.
Billy: Sorry. He isn't coming. He has to stay back in work. 
Julia's face from happy to really disappointed. Then she said trying to hide her disappointment. 
Julia: It's okay, without him, we still can move on with the party.
Guy D: Happy birthday Julia. 
Then they sang a birthday song to Julia and then Julia made a wish and blow the candles. Then after that they distributing the cake to each other. Billy was always looking at Julia and he knew that she was disappointed that Terrence weren't there. After the whole party ended. Billy offered to send Julia home. Inside the car, there were silence. Then Billy just started the conversation.
Billy: Hope you had fun tonight.
Julia: Oh you did well. Don't worry about it.
Billy: I'm sorry that Terrence could not make it.
Julia: Huh? Why are you saying sorry for him? I mean he needs to work so it's okay. Work is much more important anyway.
Billy: Okay.
Then not long after that he reach her house.
Julia: Thank you for everything tonight. I'll see you again.
Billy: Okay.
Julia: Bye.
Then before she can move out, Billy call her.
Billy: Julia Wait!
Julia turn.
Julia: Yes?
Billy thinking: Here goes nothing.
Billy: I....um....there's something I really need to tell you. I've been keeping it inside for a long time already.
Julia: Oh my. What is it?
Billy: I.....I................................I like you Julia.
Set By - Jessica Tan - 

Thursday, April 04, 2019

Life update

Hey blogers and my fans! Been not updating for quite sometime? Yeah. Well, about my brother and me, All I can say is that, I'm through with him, although I'm going to ask him  does he have any feelings towards me maybe in June or something. If you noticed something, that I've been recently starting a story. That is actually my brother's story and mine. I also don't care much about him anyway. He is actually for me a very messed up person and a poor soul.
I was trying to help him to get rid of this Thai girl but when I was helping him, he didn't even want to follow any piece of advice I've given him. So I decided to just let him go on and maybe to accommodate his little feelings to his Thai girl, I asked him to agree for her to come down here and have a talk and he even agreed to take her up to Genting for a talk when I strongly told him is a big no no. What's disappointing is that he even knows but he still agrees to take her up there. Well, so I got over it and finally just let it slide but then now, she might not be coming down and the last thing I heard was she is threatening him.
What I really hate about this bitch is that she keeps on harassing my brother and what I hate about my brother is he keeps on replying her messages and falls to her trap every single time.This is totally insane. And whenever I asked him to not reply any of her calls,. he keeps on scared about this. Scared that she'll come down and find him and that's really good so that he can have that talk and end it and get it over with. I am out of ways to help him because he is not helping himself. Okay, if  he wants to continue suffering like this then so be it. I got to go since I'm in work now. Adios peeps! Maybe anyone has any suggestion can comment below. Thanks.

Tuesday, April 02, 2019

A True Love Feeling Episode 3

A sudden of rush emotions flow through Terrence hair. He don't know to feel happy, sad, jealous or confused. Everything just rushed in him.
Terrence: Wow, Billy. I seriously have no idea. I think most of the guys didn't expect this too.
Billy: Yea. I keep it to myself. Pretty cool huh?
Terrence thinking: That's pretty sad.
Terrence: Sooooooooooo, when are you going to confess?
Billy: Hmmm, I'm not sure. Tomorrow I guess.
Terrence: Wow, that's fast.
Billy: You think?
Terrence: Well, anyway, I'll support you.
Billy: Of course you will.
Terrence thinking: I should feel happy but I'm not. Why do i feel all this kind of emotions?
Then at night, Terrence went to a cafe and have a drink. He actually made an appointment with one of their guy gang friend. He needed a talk. That guy has not showed up yet.
Terrence thinking: It's already 9.30pm and he isn't here yet? What's up with that?
Then suddenly there was a slap at his back. It was his friend who have just arrived.
Guy B: Yo. Sorry I'm late
Terrence: No worries. Was actually thinking are you coming or not.
Guy B: You know I love coffee. Let me order a drink first.
After Guy B has finish order his drink, he turn to face Terrence.
Guy B: So what is it that you wanted to talk to me?
Terrence: Well, since you're the professional type in getting girls to talk to you, and also you know about relationships, um......if let's say if your friend tells you that he is interested in a girl and when he told you that, you feel the sense of.....how should I say it?

Guy B: Jealousy?
Terrence: I don't know if it's jealousy or not....also happy and confused at the same time too.
Guy B: Confused because of?
Terrence: I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.
Guy B; Well, simple. If you can feel happy and really really happy for him, then that means you're okay. You have no feelings towards that girl if that's what you're asking. But if you feel confused more than happy and also feel uneasy at the same time, means 2 things. 1 is you're actually feeling the same as your friend towards this girl or 2, you just care for that girl just in case your guy is a someone who cheats? I don't know what are the scenario's but that's basically what I can think of.
Terrence: Wow, you're really good. Well, I think I have already figured it out.
Guy B: Of course.
Terrence: Well, I think I have already figured it out.
Guy B: Figure what out?
Terrence: What I'm actually feeling. I've been denying quite awhile actually. Even when I was with Wendy.
Guy B: You mean?
Terrence: I tell you a secret but please do not say anything to the gang please.
Guy B: Promise.
Terrence: I actually like Julia.
Guy B shout: Holy shit!
Terrence: Hey, keep your mouth down will you?
Guy B Whisper: sorry.
Guy B: But seriously....I mean...what?
Terrence: What's so shocking? You guys always trying to hook me and her up so it's natural ro actually feel it. But anyway, I decided to not confess or anything since Billy is confessing tomorrow.
Guy B: What? Billy also like her? Wow, Julia has 2 guys fighting for her. She's all girly girl now.
Terrence: She has always been a girl, just you guys don't realized it. Please keep this a secret okay?
guy B: Promised and mouth zipped.
Then as they were talking a bag hit Terrence on his head.
Girl: Oh My God. I'm so so sorry.
Terrence: No worries. 
The girl smile and continue to walk.
Guy B: Wow.
Terrence: What?
Guy B: I don't know but if a girl hits you in the head accidentally, means you guys are fated to meet.
Terrence: What? No. I won't. I just ended up with Wendy today. I'm not thinking about another relationship please.
Guy B: Alright, I'm just saying.
So they keep on talking. Then the next day, Terrence went to apply a new college with his parents. After everything was settled, he just messaged his gang about his details. Terrence feels really really bored not doing anything so he browse one of his favorite sports badminton application in his phone and then suddenly, he saw an invitation by a girl. 
Terrence: Huh? This girl looks familiar. Oh well..
He ignored it and find something else to do. 

10 Months later.

Terrence was doing really well graduated and it's time to find a job. Within this 10 months, he has never forget about his gang. And he is quite active in his badminton too. After his graduation, the gang send him a message.
Gang's message Billy: Congratulations bro
Gang's message Julia: Congratz! Finally right?
Gang's message Guy D: Congrats. Let's celebrate!
Gang's message Guy C: Where where? Let's go tonight!
Gang's message Guy B: Okay. I'm on.
Gang's message Julia: I'm sorry. I'm out. I have something on tonight.
Gang's message Billy: I can't too guys...sorry.
Terrence message: Okay. Sure. I decided the place. 
Gang's message Guy B: Two of you can't make it? You guys are going out together? Hahaha. Just joking.
Terrence thinking: Oh no. He promised me to keep it quiet. I shouldn't have trust him.
Gang's message Julia: As for your information no we aren't going out. I don't know what Billy has but I have another appointment with my friend.
Terrence thinking: Hmmm, are they even together? Billy has not tell me anything. I thought that he is confessing 10 months ago? 
Terrence was really curious so he message Billy.
Terrence's message: Hey Billy. I thought you have confessed your feelings towards Julia 10 months ago. 
Billy's message: No. I was thinking to confess to her during her birthday.
Terrence thinking: Her birthday?
He quickly check his phone calendar.
Terrence's message: Maybe Billy is better for her. I can't even remember her birthday by in my own head.
Terrence's message: Okay cool. That's in another few more days.
Billy's message: Yea. I'm ready. I've waited 10 months for this.
Terrence's message: Good luck bro.
After messaging Billy, he knew that he shouldn't be wasting time on Julia anymore. Not too long after that he got a call from an unknown number.
Terrence: Hello?
Caller: Hello, May I speak to Terrence please?
Terrence: Speaking.
Caller: I'm calling from a company that you have applied a job for. Property job.
Terrence: Ah yes. I did apply.
Caller: Are you free to come to an interview later at about 4.30pm?
Terrence: Later? Sure. I'll be there.
Caller: Okay. We are sorry to inform this the very last second.
Terrence: Don't worry. Send me the details.
Caller: Okay. I will drop you an email,. Please check your email.
So Terrence straight away check his email and find something suitable to wear. After that he straight went to the venue earlier so that he won't get lost. After when it's time, he went inside and registered himself and waited patiently for his name to be called. When his name was called, he went inside and go ahead with the interview. After several of questions, he have successfully gotten through with the interview. As the company finds him really good in his presentation and the way he talks, is quite confident, they straight away welcome him.
Boss: Welcome aboard.
Terrence: Thank you so much sir. 
Then that night, since they wanted to celebrate his graduation and also his acceptance of his job. 
All: Cheers!
Guy B: Wow. Double combo.
Guy D: I don't know how you do it but you're so good. Looks like  your life will be smooth sailing from now on.
Terrence: No. I still am waiting for the right girl dude.
Terrence drink a lot that made the boys worry about him too.
Guy C: Hey, take an easy bro.
Guy B: You're drinking too much.
Terrence keeps on drinking. Although he's drinking a lot but he knows what he is doing.
Terrence: Don't worry. Let me drink tonight. I'm really really happy.
Guy D: Ooookay. 
Then from a distance, Terrence spotted a girl at the bar counter. Long wavy hair. He stare at her for a long time and then suddenly, she turn and look at him too. Terrence can't help it but he was stun.
Terrence thinking: Wow.. The girl of his dreams? Like an angel.
Then he tries to snap out of it and look again but the girl was gone. Then suddenly he turn back to face his friends the girl was there. He was shocked.
Girl: Do you all want some company?
Guy B: Sure!
Terrence: Dude.
Guy B: What? We suppose to enjoy ourselves tonight. Come on. 
Then Terrence look at her and she also was looking at him.
Terrence: Oh alright.
Girl: I'll ask my other girls to come right over but you must understand that we are not accompanying you for free. You have to pay us first.
Guy C: Wow. Sure. We know the rules.
Girl: Hold on. I'll go get them.
As the girl went and call her other mates, Terrence was quite nervous as this was his first time. Then not long after, she came with a bunch of girls and they other boys were enjoying themselves. The girl felt curious on why Terrence was not interested with the other woman. So she went to talk to him.
Girl: Aren't you interested?
Terrence look up at her.
Terrence: I'm only interested when I know I met the right person.
Girl: Just like what your friend says. This is a club. You come here mainly for a purpose to get laid or to have a girl accompany you the night.
The girl was putting her hands on his chest, Then she sit down next to Terrence and whisper softly.
Girl whisper: Am I right? Do you want me to accompany you?
Terrence whisper: Sure thing.
The girl smile and they drink a lot. Then when they were about to go home, the boys waved at the girls and they were waiting for Terrence who was still talking to the girl.
Terrence: Hope to see you again. Bye.
Girl: Wait. Your jacket.
Terrence: It's a gift from me. Bye.
Then all of them went off. She smile to herself  because none of her clients have given her anything but just money for her job. Then she felt something at the jackets pocket. It was a piece of paper. She open it and it was written........

" Eventhough I drink a lot tonight but I know what I'm doing and I also know what did we talk about. I have a good time tonight. This is my number. I will come again and meet you, Till we meet again."

She was so happy after reading the message.
Girl thinking: Oh My God. Is this how it feels like to fall in love? A real love? But...am I ready to fall in love? If I don't, I won't be able to forget about my ex. I think this guy will be my only chance to bring me happiness and I must let go of the old. I know I can do it. Oh Terrence. I will wait when you will come find me again. If not, I will message you.
Set By
- Jessica Tan -

A True Love Feeling Episode 2

The next day, Terrence was looking for Wendy. He spotted her at her usual locker. So he took a deep breath and slowly walks towards her. As he was approaching towards her, she look up and saw him. She was very delighted. She smile and straight away run to him and threw her arms over him.
Wendy: Oh Terrence. I missed you so much. 
Terrence: Um...I miss you too.  Wendy...
He gently pull her out of her hug to him. She look at him still with the smile on her face.
Terrence thinking: She's so pretty. Like an angel. I can't do this.
Then Wendy look at him with a puzzled face.
Wendy: Is something the matter?
Terrence: Wendy...I.....I can't.
Wendy: Can't.................what?

Terrence sighs and then....
Terrence thinking: Here goes.
Terrence: Let's break up.

A sense of confusion and heartache fell onto Wendy's heart.
Wendy: What? You're kidding aren't you? Did I just hear you correctly?
Terrence: You heard correctly. I said 'let's break up'
Wendy: What? How can you just say that without having any feelings towards it when you can just say it like that?
Terrence: Wendy, you got it all wrong. Of course when I say this, I feel hurt. Really painful. But...I just....I don't know. I don't have all the answers to answer your questions and I know you're really in a shock and you may even hate me. I just know that I'm not good enough for you and you....you deserve someone better. I don't deserve you.

Wendy's voice trembling: It's not for you to decide.
Terrence look clearly at her and notice that she's crying.
Terrence: Wendy, Please...it's not your fault. It's mine. Please. Nothing is wrong with you. I'm the problem. I just can't....I don't want you to....
Then suddenly, a slap went through Terrence's face. It was Wendy who slapped him. He then look at Wendy who was still crying. Then she said.
Wendy crying: I told you. It's not for you to decide who deserves me. 
Terrence just look at her with a hurt expression as he never know what's the nicest or sweetest words to ever say to a girl. Even this girl that he has been dating for a few weeks and also the most sweetest girl that he ever met has lost hope in him. He knows that but he just knew if he stays in this college, he will go back to be the loser he is now.
Terrence: I don't know what to say to you Wendy. As it also hurts me very much, I must say goodbye.
Wendy crying: Good....(sniff) bye?

Terrence: Yes Wendy. This is the reason why I said we can't be together. My grades aren't good enough. That's why I say, I'm not good enough for you and if I continue this relationship...I....well.....you will suffer with me. It's better to end it now rather than later. You might think I'm selfish. But I won't be staying anymore in this college. Today is actually my last day here. And I'm using this day to the fullest to thank you from the bottom of my heart and I can tell you, I never ever will forget you. I never even regret for knowing you. You are one of the most important thing that came into my life. I love you Wendy. Please remember that. Take care.

As Terrence wanted to walk away, with his back facing Wendy, Wendy ran to him and hug him from behind.
Wendy crying: I love you too Terrence. I'm sorry I slapped you.
Terrence: It's okay Wendy. Everything will be fine.

She stop hugging him and Terrence turn to face her. 
Wendy: Although, (sniff), I do not understand why all this is happening but I know you doing this for a reason. Maybe one day I will understand. Thank you for everything. (sniff).
Terrence just smile and then brush off her fringe from her forehead to at the back of her ear and wipe away her tears with his thumb. Then they hug for one lastime and he walk away with Wendy just looking at his back as he walks away and not been seen. Back at his friends, he also break the news to them.
Guy D: What? You're leaving?
Guy C: Dude. What the fuck man?

Terrence: Sorry guys. I just made my decision.
Billy: How about you Wendy?
Terremce: Um...well, we just broke up.
Billy, Guy B,D & C: What!?
Guy C: You just let her go like that? She's a real angel dude and it took you so long to be with her and....you blew it.
Guy D: Since you guys broke up, she's single right? I can have my chance.
Billy: Hey.
Guy D: Sheeesh...I'm just kidding.

While the boys were all joking, Terrence was looking around to see if he saw Julia. 
Terrence: Um....hey, Have you guys seen Julia?
Billy: She is here. In that room.

Billy pointed and Terrence saw her.
Terrence: What was she doing there all alone?
Billy: Um...no offence. She heard you and she walked there after you announced. So I assumed that she heard your so called speech. You better go talk to her.
Terrence: Oh boy. I hope I don't need to deal with all the drama again.
Billy: Good luck bro.

Then he walk towards Julia.
Terrence: Um....hi.
Julia: Hi

Julia didn't face Terrence. Her back was still facing him.
Terrence: Um....sooooooooooooooooo.......you heard right?
Julia: Uh-huh.
Terrence: I'm sorry. I know it's sudden....
Julia voice trembling: It's fine.

Terrence knew that something is wrong and he walk in front of her and saw that her face was red means she did cry.
Terrence: Oh my God Julia. Why are you crying?
Julia: Oh I don't know? Probably one of my closest friend is leaving college and the gang behind. So what do you think?
Terrence: Come on Julia. It isn't the end of the world okay? I will still visit you guys. Plan some outings with you guys and all. Don't worry about it.
Julia: I know but it's just won't be the same anymore you know?
Terrence: Trust me, I will not forget all of you especially you. How's that sounds?

Julia smiles and then he stopped crying. After that all of them talk to each other about his plans. As the day passby and when they are about to be going off, and Terrence went to the office to settle his stuffs, he met Billy on the way back from the office. Apparently he was waiting for him. 
Terrence: Billy? What you're doing here? You're not going back yet?
Billy: I was waiting for you. Come on.
Terrence: Oh. Okay.

They walk together.
Billy: I just wanna ask you one thing.
Terrence: Sure.
Billy: Do you like Julia?
Terrence thinking: What?
Terrence: Why are you asking me that question?
Billy: Well, I don't know. We keep on messing around with you and teased you and her together, So I'm just wondering,
Terrence: Um....I always think it as a joke. Nothing more. And I also think she thinks the same.
Billy: So really? No special feelings at all?
Terrence: Is there something you wanna say?
Billy: Because I was planning to tell Julia how I feel towards her.

Set By
- Jessica Tan -

A True Love Feeling Episode 1

Wind blows through the hair of Terrence. As he is standing outside of his college corridor. 
Terrence thinking: I hope I have good grades please. All my life I just wanted to have a good grade, have a happy family and a partner. Wendy please wait for me. I promise I will have a happy life with you.
Just then a few voices call out to Terrence.
Guy A shout: Hey Terrence!
Guy C: Yo dude!

Terrence just straight away look at the direction that called out to him. It was his friends. His really long time college buds. He smile and waved to them.
Terrence thinking: Kind to think of it, I am quite blessed to have those people as my friends.
So he went there and slapped their hands. There were five of them. One of them was a girl name Julia. He look at Julia and she also hi fie at him. She grins at him. Terrence also grin back at her. Although Julia is a girl but because she hangs a lot with the guys, sometimes, they treat her like one of their brothers instead. 
Guy D: So Terrence what were you doing over there. Standing there?
Terrence scratch his head and begin talking.
Terrence: Was just thinking about something you know?
Guy B: Like what?
Terrence: Um...
Julia: Life? After college?

Terrence look at Julia and smile.
Terrence: You know, it's amazing how you always knows what I'm thinking.
Julia: Huh? Really?

Julia turn away and blush a little.
Guy E: Oh My God. Are you blushing?
Julia: Of course not you moron.
Terrence giggling: Come on guys. Stop teasing her.
Guy A: Yeah stop teasing her.

Terrence look at Guy A. Guy A (Billy) is one of Terrence close buddies that's close to Julia too. 
Terrence: Ooookay. To answer your question Julia's right. I was thinking about life after college.
Billy: What's there to think about? You have your Wendy.
Julia: Well, Wendy's not everything you know?
Guy C: Oooooooo, I sense a struck of jealousy huh Julia?
Julia: What? I really don't know what have gotten into the guys today Terrence. Sorry about them.
Terrence giggling: I'm used to it. They always trying to hook you and me up together. So it's not weird at all.

Then Terrence saw a bunch of people at the scoreboard.
Terrence: Hey, I think our results are out. Let's go check it out.
So all of them ran to the scoreboard. He went and trying to make his way through to see his marks and then when he spotted his name. He look at his scores and his jaw drop open wide. 
Terrence thinking: 10% I'm so dead. How am I going to explain this to my parents? I wasn't even ready to study. 
Then all of  his other friends ran to him and ask.
Julia: So Terrence. How did you do?
Guy B: I got 50% Not so high but still.

Terrence didn't say anything but just look down at the ground. Julia and the rest notice that he has a very gloomy expression on his face. Then he exhales slowly and said...
Terrence: I..................have............10%
No one says anything. Just kept quiet and looking at each other. Julia hates the awkwardness. She began talking.
Julia: Um....well, that's okay. You can always try again.
Guy D; Don't worry. Julia is right.

Terrence look up and face them.
Terrence: Thanks guys but I really need time alone now. Sorry.
Then he just walk pass by them. His friends just stares at him helplessly, 
Julia thinking: If only I can do anything to ease his pain. Oh poor Terrence.
All of them left but Julia still starring at him. Then Billy was waiting for her and call out to her.
Billy: Julia. Come on.
Julia face Billy and then to Terrence who was walking away from a distance. Then Billy said.
Billy: Don't worry. He'll be fine. Come on.
Julia look at Terrence one more time and then follow Billy.
Back at Terrence. He went home and up to his room. He lye down on his bed with his face on the bed for a few seconds and turn around to lye down facing the ceiling.
Terrence thinking: I can't do this. I'm not suppose to do this. I need to focus on my next path. And....
He heard the sound of his gates opening. It must be his parents. He took a deep breath and went downstairs. As soon as his parents came inside the house, Terrence was there and was ready to tell them his marks. Of course after he has done telling them, he made a deal with them, that he is ready to change college and do something that he really can do and this time, he promised he will do a good job. His parents both agreed and asked him to settle the thing tomorrow. Terrence nodded and went up to his room.
Terrence thinking: Well, that wasn't so bad, The only problem now is to say goodbye to Wendy.
Set By - Jessica Tan

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Horoscopes signs. Cancer and Libra

Hi everyone. I know I have not been updating much lately but I kind of need to see where this relationship goes. 
I think I want to admit something here. I was so crazy on horoscopes this past few days starting on Friday. I wanted to know why I feel a sense of depression and sense of insecurity each time I'm being left alone and also being the need to actually imagining someone is beside me talking to me whenever I'm in the car or my bedroom alone. Only then I feel the relaxation that I totally need.
This week is a week of hell for me as a Cancer. I think I must admit the feelings that I have for my brother. I think yes I don't take him just as my brother but someone I really wants to be with. Like a company and a close friend and someone whom can hug me whenever I feel down. Clearly, this actions cannot be done. I've given him a piece of paper on how I treat special, normal and no contact friend and a link to tell him how Cancerians are and to my opinion, he did not read at all I guess. For Libra's there are those kind of people will try to keep everything balanced and harmony. But the thing is, they don't commit to anything and that is why they tend to be very bad in decision making and not just that, they tend to be also left behind when choosing the right partner.
The reason why my brother has always hurt me is that because when he said he will do something he will never do it and I think all Libra's are like that. They will take it to their heart analyzing it but they will never ever going to fulfill your request as days passby and that's very bad in a relationship. And when it comes to work, they are actually good in making decision and they treat everyone fairly in work and won't take sides not just in work but also in their personal life. They always needs to hear 2 sides of the story. But in love life, this isn't the case. They become very flirtatious and that's why they have no problem in mingling with friends and people tend to find them so easy going and nice to talk to but some people might find that this kind of people is tooooo nice and something is up their sleeves and tends to choose to stay away from Libra's. Libra's when they flirt, they do have their charm but don't get fooled by their flirtatious moves because in the end, they will just say ' I was jsut being friendly and polite. I just love to have friends" They tend to see the opposite gender at the surface first instead of the their inner self before the start to actually get to the point and this will always upsets them.
Like me, I'm always standing right in front of him. Asking him to change. Asking him to be a friend that can be caring to a Cancer and yes, he sees it at first but like I said, it don't last long. And whenever he is out with me, just one on one, his eyes will foes wondering off to any hot girls he sees. If I spend time with him the whole day, I think I can hear him say this 6 times."waaa, that girl is so hot/pretty/not bad" That kind of statement. But he don't see the girl which is me right in front of him. Of course I'm taken, I'm going to be married with another Libra guy. Wait,,,what? Another Libra? Yes, you got it right. Felix is another Libra but his kind of Libra for a Cancer to take him down took 9 years. Just imagine.But I will come back to Felix later. I've given him 3 chances. And all three just went down the drain for like less than a week. Wow. Fast right? I guess that's typical Libra's for not doing anything to a Cancer. 
The first chance was gone is because I as being the caring like mother crab always wanting to know what was wrong to a certain someone when I sense something is bothering them and because of me wanting to care, and my brother just shoves off saying 'nothing la' it's like indirectly telling you 'just stay out. You're being a nuisance" In Cantonese is "lei ho fan ar" But of course he didn't say it that way but that's how it shows when that statement 'nothing la' comes out. And then at the end, at night, he explains on what my other statement was. Not realizing that he actually hurt me and I replied ' fine'
The second chances was gone when he said he will meet me in GYM this week which I was really happy. Eventhough I didn't stayed in GYM on Monday but I got a feeling that he didn't go and even forgotten that he has made plans with me last Friday. Because if he were to go, he will actually message me but I don't think he did  go at all. And that's the second chances that blew off. The last chance that he was actually doing quite well last week and the weeks before was to check up on me and he was so happy that he was able to do it but he didn't do it this week at all so suddenly and that's when I decided it's just hopeless to actually put hope on this typical libra guy.
He has issues with his current ex girlfriend. She wants this relationship but he don't want this relationship because of his parents not approving. Trust me, this issue has been happening since last year december And actually as a Cancer to always tries to solve a problem, I did give him a very nice mean and cold message to send to that bloody girl but as soon as he reads it, he said this 'Oh no. I can't send this to her wei" Then when I asked him what's the reason, he said "Because she will know it's not me because I will never write an essay and cannot la. Cannot send this. This is not me" Then I said "just send so that she will stop harassing you and end your misery" And then he replied saying " don't worry, I will keep this statement but I won't send it out yet" When he said that I just know, he isn't serious about letting that relationship end. That statement actually that what I asked him to send was this 
"Now we are nothing.  I want  to reply whenever I want to is up to me. Don't control my life. I have been nice to you that's why I reply. Why can't you just leave me be?  You want to know the truth? Fine. I have no more feelings for you. If u want me to be friends with u I can. I don't want a relationship that is clingy like you keep on spamming and keep on asking me why why why. It's annoying and the more I don't want this relationship.

Look at this..u keep on writing messages and sorry. I'm not going to reply anymore.  If that's what you want. Bye. And take care"
To me, it's not so bad. But I can see if he don't even want to send this message and keeps on replying her messages, he will be miserable. So all the chances were gone and this chances are actually a test to see if what my guts says it's true and yes it is true. For Cancer to know when she isn't needed and being used by a certain someone especially a Libra. So his flaws to me is, he never replies my messages in time, he don't see me as someone who is pretty and like a lady. He don't even start a conversation or check up on me. And his latest trend is when I send him a message, he don't reply back and maybe just giving a thumbs up sign. Wow. I guess Libra is just like that? Now he tends to like all my posts but I find that stupid to not actually reading and just liking all the posts, Better still, don't like it at all and like it when you really like it. Because liking every single one of them is like just a routine to make me feel better but what's the point when you don't read it?
So I'm making my own decision today after knowing he is a Libra and a typical Libra I must say. I made and comes to a decision is that I won't wait on him anymore. Scrap off that brother/special/close/true friend word. These are all not for someone with a Libra horoscopes. They won't have a very close friends because they tend to flirt and manipulate others to correct your flaws  but then again their way of asking you to improve is actually asking themselves to improve. So I as a typical Cancer, is going to let go of my claws in clinging on to him and turn to another person that has a Capricorn and Scorpio sign. But Since I also have a bad experience with a Scorpio, I can relate to Capricorn. Best example, Nick and my dad are both Capricorns. So I will let go of Teik Sheng. No more him in my life. Maybe just as a normal or no contact friend as it is. Giving him the soft silent treatment like all crabs do is the best for Libra's since they hate confrontations but they also can be the dumbest of all for not knowing they hurt someone. 
As for Felix my fiance which also born under Libra horoscope. Well, sadly to say I have no idea why I have so much issues with Libra's and so much connections with Libra's. Felix, Reney and Teik Sheng are all Libra people and I can tell you, they are sensitive people to deal with and also you won't know what they are thinking. It can drive you nuts. Okay, back to Felix. Felix although he is a Libra, as he takes no sides and take forever to decide something, maybe because his weakness is not stay strong to his own needs that's what attracts a Cancer. I didn't know that we can actually last this long. 9 years of relationship anad finally, the Libra has finally learn to commit onto the next level.I think all this while he was just waiting when he can actually grow up and fulfilling the life of a man that I can depend on and because he is not making and doing the proper way, he just can't commit to a wedding.
But thankfully, all this has gone to past and he has made it to the next level with me and I'm proud to actually tell people there's a way to make the Cancer and Libra relationship works but lucky for me is that Felix was one hell of  Libra, that needs patience and endurance. Without these two, I don't think we can ever make it to actually move forward.  I really am blessed to have met him and truly no matter or whatever fails, I will never take our love for granted. We both have come this far together for so many 9 hardships moments and many times our relationship could have just ended but we strive to make it better and stronger. Because as I can see Libra's and Cancers are not meant to be together in a relationship. It's not to say that we can't, we can but it takes a whole lot of effort to actually get what each other wants. And if that can't be resolve, then nothing will. I make Felix eyes to shine and see the brighter side in wanting to have a warmth romantic relationship because that's what Cancerians are. They just care for their loved ones and always opens up to everything. Their hard on the outside just so that they can blend in with people but they are actually very sensitive and vulnerable in the inside and can just burst in tears if they feel someone has betrayed them are mistreated them when they give their all. 
So yes, I'm making my own Cancerian stand to actually say that I'm proud that I change my boyfriend who is  Libra to accept all the flaws and challenges that Cancerians have. Clingy and feeling want to always 24/7 hug into you. I also see that I'm starting to slowly let go things slowly. For example, Teik Sheng is the best example. I just know, no more him and I'm just going to concentrate on my wedding and Felix from now onwards, And other people who didn't treat me right like Teik Sheng are all just puppets to me.

Thank you everyone and I hope I get to let everyone knows and gets the slightest what are Libra and Cancers personality. 

Wednesday, March 06, 2019

It's been two days that I've never updated here.Yesterday was a total nightmare for me.As you all know that last week was all about my brother. This week instead of being a nice week (of what I thought), turns out to be much more worst. There was a mistake on Monday, and yesterday my leader said she was disappointed in us and our explanation and said that the management will not accept any of this.
I'm actually devastated yesterday. Didn't plan on doing anything. I was literally crying the whole night until morning and night again due to this shitty nightmare. First my brother, work and then Felix. I just know that no one can help me in this helpless state. If only my brother can be much more understanding and also help me and come find me just like how Kok Kean did, I will feel much delighted.
The last thing was for my work not to have any problem but looks like what's done has been done and this time I think they won't let us off the hook already. I just know that whatever it is, the worst thing can happen is, I will lose my job and what can I say? This job and company actually sucks for me. No increment for 2 years and they are putting all the important tasks on me when someone else should be the one taking that position. With a no salary raised, do you think I would wanna take up this job?
I feel no mood to come to work and put my mind and soul into this job because my salary is so freaking low. Anyway, what's the outcome are not certain yet but I hope that I can face it with encouragement and stay strong. As for Felix, he said don't throw away that song that I've been working on. Probably will turn back to sing that song and it made me so happy when he told me that. Time will heal our relationship I guess.
As for my brother, I don't know. Like I've said in my previous blog, I've given up on him and yes I did. Now I know how important I am to him. To him, even in the moment of me crying, under pressure, not focused or going crazy, no energy, I can see that I forever and ever will be his number 2 (last minute/second best/backup). I'm not important to even begin with from the start and yes I'm giving up on him. He said he will not give up on making me to forgive him 100% but well, he isn't doing anything and finally he has said out the truth about he isn't in the mood to do anything because he has some issues and I'm so sure those damn issues are all related to his ex gf in Thailand which I have told him to break up with her and move on. Told him gazillion billion times and yet he isn't ending it in a proper way.
Whatever it is, I don't care anymore about him. He wants to suffer, let him. The most disappointing thing was, when I was in a terrible state, that's where I needed you and you should be the one coming to me instead of me waiting again for the messages around 12 something. I will always be the end of the day thing to you. I won't be the start of the day, middle of the day but the end of the day thing. Disappointment forever is I'm ever ever going to feel after my work and love life is settled. My brother can never and will never ever make things right. 
That face to face drinking session is never going to happen even though I've already told him which day I'm available. I've even told him that I wanted this session so badly. But well, he did said that he don't really want it badly means he don't really want to see me also and he don't really want me to forgive him 100% and he don't care also if I did. That's like indirectly saying. 
But like I said, I'm just going to be his wall from now on. I won't respond already and only respond when I feel like I want too.So good luck to that and bye people.